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dont get me onto AMERICIANS please
and their education.......

I decided instead of debating in the other suicide thread which should be reserved for prayers and sympathy it might be a good idea to do it here. NOT TRYING to be rude to anyone... its just out of respect for the departed.

Anyways... here's my thoughts.. and some of you may be angry with me. Some, in fact most people say that suicide is one of the most selfish things to do. I honestly think it is just as selfish for the friends and family to make their loved one promise that they won't. That doesn't mean I think suicide is the way to go... on the contrary. ALLOW me to explain the past first though.

I just turned 30 today... I was suisidal for more than 20 years, starting at about age seven. My mother tried to kill herself at 10. My father attempted suicide as an adult. My Dad was in the mental hospital throughout my entire childhood. Mom was a severely abused child growing up, and while I won't go into the details that was why she tried to kill herself.

Anyways, yes at seven I was suicidal... holding butcher knives to myself, wanting to slash my wrists and trying to smother myself. I won't go into the details of why, just know that I was wrapped DEEP in sorrow. In a way I was in love with Death. And if you've never been there, Death can be a very inviting companion. Sorrow is like a drug, the more you surround yourself in it, the more you want it. You come to depend on it. And I can tell you that many a time I promised Mom, Dad, and friends I wouldn't commit suicide, and I kept my promise. BUT I was swimming in misery and did not know how to get out... wasn't sure WHAT happiness was because I'd never experienced it, so I wansn't sure that I had wanted it. And NO ONE-- Would offer to help me find it. They wanted me to stick around, to live so they themselves wouldn't miss me, but they wouldn't offer to help me to get better. Why not?? Living a life with no happiness or cheer or laughter or smiles is VERY DIFFICULT.. but everyone expexted me to live it, and I did.

Three years ago changed all of that. I decided that I would try for myself to get better, and started therapy and Psychiatry, and have worked the suicidal tendencies out (still working on other issues). I found my chosen religion (Wicca) and THAT really gave me the will to live.

Why am I sharing all of this?? Not to change your mind-- because everyone is entitled to think, and to feel, however they wish. But I just wanted to tell everyone the other side of the story. Suicide may not be the answer... but try telling that to someone who lives in complete sorrow. They are not going to see that. Try telling them to take things in baby steps. Offer to be there for them. They might not accept your help, but they WILL know that SOMEONE is there for them-- and THAT will give them the will to live.

Life sucks... BUT it doesn't suck all of the time. It took me almost 30 years to learn that-- to learn that in Life there are happy times. Just give someone the chance to realize that too. Help them see it.

I suffer from derpession and there is not a day that goes by that don't struggle with the idea! I have had little to no success with meds! What burns my ass is the people out there that have no clue what it's like to live in my world. I get comments all the time about how I just need to pull myself up, or the best one is " just cheer up and get over it"! It's not the fact that I feel it's selfish I were to go through with it that stops me....it's the hope that maybe one day I can wake up one morning and live a normal life like the rest of you! But until you have walked a mile in my shoes....how dare you say it's selfish! The intensity of feeling so alone, and the heaviness of the darkness that is my life, death sometimes seems so much more peaceful. I wish I was better at expressing myself in threads like this...so I could really get across whats it's like to live like this for those of you who do not understand!

I will end on this......I do feel for the families who are left behind with the burden of finacial sufferings. eg the father who left his wife and 8 children> I am sorry for you!

So go ahead and start ragging on me how it's not right! (whatever)

MountainMan:

No where in the bible does it say suicide is the unforgivable sin. Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is. I will comment that suicide shows a lack of faith in more than one way. Hence, I would never say someone can commit suicide and be saved, but I would not chose to say they would not, as only the Lord judges.


Yaoigirl:
Reading the bible 3x does not give one faith. And yes, faith DOES save!


It is amazing to me how few are aware of the principalities and powers of the dark. I am living proof that faith saves! And before you go saying I haven't been there, be careful. I was suicidal for MANY years. I was considered bipoloar and depressed, but I am no longer. I only did meds for short times. The final time was when I was married. I couldn't stand the idea of continuing in my marriage. The Lord came and spoke to me, and showed me things in my life. It was at that time that my faith began to be restored. I will not look back nor go back to those days. I was guilty myself for believing the demonic lies. Yes, demons DO really whisper in your ear and tell you lies in first person to make you believe it.

So, before some of you go saying that you "have not been there" I say MANY have been there and overcome. It is through programmed thinking that we get to the point that we feel we cannot go on. I have survived and am thankfull for that. However my ex-husband and brother have not been so lucky. And my ex-husband (husband at the time) mocked me saying he "would NEVER do that"

As to the man that spoke of his whole family being suidicidal, that is a generational curse that needs to be broken.

Back to the "chemical imbalance" aspect, if you are ruled by negative emotions I am sure it shows in the brain, just as laughter, joy and happiness. We are composed of genetically complex matters and can't assume that the brain is seperate from the body. Just as if you stub your toe it relays to your brain that your toe hurts; otherwise you wouldn't know it hurts.

On a final note, religion won't save, man is often wrong. If you want truth and want to be set free, Ask for the truth and the wisdom to know the truth; it's as simple as that.

To all of you suffering: Hang in there and fight the good fight! You are worth it!

I decided instead of debating in the other suicide thread which should be reserved for prayers and sympathy it might be a good idea to do it here. NOT TRYING to be rude to anyone... its just out of respect for the departed.

Anyways... here's my thoughts.. and some of you may be angry with me. Some, in fact most people say that suicide is one of the most selfish things to do. I honestly think it is just as selfish for the friends and family to make their loved one promise that they won't. That doesn't mean I think suicide is the way to go... on the contrary. ALLOW me to explain the past first though.

I just turned 30 today... I was suisidal for more than 20 years, starting at about age seven. My mother tried to kill herself at 10. My father attempted suicide as an adult. My Dad was in the mental hospital throughout my entire childhood. Mom was a severely abused child growing up, and while I won't go into the details that was why she tried to kill herself.

Anyways, yes at seven I was suicidal... holding butcher knives to myself, wanting to slash my wrists and trying to smother myself. I won't go into the details of why, just know that I was wrapped DEEP in sorrow. In a way I was in love with Death. And if you've never been there, Death can be a very inviting companion. Sorrow is like a drug, the more you surround yourself in it, the more you want it. You come to depend on it. And I can tell you that many a time I promised Mom, Dad, and friends I wouldn't commit suicide, and I kept my promise. BUT I was swimming in misery and did not know how to get out... wasn't sure WHAT happiness was because I'd never experienced it, so I wansn't sure that I had wanted it. And NO ONE-- Would offer to help me find it. They wanted me to stick around, to live so they themselves wouldn't miss me, but they wouldn't offer to help me to get better. Why not?? Living a life with no happiness or cheer or laughter or smiles is VERY DIFFICULT.. but everyone expexted me to live it, and I did.

Three years ago changed all of that. I decided that I would try for myself to get better, and started therapy and Psychiatry, and have worked the suicidal tendencies out (still working on other issues). I found my chosen religion (Wicca) and THAT really gave me the will to live.

Why am I sharing all of this?? Not to change your mind-- because everyone is entitled to think, and to feel, however they wish. But I just wanted to tell everyone the other side of the story. Suicide may not be the answer... but try telling that to someone who lives in complete sorrow. They are not going to see that. Try telling them to take things in baby steps. Offer to be there for them. They might not accept your help, but they WILL know that SOMEONE is there for them-- and THAT will give them the will to live.

Life sucks... BUT it doesn't suck all of the time. It took me almost 30 years to learn that-- to learn that in Life there are happy times. Just give someone the chance to realize that too. Help them see it.