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Well, I am sorry if you feel that I am giving "the same meaningless advice" but, as I say, I don't pander to what I feel I SHOULD say, but what I truly believe. And I speak from "ignorance"? As for believing my attitude makes me attractive...? Far from it, just as with anyone, I have no doubt that there are many elements of my personality/
character that makes me UNattractive to some, I am only human and I am only ME!! You cant please all the people all the time, eh?

As for the last sentence in your first paragraph.... I am lost, I have no idea what you mean??

Ok, my last sentence was: "After trying all the advice given here all I can manage to get after 20 years of solitude is "psycho bitch?!?""

The premise of the responses is along the lines of: Follow the advice and you'll you'll be judged attractive and you'll find someone you can share a life with.

Defining "psycho bitch": Look up Borderline Personality Disorder (and she was among those who is also Bipolar).

If the advice were true, I would have been deemed "attractive." The fact is apparently I'm not. It took 20 years to finally come across someone so desperate as to lower herself to being seen with me. And even then, she took every opportunity to remind me of that fact.

Touché

Your ok bud....looking good from where im standing......never mind......next.......

"The premise of the responses is along the lines of: Follow the advice and you'll you'll be judged attractive and you'll find someone you can share a life with". So you think there is a rule of thumb then, whether attitude or acceptance in receiving the advice? Of course not!! Not with regard to the advice, no! .... With regard to the attitude.... yes, I feel that holds the key!

Well, I am still a little confused re. the "psycho bitch" thing, but it would appear that, from what you have said, what you have experienced says a heck of a lot more about her than it does about you, my friend!

I would elaborate, there is so much more to tell you but.... I wouldn't want to run the risk of being sychophantic......!!

This is an old thread right? Isn't the bloke alright by now?

I didn't want to elaborate on what she said. Bottom line, though, they hit below the belt too close to home. No one is perfect, everyone has room to improve. But she as she pointed out my flaws she left no doubt that she felt that even at my best I'd never be a "contender." And you know what they say - if you hear something often enough, you start to believe it.

I now not only believe it, it's becoming more and more obvious how true her words are and have always been. She did me the "favor" of eliminating my blindness.

And here is where youth has its advantages. If you have no "history," it's not held against you. People believe that the younger you are the more potential you have - and the more worthwhile it is to take a chance on you. As you get older, the inability to list accomplishments is received as being either lazy or a failure. In either case, the judgement is that you're unworthy of being giving a chance to prove yourself.

There are worse things about me that I REALLY don't want to get into, but they are unfortunately relevant to my situation.

Damn! I hate it when someone bumps a thread.

It may be an old thread but as with lots of threads, the particular issue may have been resolved, but it still leaves much open to discussion? We can still elaborate and improve on what has gone before, surely? There have been threads months and months old that are coming back up........??

As for "I now not only believe it, it's becoming more and more obvious how true her words are and have always been. She did me the "favor" of eliminating my blindness.".... I truly believe you have a misguided and disjointed view of whether she was telling you this for your benefit or not, my friend!

And I think, deep down, you must wonder too? Be yourself and not guided by someone who clearly had another agenda?

Oh, I understand (and even at the time, understood) her agenda. It's the stereotypical "tear someone down to build yourself up" philosophy. She had REAL self-esteem issues. However, if someone says things that are true in order to hurt you does that make them any less true?

" I will stay out of that one... I will stay in one piece..."

No you are not.......you cannot have my job!!!!! I worked long and hard to get here!!!!!!! LMAO

That's what I ended up having to do to maintain my sanity. The trouble is that another reason she was doing it was because she craved attention. Ignoring her only made her crave it all the more.

GIVING her attention in a loving and caring way only provided her with the opportunity to criticize it - and I'm not talking sexually.

No, you are not ugly or worthless. She probably finds you too good for her to play games with. Some girls just want to have fun. You find that it will get better as you get older.

No you aren't ugly and anyone who places value on love, as obviously you do, is anything but worthless. Even Brad Pitt has had his heart broken before, it has a lot less to do with what you look like than what you might think...

Maybe she doesn't realize yet???

You are not ugly or worthless. I'm truly feeling bad for you. When the heartache is over (who am I trying to kid here) speaking for myself, you'll find someone else who will appreciate you for who and what you are.

In the meantime keep your head held high.

would love to hear the other side of the story, though. Since that is not likely. Really sorry for your loss. It can only get better. Someone has said"...tis better to have lost, that to have never loved at all"

hahah I read that and thought

Then thought about and thought actually.. yeah I think there might be something in that.

** that's better to have loved and lost than to never loved at sll


















And no, it wasn't Kurt Cobain!!!!!!!!