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I have been dumped in the past, as I'm sure everyone has. I have often wondered why after giving your heart to someone that they don't give you no explanation, no chance to talk about it, even if it is to say it's not working. Just "Bam" leave me alone! My ex cheated several times, I forgave her a few times because I loved her. When the day came she said to leave her alone I did. Now she wants me back. No dice. Another one dropped me and had her own reasons I guess, I was never told why. Now something has happened and it has me pretty shook up, yet I can't even tell her I hope all goes well or that I am sorry this happened, she too had told me "leave me alone". Am I wrong for giving my heart to these women and caring about what we shared, even if it is not going to work between us? I am not being persistant and harassing them,etc. When they say "go" I do. Do you think they are just trying to say give me some space? If so, why do they say go? Kevin

That is why I am enjoying the friendships, Kevin. You make a good point and it is good to really get to know someone before you offer yourself as a sacrifice. Maybe I am looking at it wrong but each time I fail I learn just a little bit more about stuff. I am glad you are a member here.

Roy

"offer yourself as a sacrifice" That's the best description I have heard in a while.

that is a funny term but it descibes how I feel, sacraficed.

I can't really offer you advice as such ... but only thigs I've learned in my life.

First of all, you should never 'sacrifice' yourself to anyone - howevee great your love is - and that means you respect yourelf and share in your love rather than give yourself to it.

Secondly, you are putting all women under one umbrella. As if all women are the same. Of course they share the experiences of being women but you'll dind all sorts of personalities and characters that are diverse.

Thirdly, I have grown to appreciate that when I was in a relationship (mostly friendships) with a woman, I discovered things in myself that helped me grow in my self-understanding. I feel that love is a process rather than an end product.

When I love someonne, I am not giving myself to her (in my case) but rather being with that person and opening my heart to the other person. Although in the past, I admit to have been wanting to be loved and in the process forgetting who I was. Don't do that.

Hope it helps.

Oh, you might like my Oblivia Nirvana thread then.

script down in a Huge Letters on a sheet of paper and pin on the wall

you should never 'sacrifice' yourself to anyone

But how?????????????????????????????????? Teach me

You're right! Sorry ladies I did not mean to group you all in one cluster. I am usually very aware of doing things like that. My appologies. As for me, I am very proud of who I am. I have worked very hard at becoming the man I am, and I am proud of it. I think that maybe I tend to let my feelings get tromped on by putting them out there for someone that you "trust" to have at their disposal. I try to be open and honest 24/7, maybe I have become to trusting and not taken more time to find out who she really is first,eh? kevin

"Leave me alone" is much better than 100% complete silence and being evasive. - At least you had some idea as to wth was happening, all things the same.

That is true, Rich. I mean we all have issues to deal with or some of us wouldn't be here. It is communication.

You're right Rich,(once again ) maybe I just feel that the others should give the respect that I would by confronting the situation. Not just leave someone and their feelings after you've shared so much to fend for themselves without reason. Kevin

I agree with that, running from something that they can't handle or want to talk about doesn't do anything but show just how they are when it comes down to something that they couldn't care about in the least bit.

Rich

I can't speak for other women but if a man does something to offend/hurt/upset/anger me, not only am I going to tell him about it, but chances are he's going to be reminded of it - every single day and for the rest of his life. hehehe

j/k..sort of.

Well at least you would confront the situation But I hope you are just joking about the reminder Kevin

women aren't the only ones that handle saying goodbye that way.Men in my experience are pretty evasive when it comes to ending the relationship too.I think a lot of people don't really know how to end one.They know the person they are in the relationship with is nice and it's not their "fault" that it isn't working so they create a big leave me alone scene.People deserve better than that but it's one thing that is never going to change.When it's over, it's over don't beat yourself up trying to figure out what you did or could have done differently.We've all been there and we all know it's confusing and it hurts.

I think of the words in the song, What Hurts the Most, he says: what hurts the most, was being so close, and not seeing that loving you, is what I was trying to do. I will work on the beating up part though, thanks. Kevin

Only if deemed necessary.

They want space? Give it to em & tell em not to let the door hit them in the ass on the way out.. Harsh? Possibly, but why go or be where we are not wanted.. Life is just to damn short..

If thats what they want, I agree. But sometimes it's not stated that clearly. Kevin

And some women say men like to play mind games..