Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

I suffer from derpession and there is not a day that goes by that don't struggle with the idea! I have had little to no success with meds! What burns my ass is the people out there that have no clue what it's like to live in my world. I get comments all the time about how I just need to pull myself up, or the best one is " just cheer up and get over it"! It's not the fact that I feel it's selfish I were to go through with it that stops me....it's the hope that maybe one day I can wake up one morning and live a normal life like the rest of you! But until you have walked a mile in my shoes....how dare you say it's selfish! The intensity of feeling so alone, and the heaviness of the darkness that is my life, death sometimes seems so much more peaceful. I wish I was better at expressing myself in threads like this...so I could really get across whats it's like to live like this for those of you who do not understand!

I will end on this......I do feel for the families who are left behind with the burden of finacial sufferings. eg the father who left his wife and 8 children> I am sorry for you!

So go ahead and start ragging on me how it's not right! (whatever)

I suffer from derpession and there is not a day that goes by that don't struggle with the idea! I have had little to no success with meds! What burns my ass is the people out there that have no clue what it's like to live in my world. I get comments all the time about how I just need to pull myself up, or the best one is " just cheer up and get over it"! It's not the fact that I feel it's selfish I were to go through with it that stops me....it's the hope that maybe one day I can wake up one morning and live a normal life like the rest of you! But until you have walked a mile in my shoes....how dare you say it's selfish! The intensity of feeling so alone, and the heaviness of the darkness that is my life, death sometimes seems so much more peaceful. I wish I was better at expressing myself in threads like this...so I could really get across whats it's like to live like this for those of you who do not understand!

I will end on this......I do feel for the families who are left behind with the burden of finacial sufferings. eg the father who left his wife and 8 children> I am sorry for you!

So go ahead and start ragging on me how it's not right! (whatever)

Personally , I think suicide is a "cowards" way out .. Some people always take the easy way out of everything ... You say you're wiccan ; so I'm sure you aren't interested in what the Bible says about suicide ; but maybe there are others who might be interested in what God thinks of suicide .. The Bible says that suicide is an unforgivable sin ... Our lives aren't our own , to take . We belong to God . The Bible says God will not put more of a burden on us , than we are capable of carrying . So maybe , if suicidal people would stop wallowing in their misery and pain ; and have more faith in the Lord and ask him for help ; maybe things would be different for them . Look at what Jesus suffered for us . He even asked His Father (in heaven) , that if it were possible , to let this cup of suffering be lifted from him ... BUT , he added " Not my will Father, but "your" will be done...

My ( and mine alone) theory ; is that our lives are a big "test" , just like any test we took in school ... How good we do on this test will detemine our status in heaven . So do you want to pass this test that God is giving us ; or do you want to be a drop out , and suffer the consequences .... And one other thing . Whether we know it or not ; our lives touch lots of other peoples lives . What effect would taking your life have on others ... Maybe someone seeing your strength and courage in dealing with a bad situation , just might give them the strenth and courage to stand up to their own problems ; and defeat them ..

MM

This is copied and pasted of mine from the earlier one:

Suicide is the most selfish thing you can do.
Its a permanate solution to a temporary problem.
Its the worst thing you can do to your family. To your mother, who raised you, kept you safe, and tucked you in. To all your friends it is showing them how much you really don't care about any of them.

Dear MountianMan,

Obviously you have never had to deal with depression in yourself or others or you would not be spouting religous guidelines and rules. As someone who has read the bible 3 times, raised Luthern and has also delt with depression in myself and most of my family I have a well rounded perspective of the religous aspects regarding suicide.

The thing you forget in your hardlined additude is that depression is a legitamate medical condition. It has nothing to do with religion, faith, how good a person is, background or monitary status. It can hit anyone and at any age. Most the time it is hereditary as in my case. Religion, for me and my family, just made it worse because of the UNforgiving and Unyeilding additudes of the church in a no tolerance stance of "Snap out of it" or "quite being selfish".

You say "Look at what Jesus suffered for us"? What does that have to do with the true suffering of someone right now dealing with HUGE life issues and feelings. NOTHING.

I control my depression with medication, family, friends, counceling and changing my religion to Wicca. Wicca is finaly just as accepted as a true religous guideline as Christianity based on the Bible writen by a bunch of stodgy old dudes with arcaic ideas on life and how to live it.

I could go on because your post PO'd me off to no end. Good luck and hope your god is as forgiving of human mistakes as mine is.

Blessed be,

Yaoigirl

I decided instead of debating in the other suicide thread which should be reserved for prayers and sympathy it might be a good idea to do it here. NOT TRYING to be rude to anyone... its just out of respect for the departed.

Anyways... here's my thoughts.. and some of you may be angry with me. Some, in fact most people say that suicide is one of the most selfish things to do. I honestly think it is just as selfish for the friends and family to make their loved one promise that they won't. That doesn't mean I think suicide is the way to go... on the contrary. ALLOW me to explain the past first though.

I just turned 30 today... I was suisidal for more than 20 years, starting at about age seven. My mother tried to kill herself at 10. My father attempted suicide as an adult. My Dad was in the mental hospital throughout my entire childhood. Mom was a severely abused child growing up, and while I won't go into the details that was why she tried to kill herself.

Anyways, yes at seven I was suicidal... holding butcher knives to myself, wanting to slash my wrists and trying to smother myself. I won't go into the details of why, just know that I was wrapped DEEP in sorrow. In a way I was in love with Death. And if you've never been there, Death can be a very inviting companion. Sorrow is like a drug, the more you surround yourself in it, the more you want it. You come to depend on it. And I can tell you that many a time I promised Mom, Dad, and friends I wouldn't commit suicide, and I kept my promise. BUT I was swimming in misery and did not know how to get out... wasn't sure WHAT happiness was because I'd never experienced it, so I wansn't sure that I had wanted it. And NO ONE-- Would offer to help me find it. They wanted me to stick around, to live so they themselves wouldn't miss me, but they wouldn't offer to help me to get better. Why not?? Living a life with no happiness or cheer or laughter or smiles is VERY DIFFICULT.. but everyone expexted me to live it, and I did.

Three years ago changed all of that. I decided that I would try for myself to get better, and started therapy and Psychiatry, and have worked the suicidal tendencies out (still working on other issues). I found my chosen religion (Wicca) and THAT really gave me the will to live.

Why am I sharing all of this?? Not to change your mind-- because everyone is entitled to think, and to feel, however they wish. But I just wanted to tell everyone the other side of the story. Suicide may not be the answer... but try telling that to someone who lives in complete sorrow. They are not going to see that. Try telling them to take things in baby steps. Offer to be there for them. They might not accept your help, but they WILL know that SOMEONE is there for them-- and THAT will give them the will to live.

Life sucks... BUT it doesn't suck all of the time. It took me almost 30 years to learn that-- to learn that in Life there are happy times. Just give someone the chance to realize that too. Help them see it.

I decided instead of debating in the other suicide thread which should be reserved for prayers and sympathy it might be a good idea to do it here. NOT TRYING to be rude to anyone... its just out of respect for the departed.

Anyways... here's my thoughts.. and some of you may be angry with me. Some, in fact most people say that suicide is one of the most selfish things to do. I honestly think it is just as selfish for the friends and family to make their loved one promise that they won't. That doesn't mean I think suicide is the way to go... on the contrary. ALLOW me to explain the past first though.

I just turned 30 today... I was suisidal for more than 20 years, starting at about age seven. My mother tried to kill herself at 10. My father attempted suicide as an adult. My Dad was in the mental hospital throughout my entire childhood. Mom was a severely abused child growing up, and while I won't go into the details that was why she tried to kill herself.

Anyways, yes at seven I was suicidal... holding butcher knives to myself, wanting to slash my wrists and trying to smother myself. I won't go into the details of why, just know that I was wrapped DEEP in sorrow. In a way I was in love with Death. And if you've never been there, Death can be a very inviting companion. Sorrow is like a drug, the more you surround yourself in it, the more you want it. You come to depend on it. And I can tell you that many a time I promised Mom, Dad, and friends I wouldn't commit suicide, and I kept my promise. BUT I was swimming in misery and did not know how to get out... wasn't sure WHAT happiness was because I'd never experienced it, so I wansn't sure that I had wanted it. And NO ONE-- Would offer to help me find it. They wanted me to stick around, to live so they themselves wouldn't miss me, but they wouldn't offer to help me to get better. Why not?? Living a life with no happiness or cheer or laughter or smiles is VERY DIFFICULT.. but everyone expexted me to live it, and I did.

Three years ago changed all of that. I decided that I would try for myself to get better, and started therapy and Psychiatry, and have worked the suicidal tendencies out (still working on other issues). I found my chosen religion (Wicca) and THAT really gave me the will to live.

Why am I sharing all of this?? Not to change your mind-- because everyone is entitled to think, and to feel, however they wish. But I just wanted to tell everyone the other side of the story. Suicide may not be the answer... but try telling that to someone who lives in complete sorrow. They are not going to see that. Try telling them to take things in baby steps. Offer to be there for them. They might not accept your help, but they WILL know that SOMEONE is there for them-- and THAT will give them the will to live.

Life sucks... BUT it doesn't suck all of the time. It took me almost 30 years to learn that-- to learn that in Life there are happy times. Just give someone the chance to realize that too. Help them see it.