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This girl i use to date kicked my ass to the curb when she found out she was pregnant and it was mine for sure this i know. She decided to have an abortion and i tried to do every thing i could to stop her from doing such a horrible thing! What eats me up is we were a great match never argued always got along had fun and so forth! Now we have been broken up for almost a year now and she will call and email me out of the blue.

Can some one please tell me what she is trying to tell me in this email below does she want me back or just wants someone to talk to. The fact is i really like this girl and would take her back but im afraid to because what she has done as mentioned above.

Any thoughts about this would be helpful to determine what i should do from here.

Thanks

Here is the email


Do you ever feel like your life is just at a stand still? Like it is going nowhere? Or like you are just setteling for something cause you dont think you can do any better? Well thats how I feel with my life right now. I dont even know if I know what true happiness is anymore. Most of my so called friends arent even true friends anymore. I am stuck at a job that I dont even enjoy going to anymore because of all the bs that goes on there and all the drama. I am in a relationship where all we do is fight or argue with each other and then never work anything out and on top of that we rarely do anything together as a couple anymore. And my relationship feels like it will never move to the next level, like there will be no marriage and then a family. I feel like I will never be able to travel and see the world, which is one of my dreams and goals in life. It just seems like everything I want out of life is slowly drifting away.

I know I shouldnt be bothering you with this stuff but I just needed to vent after getting into an argument with the bofriend I had to get things off my chest. We fight about the stupidest things ever, and all he ever wants to do is play his video games, I keep trying to get more into video games so we will have something in common but its just not wotking. Well I will not waste anymore of your time sorry for making you "listen" to all this.

Well for one thing, she feels GUILTY and is going to want your forgiveness at some point, but she has to be back in contact to do so!!

I am not sure, other than maybe she feels she can confide in you perhaps?

Let me ask you a question.........when you were together, she got pregnant by somebody else....right? Now she's in another relationship and writes you..........do you see a pattern here? It's called the "grass is greener on the other side of the fence" syndrome. (I just made that up) This is a girl that apparently has no self respect and thus, she can not have any respect for others in her life. Yes, I'm being judgmental, but I've seen this time and time again.

My best advice to you is to get over her...........she cheated on you once...it seems like she could cheat on her present boyfriend.............she will cheat on you again, if you were to get back with her......but.....this is purly, just my opinion...........

Didnt he say it was his child?? Crap...its been a long day over here.....

Oh hell.........yes, he did say that......sorry.....my bad......disregard my comment..........I need to go to bed..............

You beat me to it Ice Def the grass is greener on the other side. She's comparing the life she had with you, finding her new one lacking and trying to open the door again with you, without any thought of how all this will impact on you. She wrote the email for purely selfish reasons.

No i really dont think she cheated because we were together all the time and we had un protected sex so i really think the child would have been mine. This is i tend to think! but maybe it wasn't mine!!

He did say that.

My question is, why would you want somebody back that has no respect for you or your unborn child?

The biggest problem with abortion(religious views aside) is that the fathers' have no say so..cause it's the women's bodies.

Last time I checked it still takes 2 toget together to create..

I actually felt complete when i was with her! and I also told her to have the child and let me have it but like you said men dont have a say so and it really messed me up for awhile thats why im asking for some advice on this situation!

No.....I spoke out of turn....I misread your post about the baby.....but....on that note, it was very, very selfish of her to abort the child in which you should have had a say in.....that was wrong of her.

I still believe she doesn't have any self respect......and I think she just doesn't know what she wants....

I would still say to burn this bridge in your life and move on.....painful it might be....but that's how I see it......but then again, I'm old and set in my ways................

My question is Still, why would you want somebody back that has no respect for you or your unborn child?

If she truely loved you, she would have given you the child and would have never left. JMO

"Do you ever feel like your life is just at a stand still? Like it is going nowhere? Or like you are just setteling for something cause you dont think you can do any better? Well thats how I feel with my life right now. I dont even know if I know what true happiness is anymore. Most of my so called friends arent even true friends anymore. I am stuck at a job that I dont even enjoy going to anymore because of all the bs that goes on there and all the drama."

Boy, I have been there before and felt exactly like this part of her email. Honestly, she is in search of a friend. One whom will just be there for her and listen to her. She needs to make some changes in her life and she is the only one that can do it. (JMO)

look everything else aside lets just pick one line. "I feel like I will never Travel and see the world"

If this is one of her dreams then are you willing to help see it come to fruition. This will be a tripping stone for her and any relationship she has. Everytime things get bad she will say you stopped me from seeing the world.

The choice is yours with everything else. But don't do nothing with out several meetings of serious talking.

this is the first time i ever wrote in one of these but i know this situation all too well... this chick wants to feel wanted by someone, anyone really...and she knows the way she left things unfinished with you, chance are likely you will write/call her telling her the things she wants to hear...giving her the attention she craves...we ALL know how hard it is turning your back(which you really wouldnt be doing by not responding, but thats what it would feel like) on someone you once gave your entire heart too. she wants to hear you say how much better she deserves and on and on...your best bet would be to delete the emails without reading them at all...i might be completely wrong, but thats my take on the whole thing...good luck

I think you have something there hun!!!

Your make a good point. I guess i kind of feel like she's the one I mean we had great times together and it was a unplanned pregnantcy! And i guess i feel she derserves a second chance to make things right but she probally wants me to forgive her which will not be easy for me to do. But from the advice ice has given i might just have to burn this bridge and close out this chapter in my life. I have always turned to wiser pepole for advice and this option i am greatfull to have thanks for all of you Guy's inputs its very appriceated.

I think you have something there hun!!!


i'm probably completely wrong...i tend to over think things

Wait a minute ... let me get this straight.


She kicks you to the curb a year ago ...


She aborts your child without any concern for your feelings ...


She emails you now whining about her dead beat boyfriend and wants you to listen to her problems ...




If you take this girl back, Hon you will be the one with the self esteem issues. You can do SOOO much better this her.

In my experiance, 9 times out of 10 giving a second chance was a mistake. Your best bet is like Ice said, to burn the bridges and sever all ties between the 2 of you.