confused and embarrassed

guitarplayer00
Portland, Oregon USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 12:27 AM CST

In response to:

Ok...first of all I am a little tipsy right now but something happened tonight that has left me feeling odd.

I am the Catering manager at a bowling alley. It is the biggest in the state and we do huge extravagant partie...blah, blah, blah...I was hired 2 months ago and I absolutely LOVE my job. I have one person (so I thought) above me and that is the alley manager. Through the weeks, I have seen another guy come and go. I finally asked who it was and found out ...was the owner. I was also told ...is married AND has a steady girlfriend.

Tonight I bowled in my regular Tuesday night league. I bowled like crap and decided to have a few drinks to drown away my misery. ..was in the bar drinking also. We have NEVER exchanged 2 words so I thought nothing of it. His girlfriend was also there....well then he started hitting on me. He told me he wanted to get me naked, sleep with me, and as we were leaving said his girlfriend was pissed because he told her he wanted to take me home. Everytime he would make an advance, I would laugh it off and go to the other side of the room. I understand he was VERY drunk. He has always acted extremely professional at work. I have no idea how to face him Thursday when I go in. I am embarrassed and uncomfortable. I realize it MAY be sexual harrassment in the worklace but I am not going to take it there. What in the hell do I do? I want my job.

You have nothing to be embarassed about ,, uncomfortable I can understand. He is sooo out of line. If it does happen in the workplace please dont allow him to get away with it. I think he will remember exactly what he said and did,, I just dont think people, even drunk would be able to forget something like that. anyway it pisses me off and I spit on him. I have been here and read your words and think you are very nice. sorry to hear you are subject to this type,,,,,maybe if you are in the bowling alley once more you can drop the ball on his foot.....acccidently???
Bettis
;-}

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

bl8ant
Amsterdam Netherlands

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 12:34 AM CST

In response to:

You have nothing to be embarassed about ,, uncomfortable I can understand. He is sooo out of line. If it does happen in the workplace please dont allow him to get away with it. I think he will remember exactly what he said and did,, I just dont think people, even drunk would be able to forget something like that. anyway it pisses me off and I spit on him. I have been here and read your words and think you are very nice. sorry to hear you are subject to this type,,,,,maybe if you are in the bowling alley once more you can drop the ball on his foot.....acccidently???
Bettis
;-}

of course he remembers and this is just the beginning....

start a report and press charges after the 3rd act of harrassment.... win a bunch of money and run away off into the sunset

the american dream rewritten

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

Jess642
Agnes Water Australia

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 12:38 AM CST

If your personal integrity is compromised by this man's actions whilst drunk, but you do not feel physically threatened by him, is it possible to have a meeting with him, in the office, and suggest that his bahaviour was offensive to you, and that it would be appreciated by you, if he did not repeat his behaviours?

Perhaps suggest you enjoy your work there and you are comfortable, (if you are).... for it to be forgotten as long as it is not repeated.

He showed you no respect in his behaviour, either as a woman, or a staff member.

For me personally, I would drag his arse through the courts. I am not you, and so can only suggest ways for you to manage this situation that may make you feel empowered again.

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

bl8ant
Amsterdam Netherlands

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 12:39 AM CST

In response to:

If your personal integrity is compromised by this man's actions whilst drunk, but you do not feel physically threatened by him, is it possible to have a meeting with him, in the office, and suggest that his bahaviour was offensive to you, and that it would be appreciated by you, if he did not repeat his behaviours?

Perhaps suggest you enjoy your work there and you are comfortable, (if you are).... for it to be forgotten as long as it is not repeated.

He showed you no respect in his behaviour, either as a woman, or a staff member.

For me personally, I would drag his arse through the courts. I am not you, and so can only suggest ways for you to manage this situation that may make you feel empowered again.

i just like you more and more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

git em!!!!!

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

beachfarmer
La Jolla USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 12:48 AM CST

Invite him over.....

to meet his wife.

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

guitarplayer00
Portland, Oregon USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 12:52 AM CST

In response to:

If your personal integrity is compromised by this man's actions whilst drunk, but you do not feel physically threatened by him, is it possible to have a meeting with him, in the office, and suggest that his bahaviour was offensive to you, and that it would be appreciated by you, if he did not repeat his behaviours?

Perhaps suggest you enjoy your work there and you are comfortable, (if you are).... for it to be forgotten as long as it is not repeated.

He showed you no respect in his behaviour, either as a woman, or a staff member.

For me personally, I would drag his arse through the courts. I am not you, and so can only suggest ways for you to manage this situation that may make you feel empowered again.

;-}

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

LOLjuzme
instate, Washington USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 10:45 AM CST

I agree that the boss should be the one who is embarrassed. Not only did he act like an idiot, he got turned down LOL And if you are wondering what to say to him, I would be wondering what his girlfriend had to say LOL And to hell with those who want to act like you did anything wrong. Sounds to me like you WERE trying to avoid it.
I also think it may be fair to assume that he won't remember much of it.
I would just go to work, and laugh at him, LOUDLY, if anything about the previous night ever came up. I would say something like, "Geez were you in rare form!" Yep, bounce that embarrassment right back where it really belongs. And humor will smooth things over a lot better than harshness.
Also wondering if you see this girlfriend around much. If so, you may want to start the joking with her. Nobody needs hassles with an needlessly jealous boss's girlfriend.

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

bobby7
Mission Canada

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 10:53 AM CST

In response to:

Just tell him...my boyfriend the butcher said if you hit on me again...you're going to be Thursdays special.

Ouch..We have the Picton trial going on..That hit close to home..

Stacey..Let it pass, this time, and chalk it up to booze..If it happens again; Go for the groin!!

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

LOLjuzme
instate, Washington USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 10:59 AM CST

In response to:

Ouch..We have the Picton trial going on..That hit close to home..

Stacey..Let it pass, this time, and chalk it up to booze..If it happens again; Go for the groin!!

LOL I will admit to saying to one supervisor who got out of line, (I was only 14, lying about my age to get the job, and this guy was well into his 30s) "Well, when my boyfriend gets here we can ask him. He should know, being a cop and all. And he is off suspension from that little incident now." Yes, was a complete lie, but it worked LOL

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

fireliter
Allen Park, Michigan USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 11:04 AM CST

he told his wife!!! well i wonder what shes thinking about it.

lets see he might forget, but will she???

do you know anything about those that work your position B4 you?? why they left ( real reasons)

Owners wife sees and hears owner making ass of self to the hire help.. someone that needs and want to keep the job..

just from what i read,
forget about the owner he's a "instant asshole"...

the wife yeah thats probably the one that'll get you sent to the curb...

i remember i rented an upper loft and the wife was all happy until the neighbor said she the tennet was a topless dancer....yep wife said screw the money shes gotta go....

but that was 10 years ago, married women don't act that way now.

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

wikked
Ajax, Ontario Canada

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 11:30 AM CST

In response to:

i just like you more and more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

git em!!!!!

Just want to play devils advocate here for a second....so bear with me...

Stacey admits she was "tipsy" as well...what if he turns the tables on her and says in her "drunken" state she was the one coming on to him...and he reciprocated....

Stacey I am in no way saying this happened...i am just posing another view of the same question...you must know how these things get turned around....

I have no real good advice for you...has happened to me more times than i care to count...and i wasn't even drinking then....

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

Burningbluesoul
manchester, New Hampshire USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 11:44 AM CST

Being in the restaurant business I hang out with a lot of the people i supervise and have had more than one situation that I could have taken advantage but i have SELF CONTROL and need to use it in my position. Sounds like your boss is a complete meatstick. A seruos discussion in a sober setting where you can have your say and clearly set your boundries and a very stern warning to him if you like where you work....If not bleed the slimeball dry!

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

nostres59840
Missoula, Montana USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 12:11 PM CST

In response to:

agreed...and go apply for the biggest competitor

I have to agree, too! He did not just act reprehensibly, but involved a third part - his girlfriend. It was not just between the two of you, he did it on "his territory" and pursued even when you were not interested. Drinking is not an excuse = it does not change who the person is or capable of = just makes it easier for them to do so. Lay it out calmly, keep notes on what happened and what you said to him and what he said in return... if you wish to stay and it happens again - slam it down his throat.

BTDT - Janet

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

PeepingTomGirl
Hampton, Virginia USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 5:43 PM CST

Thank you all for your advice. I feel better about things today. I was just a bit freaked out yesterday because it was unexpected. I am going to chalk it up to booze...(this time.) If it happens again, we will have a problem. I am also not going to drink there anymore even if it is on my day off. Although I wasn't drunk by far, I dont want to set myself up for any other similar situations.

Thanks again....

to all and no more

for me.

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

Mike1162
Over the Rainbow, Pennsylvania USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 6:11 PM CST

In response to:

Ok...first of all I am a little tipsy right now but something happened tonight that has left me feeling odd.

I am the Catering manager at a bowling alley. It is the biggest in the state and we do huge extravagant partie...blah, blah, blah...I was hired 2 months ago and I absolutely LOVE my job. I have one person (so I thought) above me and that is the alley manager. Through the weeks, I have seen another guy come and go. I finally asked who it was and found out ...was the owner. I was also told ...is married AND has a steady girlfriend.

Tonight I bowled in my regular Tuesday night league. I bowled like crap and decided to have a few drinks to drown away my misery. ..was in the bar drinking also. We have NEVER exchanged 2 words so I thought nothing of it. His girlfriend was also there....well then he started hitting on me. He told me he wanted to get me naked, sleep with me, and as we were leaving said his girlfriend was pissed because he told her he wanted to take me home. Everytime he would make an advance, I would laugh it off and go to the other side of the room. I understand he was VERY drunk. He has always acted extremely professional at work. I have no idea how to face him Thursday when I go in. I am embarrassed and uncomfortable. I realize it MAY be sexual harrassment in the worklace but I am not going to take it there. What in the hell do I do? I want my job.

When the time is right while on the job look him in the eyes and say:

I did not appreciate that conversation, and it will "not" happen again.

Don't allow him to have any control over you Stacy.

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

Westdeck
Amsterdam, Noord-Holland Netherlands

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 7:15 PM CST

In response to:

Ok...first of all I am a little tipsy right now but something happened tonight that has left me feeling odd.

I am the Catering manager at a bowling alley. It is the biggest in the state and we do huge extravagant partie...blah, blah, blah...I was hired 2 months ago and I absolutely LOVE my job. I have one person (so I thought) above me and that is the alley manager. Through the weeks, I have seen another guy come and go. I finally asked who it was and found out ...was the owner. I was also told ...is married AND has a steady girlfriend.

Tonight I bowled in my regular Tuesday night league. I bowled like crap and decided to have a few drinks to drown away my misery. ..was in the bar drinking also. We have NEVER exchanged 2 words so I thought nothing of it. His girlfriend was also there....well then he started hitting on me. He told me he wanted to get me naked, sleep with me, and as we were leaving said his girlfriend was pissed because he told her he wanted to take me home. Everytime he would make an advance, I would laugh it off and go to the other side of the room. I understand he was VERY drunk. He has always acted extremely professional at work. I have no idea how to face him Thursday when I go in. I am embarrassed and uncomfortable. I realize it MAY be sexual harrassment in the worklace but I am not going to take it there. What in the hell do I do? I want my job.

I you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable it is sexual harrassment in the workplace...

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

VioladorDeLaLey
Bajo Un Sol Feliz USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 7:19 PM CST

Some people should not drink

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

freebird516
durango, Colorado USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 7:19 PM CST

Tell him you might consider it if he brings you written permission from his wife AND girlfriend...otherwise you wouldnt feel right about it. That should stop him in his tracks.

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

blancalatina
winston-salem USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 7:20 PM CST

In response to:

Ok...first of all I am a little tipsy right now but something happened tonight that has left me feeling odd.

I am the Catering manager at a bowling alley. It is the biggest in the state and we do huge extravagant partie...blah, blah, blah...I was hired 2 months ago and I absolutely LOVE my job. I have one person (so I thought) above me and that is the alley manager. Through the weeks, I have seen another guy come and go. I finally asked who it was and found out ...was the owner. I was also told ...is married AND has a steady girlfriend.

Tonight I bowled in my regular Tuesday night league. I bowled like crap and decided to have a few drinks to drown away my misery. ..was in the bar drinking also. We have NEVER exchanged 2 words so I thought nothing of it. His girlfriend was also there....well then he started hitting on me. He told me he wanted to get me naked, sleep with me, and as we were leaving said his girlfriend was pissed because he told her he wanted to take me home. Everytime he would make an advance, I would laugh it off and go to the other side of the room. I understand he was VERY drunk. He has always acted extremely professional at work. I have no idea how to face him Thursday when I go in. I am embarrassed and uncomfortable. I realize it MAY be sexual harrassment in the worklace but I am not going to take it there. What in the hell do I do? I want my job.

"May be" sexual harrassment? Uhhhh...legally it IS!

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

dazzling_dave
Waynesboro, Virginia USA

Posted: Jan 31, 2007, 7:23 PM CST

The dude has a wife AND a girlfriend. The booze had nothing to do with it.

Back to top

Is this post offensive? If so, Report this post »

Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

Forums Nav

Forums