girls i need your help on this one

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littleman454 dayton, Tennessee USA
I have been married for 9 years. I am getting a divorce. the problem is I haven't asked anyone out in over 13 years.

I would like advice on asking out people. frustrated
Sadeyes044 Tonawanda, New York USA
Are you speaking of on here or what? confused



Mitchell1 Chattanooga USA
In response to:
I have been married for 9 years. I am getting a divorce. the problem is I haven't asked anyone out in over 13 years.

I would like advice on asking out people. frustrated
I`m not a girl, but I have a suggestion for you.

How about when you find someone you would like to spend time with, Don`t ask them to go anywhere. Just tell them that you are planning to be at such and such a place and that it would be nice if they could join you.

Example: I`m going to go to the coffee shop tomorrow night for some of that good coffee they serve. It would be nice if you could join me for some stimulating conversation.

You actually haven`t asked her to go anywhere, but what you have done is let her know your plans and invited her along.


This takes a lot of the pressure off of you. You are letting her know that you are going to go have fun wether or not anyone else wants to share with you does not matter. If she says no, you can reply with something like, "So you don`t like good food?', or "So you don`t like to have fun?"

Hope this helps.
dessertRose2006w melbourne, Victoria Australia
how bout enjoy your freedom first and do what u want to do...leave dateing out for awhile...as for asking someone out,well im pretty shy and i usually dont ask a guy out...and im not in hurry to do so,i like being on my own that way theirs no hassle....
Konigsberg Jurassic Park (Site B), Nova Scotia Canada
In response to:
how bout enjoy your freedom first and do what u want to do...leave dateing out for awhile...as for asking someone out,well im pretty shy and i usually dont ask a guy out...and im not in hurry to do so,i like being on my own that way theirs no hassle....
leave dating for awhile ...are you kidding Man was dreaming of it for a whole 9 years ( I see some improvement in spelling hug )

Littleman just tell them " Don't you want to have some ice cream with me?" It works, I know grin

Good luck man
hug
Southern_Belle35 Katrina Ville, Louisiana USA
In response to:
I`m not a girl, but I have a suggestion for you.

How about when you find someone you would like to spend time with, Don`t ask them to go anywhere. Just tell them that you are planning to be at such and such a place and that it would be nice if they could join you.

Example: I`m going to go to the coffee shop tomorrow night for some of that good coffee they serve. It would be nice if you could join me for some stimulating conversation.

You actually haven`t asked her to go anywhere, but what you have done is let her know your plans and invited her along.


This takes a lot of the pressure off of you. You are letting her know that you are going to go have fun wether or not anyone else wants to share with you does not matter. If she says no, you can reply with something like, "So you don`t like good food?', or "So you don`t like to have fun?"

Hope this helps.
That is a very intelligent response. Not only will it take the pressure off of him but it will take the pressure off of the lady as well. If the lady is asked outright on a date she may say no for various reasons, one being that she may think she isn't ready to date, or she may not know him well enough to feel comfortable going on a date, but if she is asked the way that you put it she will have a chance to get to know him without any of the "dating pressures".



PeachesandCream Concord, North Carolina USA
In response to:
I`m not a girl, but I have a suggestion for you.

How about when you find someone you would like to spend time with, Don`t ask them to go anywhere. Just tell them that you are planning to be at such and such a place and that it would be nice if they could join you.

Example: I`m going to go to the coffee shop tomorrow night for some of that good coffee they serve. It would be nice if you could join me for some stimulating conversation.

You actually haven`t asked her to go anywhere, but what you have done is let her know your plans and invited her along.


This takes a lot of the pressure off of you. You are letting her know that you are going to go have fun wether or not anyone else wants to share with you does not matter. If she says no, you can reply with something like, "So you don`t like good food?', or "So you don`t like to have fun?"

Hope this helps.
Mitchell....Excellent approach for both the Gentleman and the Ladyhug No rejection on his part, and no obligation on her part. She can come knowing it's a friendly chat, and he can enjoy knowing he can offer to pay or they can go dutch, and everybody's can let their guards down some...Great Ideayay Smoothcool



izzyva Highland Springs, Virginia USA
Dress well, be funny, be yourself, be confident, and you will see. they will be asking you out.








El Diablo
devil



lvslife moore USA
Mitchell, that was really good.hug
In my opinion, you really should not be trying to date until that divorce is final. That is not fair to another person. What if the two of you decided to get back together? Or, there is rebounding...can cause problems.
Kathandshake
dancingfarmer Columbia, Connecticut USA
No need to wait until the divorce is final to date--it could take years. As for getting back together, if you are considering divorce, the option of getting back together should be a moot point or you'd still be there trying to work it out. Friendly dates are the best. I like Mitchell's advice. Keep it light for now. I found a nice guy at the local dance hall. Find your local Fred Astaire studio and sign up for lessons - you get to meet lots of new people and once new friends are established, people will naturally try to fix you up and from there it gets easier. My dance partner learned how to dance for the specific reason of meeting women. Give it a try and its healthy exercise too. dancing dancing
littleman454 dayton, Tennessee USA
hello and thanks for all the advice. I really don't know what I'm looking for.

kinda hard to explain: I guess I'm just lonely.

keep writing

btw rhanks for the advice mitchell cheers
Assets52 Littleton, New Hampshire USA
In response to:
I`m not a girl, but I have a suggestion for you.

How about when you find someone you would like to spend time with, Don`t ask them to go anywhere. Just tell them that you are planning to be at such and such a place and that it would be nice if they could join you.

Example: I`m going to go to the coffee shop tomorrow night for some of that good coffee they serve. It would be nice if you could join me for some stimulating conversation.

You actually haven`t asked her to go anywhere, but what you have done is let her know your plans and invited her along.


This takes a lot of the pressure off of you. You are letting her know that you are going to go have fun wether or not anyone else wants to share with you does not matter. If she says no, you can reply with something like, "So you don`t like good food?', or "So you don`t like to have fun?"

Hope this helps.
This is a great approach!

Sooooo when and where can I bump into you?



33sosexy hyannis, Massachusetts USA
i agree with the man that said instead of asking her out just let her know where you will be on a particular night.. a woman will respond in such a way that should allow u to figure out if she's interested or not.For example..if she says "well maybe i'll see u there" chances are she finds something interesting about u.On the other hand if she says "well, i have plans but maybe next time" keep it moving!
loneone Brantford, Ontario Canada
Littleman454 your going to be a free agent, don't chase them now, enjoy yourself. And remember you can never go back, ask yourself how you got here and here is better.head banger
littleman454 dayton, Tennessee USA
In response to:
Mitchell, that was really good.hug
In my opinion, you really should not be trying to date until that divorce is final. That is not fair to another person. What if the two of you decided to get back together? Or, there is rebounding...can cause problems.
Kathandshake
unfortunately she already has a boyfriend. I met him the day after I moved my cloths out

sigh

I know it kinda sucks

thanks for the replies



MorningGloria
whats the hurry?

Enjoy just being single, make friends with people, take it easy.

Personally I love casual dating, those are so much fun. Relationships take alot of work but just going out with friends, having the occasional nice time without worrying about it leading anyplace is great.
littleman454 dayton, Tennessee USA
In response to:
whats the hurry?

Enjoy just being single, make friends with people, take it easy.

Personally I love casual dating, those are so much fun. Relationships take alot of work but just going out with friends, having the occasional nice time without worrying about it leading anyplace is great.
thanks for the replies. thruth be known I haven't been myself lately.

I guess I'm lonely

oh well ill get better after the first of the year. keep the replies commingcheers



RainbowSlider Yellville USA
I have had so much fun with married ladies and ladies that have boyfriends. It takes the pressure off from dating and I am getting to meet a lot of men, too. It is like no pressure at all. I am having fun with ladies that could be my grandmother's age. I have met some real crazies, too. They really can be lots of fun.rolling on the floor laughing
sqeekers Elkmont, Alabama USA
In response to:
I have been married for 9 years. I am getting a divorce. the problem is I haven't asked anyone out in over 13 years.

I would like advice on asking out people. frustrated
Sorry, but i am kinda in the same way. Its been 7 years for me.dunno



twilightstwin Detroit Lakes USA
I've never been any good myself. But just act natural, listen to the person with all your heart, and show interest in what they are telling you.




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