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are you here for love or friends?

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are you here for love or friends?

Ontario personals
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 9:10 PM CST
In response to:
whats my problem
You try to hard maybe!!!!!!!!!


laugh dunno D'oh! grin
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Long Island dating
mastic55
Long Island, New York USA
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 9:11 PM CST
In response to:
You try to hard maybe!!!!!!!!!


Maybe...now I"am not trying at all.
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Ontario personals
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 9:12 PM CST
In response to:
Maybe...now I"am not trying at all.
That's the way to be...I know that was me!!!!!!!!

laugh wink grin
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shipoker55
St. Petersburg, Florida USA
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 9:14 PM CST
In response to:
Why is it so very hard to admit, you are looking for love??? Though I do believe some people in here really are looking for friendship, I find it difficult to believe that so many people choose to sign up at a dating site with the intention to find friends. Furthermore I find it strange that you would go online to find friends. When I receive a flower or a message from someone claiming to be looking for "Friends/hang outs" only, I can't help but wander if she is socially disabled in some way. Also, could one of you guys claiming to be looking for friends first and foremost please be as kind as to tell me, why you take the time to describe what you are looking for in the opposite sex?? And perhaps tell me, why you don't go out IRL to find friends.

I've been signed up in here for more than 6 months, but have only been reading in the forums for a few weeks. I really don't mean to be judgemental or tell people how they should live their lives, but seriously.....some of you spend an amazingly large part of your life in here. By any standards that can't be healthy. Especially not if you are in lack of friends. I regard it a warning sign, when someone claims to have friends in here, which they've never met IRL. At least your definition of the word "friend" is very different from mine. Most of you living in the Western world would most likely find it very strange, if you saw somebody claiming to have a serious relationship with another person of the opposite in here, though they've never met. I don't really see the difference between that and claiming to have a friend in here, you've never met. Though I'm absolutely sure it'll make me very unpopular, my advice to a lot of you guys posting hundreds of postings in here each day, would be to turn off your computer and go out and meet people IRL. It's so much more fulfilling than spending time on virtual friends in here.

For those of you already in a relationship, who are truely looking for friends only, I'd like to mention, that I believe most people would be a bit frustrated if their better half is spending a lot of time on a singles dating site. Personally I would never accept it, if my girlfriend was spending a lot of spare time on a dating site, and I'm the kind of person who feel very secure in the realtionships I'm in, because otherwise I'm not in a relationship.

I'm sure a few of you might be wandering, why I'm signed up in here, and let me answer that on beforehand. First of all I'm sick of Scandinavian women. In general they are so full of them selves it makes me want to throw up. However I still go out a lot, and it doesn't stop me from trying to find someone to love and be loved by in Denmark. Secondly I travel a lot, and I don't see myself living in Denmark the rest of my life. Hence finding love outside the Danish borders could just happen to be the thing kicking me on my out of Denmark (just for the record, I love you Americans and your country, but I'd never ever want to live in the US permantly). Thirdly, I love to get the opportunity to know other cultures, and writing with people in here gives me a lot of insight as to what goes on in the heads of people around the world.

To me it seems that long posts rarely get read in the American forums - or at least rarely get commented upon, when they are from non US/Canadian members. I'd genuinely appreciate answers to my questions or just comments that'll help me understand, why you choose to join a dating site to find friends. Thanks in advance
Some of us came here looking for a partner in life...but have come to the realization that isn't likely to happen. So now we are looking for "friends", for lack of a better word!

As far as spending too much time here....that's not your call! I feel safer here chatting than going to a bar and getting drunk or be around drunks.

You said you haven't spent much time in the threads...but you didn't waste much time criticizing the people in it!!!

I realize that I will never meet a mate in these rooms, but what I do with my spare time....is my businessscold
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rwantin
Costa Mesa, California USA
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 9:19 PM CST
In response to:
Why is it so very hard to admit, you are looking for love??? Though I do believe some people in here really are looking for friendship, I find it difficult to believe that so many people choose to sign up at a dating site with the intention to find friends. Furthermore I find it strange that you would go online to find friends. When I receive a flower or a message from someone claiming to be looking for "Friends/hang outs" only, I can't help but wander if she is socially disabled in some way. Also, could one of you guys claiming to be looking for friends first and foremost please be as kind as to tell me, why you take the time to describe what you are looking for in the opposite sex?? And perhaps tell me, why you don't go out IRL to find friends.

I've been signed up in here for more than 6 months, but have only been reading in the forums for a few weeks. I really don't mean to be judgemental or tell people how they should live their lives, but seriously.....some of you spend an amazingly large part of your life in here. By any standards that can't be healthy. Especially not if you are in lack of friends. I regard it a warning sign, when someone claims to have friends in here, which they've never met IRL. At least your definition of the word "friend" is very different from mine. Most of you living in the Western world would most likely find it very strange, if you saw somebody claiming to have a serious relationship with another person of the opposite in here, though they've never met. I don't really see the difference between that and claiming to have a friend in here, you've never met. Though I'm absolutely sure it'll make me very unpopular, my advice to a lot of you guys posting hundreds of postings in here each day, would be to turn off your computer and go out and meet people IRL. It's so much more fulfilling than spending time on virtual friends in here.

For those of you already in a relationship, who are truely looking for friends only, I'd like to mention, that I believe most people would be a bit frustrated if their better half is spending a lot of time on a singles dating site. Personally I would never accept it, if my girlfriend was spending a lot of spare time on a dating site, and I'm the kind of person who feel very secure in the realtionships I'm in, because otherwise I'm not in a relationship.

I'm sure a few of you might be wandering, why I'm signed up in here, and let me answer that on beforehand. First of all I'm sick of Scandinavian women. In general they are so full of them selves it makes me want to throw up. However I still go out a lot, and it doesn't stop me from trying to find someone to love and be loved by in Denmark. Secondly I travel a lot, and I don't see myself living in Denmark the rest of my life. Hence finding love outside the Danish borders could just happen to be the thing kicking me on my out of Denmark (just for the record, I love you Americans and your country, but I'd never ever want to live in the US permantly). Thirdly, I love to get the opportunity to know other cultures, and writing with people in here gives me a lot of insight as to what goes on in the heads of people around the world.

To me it seems that long posts rarely get read in the American forums - or at least rarely get commented upon, when they are from non US/Canadian members. I'd genuinely appreciate answers to my questions or just comments that'll help me understand, why you choose to join a dating site to find friends. Thanks in advance
I an American, and I read this in its entirety (just so you know).

Am I looking for love? Certainly. Am I making friends along the way? You bet. I don't see this as a bad thing. There are some great people here. Will I find love? I don't know. Is this fun? Sure.

I spend a little time here in the mornings, and evenings. Should I get out more? Perhaps. But as densely populated as this area is, I find it rather impersonal.

I guess the best way to put it is I get a big kick out of this site.

Best of luck to you sir tip hat
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Oklahoma dating
HzChld
Somewhere in the middle, Oklahoma USA
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 9:21 PM CST
thumbs up
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coastalblues
toledo, Oregon USA
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 9:24 PM CST
In response to:
I an American, and I read this in its entirety (just so you know).

Am I looking for love? Certainly. Am I making friends along the way? You bet. I don't see this as a bad thing. There are some great people here. Will I find love? I don't know. Is this fun? Sure.

I spend a little time here in the mornings, and evenings. Should I get out more? Perhaps. But as densely populated as this area is, I find it rather impersonal.

I guess the best way to put it is I get a big kick out of this site.

Best of luck to you sir
id have to agree with you on that although in my area its a small town and the people here im afraid are married go to the bars everyday(not for me)are unfortunatly there is a lot of drug people here not a lot to choose from for friends or love
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Kobenhavn singles
LoveBrazilWomen
Copenhagen, Kobenhavn Denmark
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 9:29 PM CST
In response to:
Some of us came here looking for a partner in life...but have come to the realization that isn't likely to happen. So now we are looking for "friends", for lack of a better word!

As far as spending too much time here....that's not your call! I feel safer here chatting than going to a bar and getting drunk or be around drunks.

You said you haven't spent much time in the threads...but you didn't waste much time criticizing the people in it!!!

I realize that I will never meet a mate in these rooms, but what I do with my spare time....is my business
Well, you could regard it as criticism, but that was not my intention at all. Sorry if it came out that way. I'm not trying to get popular, but instead I say it as I see it. Though I try to avoid being rude or offending, I realize I might not be successful.

Actually I think you are spot on with your first comment. A lot of people come here with the intention to find love, but end up being disillusionated (if that is a word in the English language). That's a real shame, because finding love online is certainly not easy. In my opinion, this is exactly what's going wrong. If you stop believing and think it is not possible, you'll end up telling people you are here for friends even though that is actually not the case.

I understand that you don't fancy drunks.....but going out does not necessarily mean being with drunks. Perhaps it does where you live, but I don't always get drunk when going out, and I do meet a lot of women not drinking alcohol at all.

Thanks a lot for your comments!
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Kobenhavn singles
LoveBrazilWomen
Copenhagen, Kobenhavn Denmark
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 9:43 PM CST
In response to:
I an American, and I read this in its entirety (just so you know).

Am I looking for love? Certainly. Am I making friends along the way? You bet. I don't see this as a bad thing. There are some great people here. Will I find love? I don't know. Is this fun? Sure.

I spend a little time here in the mornings, and evenings. Should I get out more? Perhaps. But as densely populated as this area is, I find it rather impersonal.

I guess the best way to put it is I get a big kick out of this site.

Best of luck to you sir
First of all thanking you very much for commenting on my post and answering my questions. It's highly appreciated.

Sure you are making friends along the way to find love. I've done that myself both online and IRL. That does not change my intentions in any way. I'm spending time here to find love, and I'll never be pretending to be here for anything else. I just don't see the logic in going from hoping to find love to hoping to get friends. That's all.

As to whether you spend too much time in here, I really don't know and I'm not going to judge. Though I did have a few people in mind when writing about it, it was not meant for any single one in here. However you were actually not one of the people I was thinking about.
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Kobenhavn singles
LoveBrazilWomen
Copenhagen, Kobenhavn Denmark
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:02 PM CST
In response to:
There are a number of reasons people are here...They may have met their match on CS and they both still enjoy posting and have mutual friends here....They may be bored...Not have a chance to get out much and just looking for people to talk to....They may actually like you be looking for love because they can't find it where they are from...They may have been jilted so many times that they need a break from any sort of relationship with the exception of friendship!!!!!!!!

So there are many reasons...Not just one!!!!!!!!

Myself..I came here out of boredom not wanting a relationship cause I was sick of them and ended up meeting a man whom I just spent 9 lovely days with...So you see...Sometimes it doesn't matter why you are here...BUT what you are willing to open yourself up to!!!!!!

Good Luck to you!!!!!!!!!



Thanks for wishing me good luck.

I couldn't disagree more. It always matters why you are on an online dating site....I think. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with finding friends, but in general (not just in this regard) I think it is very important to everybody to think about the reason for doing, what they do. And life is hort. It is so crusial to prioritize the time we've been given and not being to random at what we spend time on.

Personally I would find other things to spend my time on than going to an online dating site, if I was bored. However I do accept and respect that some people find it giving in some way to come here and spend a lot of time here. I'm not saying it is wrong, but I'm just stating that perhaps it would be better for some of you to turn off the computer and go out and meet people IRL.

No matter what, your reply did give me some more insight as to what people might be thinking, and to what their intentions might be. Thanks!
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rwantin
Costa Mesa, California USA
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:09 PM CST
The name of the site is Connecting Singles - and I think it is aptly named, since there are indeed singles connecting and mingling. I find a lot of the insights here helpful, and for that matter, entertaining. professor

Maybe we need a site that is named: HotBabeWantsToBeYourWifeRightNow.com

cheers
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Kobenhavn singles
LoveBrazilWomen
Copenhagen, Kobenhavn Denmark
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:11 PM CST
Perhaps life is hort.....but I did mean short grin
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Kobenhavn singles
LoveBrazilWomen
Copenhagen, Kobenhavn Denmark
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:14 PM CST
In response to:
The name of the site is Connecting Singles - and I think it is aptly named, since there are indeed singles connecting and mingling. I find a lot of the insights here helpful, and for that matter, entertaining.

Maybe we need a site that is named: HotBabeWantsToBeYourWifeRightNow.com

rolling on the floor laughing

True...if you do find a hot babe site, please let me know grin

Beside the place being called connecting singles, the advertisement is "100 % free online dating"...personally I don't date my friends laugh
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Ontario personals
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:16 PM CST
In response to:
Thanks for wishing me good luck.

I couldn't disagree more. It always matters why you are on an online dating site....I think. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with finding friends, but in general (not just in this regard) I think it is very important to everybody to think about the reason for doing, what they do. And life is hort. It is so crusial to prioritize the time we've been given and not being to random at what we spend time on.

Personally I would find other things to spend my time on than going to an online dating site, if I was bored. However I do accept and respect that some people find it giving in some way to come here and spend a lot of time here. I'm not saying it is wrong, but I'm just stating that perhaps it would be better for some of you to turn off the computer and go out and meet people IRL.

No matter what, your reply did give me some more insight as to what people might be thinking, and to what their intentions might be. Thanks!
Well my boredom is after I have been out in RL doing the things I want to do...I work and do other things...BUT I just liked to come here to to mingle and take part in the forums...I never had a precept to being here and didn't intend to meet anyone...BUT my main point was I didn't close the door to meeting someone either...This is not my life but merely a place I like to come and laugh, play and see good friends and yes some of them I have met off-line!!!!!!!

conversing conversing
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rwantin
Costa Mesa, California USA
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:17 PM CST
In response to:


True...if you do find a hot babe site, please let me know

Beside the place being called connecting singles, the advertisement is "100 % free online dating"...personally I don't date my friends
Not having any luck with that site. Damn. grin

True, it does say free online dating, but it also says this above the forums:

Welcome to the Connecting Singles Forums! Start by introducing yourself to the group. This is a great place to discuss topics of interest to singles: dating, love, sex, travel, food, poetry, art, health/fitness, current events, entertainment. Meet new friends, and learn more about members you've seen in your searches.
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Alberta dating
kidatheart
Southern BC/Lamont, Alberta Canada
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:18 PM CST
In response to:
The name of the site is Connecting Singles - and I think it is aptly named, since there are indeed singles connecting and mingling. I find a lot of the insights here helpful, and for that matter, entertaining.

Maybe we need a site that is named: HotBabeWantsToBeYourWifeRightNow.com

Robert, you are an intelligent, articulate, caring and attractive young man! I think you'll do well here. There's no need for other somewhat questionable sites.

handshake wine
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rwantin
Costa Mesa, California USA
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:20 PM CST
In response to:
Robert, you are an intelligent, articulate, caring and attractive young man! I think you'll do well here. There's no need for other somewhat questionable sites.

handshake You're a good man Kid, glad to call you friend cheers

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Alberta dating
kidatheart
Southern BC/Lamont, Alberta Canada
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:31 PM CST
In response to:
You're a good man Kid, glad to call you friend

Thank you Roberthandshake

You can call me Harry.
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Kobenhavn singles
LoveBrazilWomen
Copenhagen, Kobenhavn Denmark
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:35 PM CST
In response to:
Well my boredom is after I have been out in RL doing the things I want to do...I work and do other things...BUT I just liked to come here to to mingle and take part in the forums...I never had a precept to being here and didn't intend to meet anyone...BUT my main point was I didn't close the door to meeting someone either...This is not my life but merely a place I like to come and laugh, play and see good friends and yes some of them I have met off-line!!!!!!!

Good for you. Don't get me wrong. I'm not claiming to know you guys or your lives. I'm not pretending to know, what makes you happy. I'm sure that most of you spending heaps of time in here also have a healthy offline life.

I do believe you are closing doors, when you officially tell people you are not looking for love, because most people in here looking for love will not give you much attention because of that. I understand it might be intentional, because you don't want to get in contact with people like me, but I never contact women looking for friendships only. I often get messages from women claiming to be looking for friendship even though I clearly state in my profile, that I'm here to find love. Actually I find that a bit offensive, because either they did not read my profile, or they just don't care about how I want to spend my time in here.
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Ontario personals
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Sep 15, 2007, 10:42 PM CST
In response to:
Good for you. Don't get me wrong. I'm not claiming to know you guys or your lives. I'm not pretending to know, what makes you happy. I'm sure that most of you spending heaps of time in here also have a healthy offline life.

I do believe you are closing doors, when you officially tell people you are not looking for love, because most people in here looking for love will not give you much attention because of that. I understand it might be intentional, because you don't want to get in contact with people like me, but I never contact women looking for friendships only. I often get messages from women claiming to be looking for friendship even though I clearly state in my profile, that I'm here to find love. Actually I find that a bit offensive, because either they did not read my profile, or they just don't care about how I want to spend my time in here.
Well sometimes the best way to start off love is with friendship...That's the way I look at it...The man I just met in person and I started off that way BUT we were both in the same place and it grew from there!!!!!!!

So while I don't feel I closed myself off...I feel you may be...By closing off any possibility regardless!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes what we may think we want and what takes up by surprise are 2 different things!!!!!!!!!



conversing conversing
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