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What do you do when someone very close to you is in trouble....
Wait for them to ask for help or approach the problem yourself....
exspecially if it depends on their happiness?

I don't want to seem like I am interfering but at the same time
I can't bare to see her go through this.....confused....

Any advice appreciated.

Your post is too vague. What kind of "trouble?"

Matters of the heart....Met someone.....moved to fast
and now she has found out things that are not so flattering
and a bit scarey.....she's already given up everything
and moved in with the guy....now she's doubting herself
and with good reason.....S he is discontent and lost and
I'm not sure how to approach the subject without being too
oppionionated.....because I'm so close to the subject.

Need a fresh approach from someone that can look at it from
another perspective.....

Ask something along the lines of "how's it getting on with (his name)" and see how she replies.. the 'how' is important, try to understand what she's feeling more than what she's saying.. then communicate her feelings back to her.. this process helps her to open up if u do it in a non-judgemental mannar.

For example if she replies with a "i just dunno.." u could reply with a "it feels like something is worrying you and u don't know what" kind of thing.. keep on repeating this process, focusing on her feelings more than her responses, and if she trusts you, she will be opening up to u in no time.

remember, the point here is not that she follows your advice, but her own heart. so your job here is not to give her advice, but to help her clarify her thoughts and help her to understand what SHE wants.. not what U want her to do

good luck

Being "too opinionated" is a foreign concept to me. If you're truly concerned about her safety, to hell with what she thinks about your opinion. Tell her how you feel. You don't have to be mean about it, just be honest and forthright. She'll either accept it or reject it. Not much more you can do than that.

if you two are true friends well you should be able to speak from the heart, and say what it is that you feel. You have to let her know that true friends are there in the good and the bad, if she is not happy that you are just a ph call away.
But its her decision what she does about her situation and you are there for her. But dont throw judgements at her. But sometimes we see things about people we wouldnt put up with and others do until they decide to change. Wish you luck and just be there for her.

Thank you all for your advice it will come in handy.....
Would really like to elaborate more on the subject but
don't want to betray this persons. I will say not only a
friend but family member and she has talked about her
unhappiness.....but she is not ready to come to terms with it
due to the fact that she did move so fast and she is now afraid
of looking like a fool for following her heart and not listening
to the warnings from friends and family.
She's on a mission to try to make it work at all costs...even
her own happiness.
Once Again.....Thank YOU

You wrote "She's on a mission to try to make it work at all costs...even her own happiness."

That is a recipe for disaster. Why forsake one's own happiness and integrity for something that a person does not feel secure in?

I feel the same way Tumpa but it has to be her decision at
this point....It's a matter of power of suggestion....but how
do you do that without being too pushy??
She see's it... she's asking for help but yet she doesn't want
too admit she made a mistake...Think she thinks it reflex as some
sort of failure on her part.....It's very complicated and
touchy because it is family....I suggested she talk to
someone that is'nt so close to the situation and she feels
she needs that also....so hopefully she will take anothers
advice......At this point if she stay's it can only get
worse.....Just needs to swallow her pride.....For her sake
and his as well....
Thanks...

I agree with Nuala . Express your concern over a coffee or something . I too think you need to stay back and allow her to live her own life . It is her choice .

Let her know you care.She needs you right now.

if u are giving her advice to talk it out with someone, do encourage her to see someone capable, such as a counsellor or therapist..

advice coming from friends often comes out as 'pushy' like u said, and she will not take it if she feels pressured, and if she does, she will later regret it.. or wonder if she made 'the right decision'.

if u feel incapable of helping her urself, encourage her to see a professional helper... she'll be in good hands..

She knows Mastic and I think you know who she is....

Thanks.....

She's a big girl and if she want's to leave she should, unless there is a reason why she can't like she's scared or somthing like that, talk to her, get it out in the open.

Very good advice....I'll have to suggest that and see where
it goes.

Did they meet online?

Yes as a matter fact they did and it was fast.

Peg, thank you, I am trying very hard to decide what is best
for me. A very difficult thing for me to do as I always think
of others and how I can help them. You are a great sister and
I thank you once again for being concerned.

I love ya sis...please please don't worry about everyone
else and think about yourself and what will make you happy
this time....Your future depends on it...and I'm alway's
gonna be here even if ya don't like what I have to say
some of the times.....See pestered you and Hank for quarters
when I was a pup to get me out of your hair...all growed up
now don't think those quarters will do...and you know what I
mean by that....sentimental......

Someone near, someone dear:

Just drive away all my fear!!!





~BRANDON~