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I hear alot of women (and some men) saying that them not getting into bed on the first date makes them "old fashioned" - and somehow "better" than the rest (my opinion only)...however natural instinct, need and hormones have not changed over time....just the views on it...

I don't necessarily think that women who choose to have sex on the first date are "immoral"...I see them more as women who are in control of what they want and need out of a relationship...and if the guy has "issues" with that...they move on...and why shouldn't they?

Do women really believe that if they want to have sex on the first date they immediately become "lesser" in that man's eyes?...and do men really truly believe that if she has sex with him on the first date then obviously she must be doing that with everyone else she meets??

I see why alot of folks would think this...

I feel if you connect with one... the time is good, and you are both adults willing to be responsible for your decision...

We aren't whores if we connect to some men. We are adults.

No, if folks think ignorantly, as children with viscious rumors do... then that says nore about them, than anything.

Women having sex doesn't = doing the whole neighborhood...

wow looking at from this perspective i can believe it was ths was not an issue sex on forst date did blossom into LTR's not all bu ton the same line of thought those where it was 4 or 5 dates did not al blossom inot LTR's

course i am, using the math formula LTR equals 1 year or longer...

has that been changed???


how much time equals LTR????

Thanks for understanding what i'm trying to say here Taboon...

If a woman doesn't want to have sex on the first date...then so be it...but they attach "old-fashioned" to it as if somehow that makes them a step above the others....

When I refer to myself as old fashioned, I am mostly referring to the fact that I prefer to cook with wooden spoons, still know how to darn a sock, ...LOL As far as sex goes, I guess I am just considered old fashioned for not having sex on the first date because so many others consider it acceptable, but I am just not even remotely comfortable with the idea. If I did it, I would only feel I had shamed myself, not him. It just has to do with my value system, and I realize that my ideas are becoming more of a rarity. But no, I do not feel that this makes me "a step above others". I just wouldn't want to be with someone who had had an excessive amount of partners because of the realistic issues with disease these days (and sorry, bot sooooooooo many people will lie about ANYTHING that "the talk" isn't really all that truthful with some. I would also wonder WHY they had had so many partners. But like I said, I know that the way I think is becoming more and more rare. Some times I actually wish I could think like other people do, but I just can't. Who knows, maybe I am just too lazy to want to keep having to wash the sheets? LOL

I am in no way suggesting that deciding not having sex on the first date is wrong (or right for that matter)...what i do question is their motive behind this...is it genuine (as you said juzme..because its what you "value") or is it because they have somehow become brainwashed by the media and society at large....

Do they deny who and what they really are (and in that i mean their sexuality) because they think its "wrong" to succumb to natural urges??...do they "cover up" and "pretend"....that's what i guess i'm trying to get at...

Old fashioned is just fine in my book, they just better be giving it up by the second...L

Sure, some people could be brainwashed by what they were taught growing up, but me, the little rebell that I am, would probably be more likely to do the opposite of what I was taught LOL

I speak for no one but myself. For me,
"deny who they are"
No, I am what I am, and I am just can't feel that comfortable, much less trusting of someone I have just met. Not going to let myself be put in any risk, and sorry, but there are a whole lot of frickin freaks out there these days. Men I didn't know have literally picked me up and tried to carry me out of places. Maybe being a peewee (and the way "society" treats us) has something to do with my hesitation, more so than the media. LOL

"because they think its "wrong" to succumb to natural urges??..."

Uh, first you have to get those urges LOL I have to feel an emotional connection before I feel them. Never met a man that turned me on just by making me turn my head.

"do they "cover up" and "pretend"...."
LOL pretend? Hell no, why bother? Sorry, but I just found that really funny. The covering up, well, the guy across the street once told me, "I have never known any other woman with a bangin' bod that tried as hard as you do to hide it."
Now, keep in mind that he and his buddies go so far as to yell THANK YOU clear across the street if I so much as bend over to pluck a weed from the garden. That is what disgusted me so much that I started wearing huge shirts and overalls instead of cut offs and my bikini top. Some days you just don't want to get bugged. He has never seen me when I was dressing to go out hehehe

you are such an amazing woman!...you hit the proverbial nail on the head! great thread! hope you find your amazing connection soon!! "B"

Yeah I'm oldfashioned. I still hope that I can be friends first and have that grow into a romantic relationship. That takes time. However, on the other hand, if I met a guy that just knocked me over, I probably couldn't resist. H _ _ _ it's been too long

Well said, all agreed. Changing the sheets? Guess that’s assuming of course, that “us old boys” can still cut the mustard.

Affirmative in my case, I hope, notwithstanding these blessed e-mails from companies trying to sell me viagra at $10 a shot...lol

PS. You can darn my socks any day, what about that for an opening chat up line...

If I don't want to have sex with him on the first date, I highly doubt that there will be a second date!

Sorry, 70's chick here......

the basis for old fashioned

as related to this thread

is a root of all evil taboo

just another way to control human kind

those that have been here and know me understand

what the root of all evil is

just a thought

but hey what do i know

i rather skip the date and just do the deed but then I always eat my desert first..

Anachronistic, and brainwashed. On both sides of this issue as reflected by these issues. Wake up prople this is the Y2k+7! Just be truthfull about who you are and what your about, if a person wants that, then they won't move on. If they do, who's loss is it anyway? Not yours at all. And thats a good thing to be sure.

Brainwashed? Control? Root of all evil taboo? RFLMAO This is a joke, right? Somewhat hard to tell considering that a lot of men use this kind of argument to try to con women into bed (nope, never works on me, but I seriously do get a huge laugh out of some of the lies they tell, especially old "blue balls" )