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Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I am angry. I love that line from the Incredible Hulk. I spent some time talking to mom. I figured she was the best one to talk to since she had to deal with my dad's rage. The lady who has been trying to teach me, which is an accomplishment in itself, told me that they haven't had any new people at night in over a year. I know I am hard to train even the United States Army gave up, lol. I have felt like I have been going through boot camp all over again. I know its rage because you could have lit a cigarette off me this morning when I got off I was so hot. Mom finally got me too cool down and not quit my job and telling them where they could stick the job. I was doing alright when the training even though I am more adept with speaking with my fists. It was just that final straw after dealing with the anger all night trying to learn and the call nurse bitching about the tv being on. The little bit of relief and I didn't even turn on the stupid freaking tv. But did I hear about it from her no I heard it about it from the Director of Nursing who she told. My fists communicate very effectively but communicating with an oral language has always been a problem for me. I have calmed down but thought maybe someone besides me might have a similiar problem dealing with rage. I have seen this termed as venting.

Roy

rage....me ....naw...

It was the straw that broke the camel's back this morning. I have heard that there are two sides to every story and my mom told me that I should have gave my side to the DON. She told me to stick it till I got my certification so that I could get into home health care. She told me that I should pray about it. I thought of maybe asking God for some Christians to throw to the lions to apease my anger or just some plastic explosive to get my point across.

What certificate are you going for?

I would just try to forget about it and think tomorrow will be a better day

Roy ... i hear you. My father has the same problem thanks God, he cooling down very fast. But those minutes ...when he is in that stage ... My poor mother

In Japan, they have a special room in offices, containing a human dummy ... and everyone who is disagree with a boss or a co-worker able to go and tear that artificial body into shreds. Yeah



you doing Okay, Roy!!

The state certificate for Nurse's aide. The nursing home paid for our college and the certification comes from them. Once I get it a whole bunch of doors will open up for me. There are many places that need good nurses. I really didn't want to use the nursing home as a stepping stone because I like working there. I just have trouble dealing with people. I know that probably doesn't make much sense.

I appreciate that. I think each day is different. I am not always so pissed off at the world.

Yeah, my mom stayed with my dad till I was almost three. She told me did her best to stand by him for as long as he could. Growing up was like a boot camp and dad was a trained killer as soldier have to be. Since dad died in 1997 mom has told me lots I didn't know before which really helped me with my genealogy page. I got to hear her side of the story. She talked about the gi inspection that she had to have because she had to live at all the bases he was moved to in his Army transfers. The dummies make sense. My anger is internalized and I take the anger out on myself but dad's was external and he took it out on people. I usually shake uncontrollably and go through tears after it has happened. It was good to have mom to talk to.

Roy, internal anger is not is just as bad, because you are hurting yourself.

Not only does it not stop, but also there are physical (medical risk) that will affect you.

Anger that is like a poison to the body, a form of self destruction, you have much going for you, take control of "it" so that you will not lose this great opportunity you have going for you.

I know I e-mailed you...but just had to add a little extra.

Peaceful thinking, replaces the negatives.




Angel

Funny thing is when growing up if there was a fight any wheres near where I lived growing up I somehow managed to be in it, lol. There was some street gangs in Germany where I grew up to age 9 but when I moved to the states I never had the opportunity to be in the street gangs because of the different places dad was stationed at and the frequency of the moves.

you are very lucky to be close to her.

That's what my Dad is doing,too ... i went through the same boot camp as well. You see ... and we are still here, on the Earth and not a bad people afterall!

Thanks, Angel. It was just like there was no escape from it last night. I tried to stay positive and I know it affects the blood pressure which I don't need to elevate. Yeah, the self destruction is not good. Oh, my do I feel that poison some times.

Yeah, it is a wonder that we have blowned ourselves to bit, yet.

I have to learn that anger isn't bad but how a person handles it. Everyone gets angry but some people have healthy anger and get it out in a productive manner.

indeed! and that was a lesson i've learned by seeing deeds of my father.

Parents teach negative and positive things. I had to quit blaming everyone else for my problems. After a while I had my own problems and not just the ones I inherited.

My son does...

He has a problem similar to you, hon.

He will pace, say something, then immediately mutter it right after...

He has to just leave the situation temporarily. That's not always easy...

I notice you DID get through it, and are whole...if afraid. But, you DID. And that matters.

My son has had to have therapy for rage.If you don't want to get therapy try some relaxation exercises,meditation,vigorous workout,yoga,wind chimes just see what works for you.And when you are calm try to figure out what causes the rage,not the thing that set it off but deep down why you have rages.I'm not a therapist,I grew up with my dad having rages and my son had them.There is a theory that they are inherited. Good luck.

Listen don't take this to personal but rage is not a good thing in fact it can cost you a lot of things. Job for one,friends and family and having any decent relationship you might as well forget not to mention it can make you ill.And the term you mentioned as venting might get you in trouble. Everyone has there bad days but It's how you deal with it that matters.There are ways you can express yourself without rage.I suggest you get some professional help and remember your not really a bad person you just need some help in dealing with some issues. Cathy