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We are all supposedly on a "dating site" because we feel ready to get involved and have a relationship...we are ready to "move on"

As much as people write "no baggage" on their profiles...we all come with some sort of "baggage"...myself personally i like to call that "Life"...not baggage..(it is only baggage if you refuse to let it go..)

With all that being said...why is it you meet SOME people on here..they give you the impression they are "ready"...then hit you with a ton of "issues" they want and expect you to "hold their hand through"...
I don't mind sharing their life, sharing their ups and downs and certainly not "being there for them"..that is all part of a relationship and i understand this...but I am talking about someone wanting another to "fix" their life somehow...I am not sure if i have explained myself clearly here...

If you have nothing to "bring to the relationship table"...why did you sit down?...What were you expecting?...and what did you think you had to offer?

Thanks, Wikked. LMAO




El Diablo

Morning Izzy...

darlin---straight to the point again (thereby solidifying your goddess status)

I love this thread because I've read so many profiles that state the same. A good friend of mine said "we all have baggage, it's just knowing how to pack".

He is a Psychologist and he is right. I watch out for those profiles that express they have "cleaned out their suitcases". I've said it before. They have them hidden in the closet.

Wow good thread!

If you can't deal with the issues you have knowing them from experiencing them how can you expect anyone you 'just' met to understand them well enough to 'fix' them?

If you haven't dealt with them are you actually ready to move on?

Right we all have some baggage that comes along with us ....

What I great line “ it's just knowing how to pack".“ I came here not know but learning I am ready and confidante to move on in a relationship. Yes the past may hurt but it no longer controls me. Some proof that I am ready recently came to me. I have started seeing this lady we have been on 8 dates and not once have we spoke about or ex’s or pain of the past. It simply not time to talk about it maybe will be may we never will but not having a need to talk about it to me as proven I have my past packed away correctly. We are just having fun for now.

To day I can say dating is cool, not all women are evil and maybe in time love will be ok again

If you have nothing to "bring to the relationship table"...why did you sit down?...What were you expecting?...and what did you think you had to offer?

A really good question. Am wondering myself that too.....

I always mention my carry-on luggage, thjo I don't always check it in

I don't look at the so-called baggage as being burdened down with a load, but rather my suitcase for what I need on this continual journey. I call it experience...

Is that what you call it? Baggage. I thought it was life, the good, the bad and the ugly. We all have it.
I had a guy once really acting interested in me. Then when he found out I was a leo, he had the nerve to put me in the catagory of someone he once knew, and his ex wife and bluntly decided that I was a liar, a thief and just plain ole no good. Now that was his baggage. My baggage was, been there done that, bye bye. He had the nerve to want me to prove myself to him. NOT!! Other than that, I have not been lucky having guys wanting to talk to me. Their loss though. Problem is, I probably would try to hold their hand for awhile.
Kat

A "real man" ready for a relationship with me will realize that i am NOT his "ex"...realize he may have his own "issues" to deal with and that NOT ALL WOMEN are to blame for those issues...

He will also appreciate that i worked hard to resolve my own "issues" so that i could enter into a healthy loving relationship with him...I don't view my past experiences all negative I've used them to help me grow and i bring that new knowledge with me too...

This is the reason why it states plainly in my profile that I am not looking for a girlfriend, Not looking for a lover, not looking for a discreet encounter. You couldn't handle me.

My bags are completely full but I still need friends.

The past is but the first step we use to the future, and as we build the staircase, we have materials that may not have always been the best, but they still added to the stairs. I want you to undesrtand how I reached this point in the stairs, but I don't want you to fix the past...no, take my hand and help me build the next level.

OMG that is way much more than i wanna read.

A relationship requires alot of work,more so then most tend to realize,and although most are mentally ready to be loved and have the comforts of being loved,they become clouded on what a relationship requires.

So this thing those call "baggage" becomes a issue when the a effort is not put forth in trying to work a relationship out.

Many have come custom to living on there own for a long time,and they enjoy there space,sure many a times you would like to have the warmth and comfort of someone in your arms,and to give love,be loved and fall in love.
But are many prepared to work at compromise,all the little things you do on a daily basis that we come by honestly about,and all the things another does on a daily basis that they come by honestly are things that have to be worked on by all parties.
What I mean is,we all have habits,be it good or bad,in getting to know someone,(I am not fond of the word dating)in the begining its new and exciting and your welcoming it with open arms,but you are merly just getting your toes wet,so when your foot becomes emerged fully in the water,OUCH!,its cold,and you are now taking a close look at the whole picture and not just the picture you had in mind.

We all have are own ways of doing things,we all have minds of are own,we are all are own individuals and so when becoming a couple we have to become adjusted to these parts of the others being,and we are not always going to like alot of things,and somethings will change and others will not.And so we have to ask are self how much effort am I going to put forth into making this relationship to work.

Getting to know someone is really not done in the right manner until 2 are spending time in each others space and sharing in each others lives.

Everyone whats to be loved and in love,but not many wanna work at keeping it alive.

And this shit called "baggage",sure some have more and some have less,but in getting to know someone and trying to make a go of it,those you use this term is simply there way of making and excuse for a exit......

Wikked love this
some want someone to "FIX" life for them but it should be about learning to make a new life togeter and about taking it one day at a time

I'm absolutely not ready for a "relationship" as most people define it. Nor do I believe that there was ever a time when I wanted such a thing.

I've pretty much just been seeking someone to coexist with as best friends. By that, I mean I want someone who doesn't have any preconceived notions of what a "relationship" might be. Our relationship will simply become whatever it is in a perfectly natural and unencumbered way.

The whole preconceived idea of what a relationship should be is the unwanted "baggage" as far as I'm concerned.

I just want a best friend who has no judgmental preconceptions. And that's all I have to offer. I have no expectations of a partner other than honestly and sincerity. That's it. Fidelity will be automatic if the honesty and sincerity are there especially if monogamy was intellectually agreed upon since then to break it behind someone's back would fall under the category of being dishonest and insincere.

So just give me an honest and sincere woman who has no expectations beyond that and I'll be in seventh heaven.

But give me a woman who has all sorts of expectations of me and of how I should behave in a "relationship" and I'll toss her right back on the shelf real quick. Just not what I'm shopping for. Sorry.

Even if you won't hold my hand, Urs...can we git nekkid?????