Posted: Feb 14, 2007, 2:41 PM CST
My Brother, If I can pass one thing on to you or anyone in this boat (been there done that) is this. The truth is that you long for the puppet of ur ex. What I mean is that the person u miss really isnt your ex. We all have puppets in our heads of the people we know. These puppets are who we base our emotions on. I was married 13 years while in the military and my ex had 14 affairs on me. I gave up a military career to save my marriage but it didnt work out. I have been divorced for 8 years. Even when my ex was gone, I longed for who she was in my head not for her. The puppet in my head was sorry for cheating on me so many times and said and did everything right. My ex told me that she never really loved me. The person I longed for would never say that. I missed her so much that I carried it into my next relationship. That was very unfair of me. It took years but after that relationship ended (6 years), I now felt the same way for my ex girlfriend. I couldnt understand how I could feel the same way about her as I felt about my ex wife. Then it hit me. The females I miss arent the only ones in the world. How could I be so lucky to have been able to get with the only two women in the world who could hurt me. The truth is they were simply person X. What I missed was the companionship and love. When I started taking my pain as my own, it stopped. I didnt hurt because person X didnt love me or act the way they acted in my head, I hurt because I didnt have someone, anyone, in that place. It didnt matter if it was my ex wife, my ex girlfriend, or Mariah Cary. I was sad for myself, not sad for them. I will pray for you, my brother. Just remember, when you feel noone else cares, dont forget me and Jesus love you!! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Someday, you will be with the one God has for you and just imagine how great she will be!!
(((((((HUG))))))))
Your Brother in Christ
Shane