Thread:

Why women feel insecure without kids?

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Why women feel insecure without kids?




asianboy
Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 8:46 AM CST
i am just curious if its only happen in EAST or all women think in such way tht if they have kids they have more secure life in their hands..as i asked on lady why she birth a third child if she has already two..she replied i am abit more satisfied now and just feel more security tht my husband will always be with me bcoz of kidsconfused So do u think you can have a better and more secure married life after having a child ? OR its just how the Eastern women thinkconfused
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Michigan dating
LonelyInBC31
Battle Creek, Michigan USA
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 9:00 AM CST
I felt more secure before I had kids...look at this world, I dont care if you have 20 kids how can you feel secure? I am always worried about my kids! 2ndly, I wouldnt have more kids to keep a man around, thats NUTS!!

JMHOD'oh!
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Westdeck
Amsterdam, Noord-Holland Netherlands
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 9:19 AM CST
Paki logic?wink
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IrishLass1
Metairie USA
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 9:30 AM CST
In response to:
i am just curious if its only happen in EAST or all women think in such way tht if they have kids they have more secure life in their hands..as i asked on lady why she birth a third child if she has already two..she replied i am abit more satisfied now and just feel more security tht my husband will always be with me bcoz of kids So do u think you can have a better and more secure married life after having a child ? OR its just how the Eastern women think
Asian, in the eastern culture their beliefs are different, just as their approach to life is different. A lot of eastern cultures, think that having male children is better then having females. Then some places you have arranged marriages and they expect them to have children. Also in some eastern cultures, they expects the children to care for the parents.

I can not answer for all western women. I have no children, I love children, but I feel it is best not to have children at my age. Children are not what makes a woman in western society. The children have a choice if they want to care for the parents, it is not demanded. The old idea of children keeping a marriage together has been throw out. A lot of people want children to pass on a piece of themselves when they are gone, so this may be a factor on deciding to have children also. In western society, some people have children because they desire to, others have them by accident. It is not to secure a married lifestyle.
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Adrean
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 9:35 AM CST
In response to:
i am just curious if its only happen in EAST or all women think in such way tht if they have kids they have more secure life in their hands..as i asked on lady why she birth a third child if she has already two..she replied i am abit more satisfied now and just feel more security tht my husband will always be with me bcoz of kids So do u think you can have a better and more secure married life after having a child ? OR its just how the Eastern women think
That all depends on the circumstances, If my husband wanted childen then yes and we both want them...of course..


If I was single wouldnt want any...

If married and we agreed we didn't want them it wouldnt have mattered to me not to have them..

My kids are ten years apart cuz one seemed like plenty by husband of 15 yrs wanted one more... so had another ..

she will be in college in 2 yrs. if not sooner..



sorry went off topic..
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LOLjuzme
instate, Washington USA
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 9:41 AM CST
In response to:
i am just curious if its only happen in EAST or all women think in such way tht if they have kids they have more secure life in their hands..as i asked on lady why she birth a third child if she has already two..she replied i am abit more satisfied now and just feel more security tht my husband will always be with me bcoz of kids So do u think you can have a better and more secure married life after having a child ? OR its just how the Eastern women think
"confused " was the only thing in the original post that I could relate to in any way. But hey, sure was good for a laugh (really did think it was supposed to be in the jokes forum after the first read through, and was surprised that it was a serious question).
Guess my answer who be a big old "Hell NO!", but I understand very little of Eastern ideas, especially why women tolerate being treated the way they are overall, so I wouldn't be the one to tell you anything about how they really think.
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asianboy
Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 11:54 AM CST
In response to:
Paki logic?
Thanks for ur information.. but just read the post..i already said tht its usually happened in East and just curious how the you ppl think.. so i did'nt meant to argu or debate here..scold
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asianboy
Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 12:00 PM CST
In response to:
Asian, in the eastern culture their beliefs are different, just as their approach to life is different. A lot of eastern cultures, think that having male children is better then having females. Then some places you have arranged marriages and they expect them to have children. Also in some eastern cultures, they expects the children to care for the parents.

I can not answer for all western women. I have no children, I love children, but I feel it is best not to have children at my age. Children are not what makes a woman in western society. The children have a choice if they want to care for the parents, it is not demanded. The old idea of children keeping a marriage together has been throw out. A lot of people want children to pass on a piece of themselves when they are gone, so this may be a factor on deciding to have children also. In western society, some people have children because they desire to, others have them by accident. It is not to secure a married lifestyle.
Thanks Irishlass..whenever i put such Cultural question here i always need some sensible answer and you are one of them who always comes with kind heart and great wisdom..handshake
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Pucks
Vernon Canada
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 5:30 PM CST
Good question, i would love to hear lady responses on this one.

My ex, just popped the news that her and her new fiancee are having a another child. Her two daughters, whom she had with me are not thrilled. It has led me to think that it is a security thing for my ex or to prove to herself that she loves this new man. I have no idea and could be way off?dunno She is getting her tubes untied to do this? wow.

anyway, sorry for hi jacking your thread. My comment is related though. i should have started a new one. but i am not erasing all i typed.....lol forgive me Asian boy. Cheers.
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twilightstwin
Detroit Lakes USA
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 5:34 PM CST
In response to:
i am just curious if its only happen in EAST or all women think in such way tht if they have kids they have more secure life in their hands..as i asked on lady why she birth a third child if she has already two..she replied i am abit more satisfied now and just feel more security tht my husband will always be with me bcoz of kids So do u think you can have a better and more secure married life after having a child ? OR its just how the Eastern women think
Nope. Husbands or wives will wander or stray if its within their means. Doesn't matter how many kids you have or don't have. My friend has three, and just discovered her husband cheating.sigh
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Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 5:35 PM CST
In response to:
Good question, i would love to hear lady responses on this one.

My ex, just popped the news that her and her new fiancee are having a another child. Her two daughters, whom she had with me are not thrilled. It has led me to think that it is a security thing for my ex or to prove to herself that she loves this new man. I have no idea and could be way off? She is getting her tubes untied to do this? wow.

anyway, sorry for hi jacking your thread. My comment is related though. i should have started a new one. but i am not erasing all i typed.....lol forgive me Asian boy. Cheers.
Maybe she just wants to share the bond of having a child with this man. Is there something wrong with wanting to have a child with someone you love?
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Pucks
Vernon Canada
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 5:37 PM CST
Nope, there isnt, did i say that?

Just suprised me is all. She choose to have her tubes tied. To go thru having them untied just seems weird to me is all.
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Jose13
Azángaro, Puno Peru
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 5:38 PM CST
In response to:
i am just curious if its only happen in EAST or all women think in such way tht if they have kids they have more secure life in their hands..as i asked on lady why she birth a third child if she has already two..she replied i am abit more satisfied now and just feel more security tht my husband will always be with me bcoz of kids So do u think you can have a better and more secure married life after having a child ? OR its just how the Eastern women think
In my country it is the same Asianboy, though this is relative in the end. AS for me, a woman would be insecure by our having children because children just make me go crazy. Some women should think that having children is not the only way to express themselves as women...
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Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 5:41 PM CST
In response to:
Nope, there isnt, did i say that?

Just suprised me is all. She choose to have her tubes tied. To go thru having them untied just seems weird to me is all.
Well maybe he wants a child and she loves him enought o do that for him?
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Pucks
Vernon Canada
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 5:42 PM CST
Lionhearted, could be.

Her fiance has never had kids and never been married. So, i am sure this both is playing a role. All the power to them. Wish them the best.
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TabooN
Claremont USA
Posted: Jan 23, 2007, 5:43 PM CST
Having children is the most intense life experience, besides death,I feel.
I'm talking outside marriage at this point. We love them so much, and give them unconditional life. All of ourselves goes into this life long decision, so why would it seem odd for a woman to feel lost with them gone?

I always feel it when mine aren't here. Like an identity crisis, lol.

I can't say for any other, but when we did decide to have kids, it was thought out way ahead of time...I knew what I'd have, and in what order...
Two people creating life? Well...
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LOLjuzme
instate, Washington USA
Posted: Jan 24, 2007, 8:44 AM CST
In response to:
Having children is the most intense life experience, besides death,I feel.
I'm talking outside marriage at this point. We love them so much, and give them unconditional life. All of ourselves goes into this life long decision, so why would it seem odd for a woman to feel lost with them gone?

I always feel it when mine aren't here. Like an identity crisis, lol.

I can't say for any other, but when we did decide to have kids, it was thought out way ahead of time...I knew what I'd have, and in what order...
Two people creating life? Well...
"so why would it seem odd for a woman to feel lost with them gone?"

Can't miss what you don't know.
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Adrean
Posted: Jan 24, 2007, 8:47 AM CST
In response to:
Nope, there isnt, did i say that?

Just suprised me is all. She choose to have her tubes tied. To go thru having them untied just seems weird to me is all.
cuz your feminine brain has no reason so you should understand very well being the feminine man that you are pukes I mean puck
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lillyrose67
eau claire USA
Posted: Apr 1, 2007, 7:12 PM CST
In response to:
i am just curious if its only happen in EAST or all women think in such way tht if they have kids they have more secure life in their hands..as i asked on lady why she birth a third child if she has already two..she replied i am abit more satisfied now and just feel more security tht my husband will always be with me bcoz of kids So do u think you can have a better and more secure married life after having a child ? OR its just how the Eastern women think
I have 2 teenage boys, Shane is going to be 18 this month and my baby is 16...I never thought of my boys as security...I rasied them by myself. their father had nothing to do with them...and for women to think that having childern will secure them, in this day and age I feel sorry for women who have kid after kid trying to hold on to a man, I always say "I can do bad by myself"....and "I can do good all by myself"...
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mel39
Salem, Oregon USA
Posted: Apr 1, 2007, 8:55 PM CST
I definately do not think that having children makes you more secure in a relationship, children are wonderful and amazing, but honestly they make a relationship a bit harder, they take up so much of your attention and time, and when they are newborn it is easy to lose focus of each other. I think it's an amazing experience to have with another person, but security, no way. I have 3 children and am divorced, I probably could've used my children to guilt my husband into staying, but who wants to stay with someone who doesn't want to be with you?? I'm not sure why any woman would want to be with a man who wants to go somewhere else, if you feel like you have to make your relationship with him more secure by having a child with him, then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship with him in the first place. On the other hand, I totally agree, that someone could love someone enough that they might want to have a child with them when before they may have thought they were done having kids.
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