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Good Morning Cupcakeness... how are you this monring???

if 2 people love each other so much then it could work. it can be the most frustrating experience in the world though. especially when you're both online and want nothing more than to touch each other. yes, i am talking from experience! i'm the eternal optimist though and still believe that love conquers all.

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one.

Im some ways, developing a LDR is a good thing. There is a built in governor to the pace that things can actually happen.

Personally, I think sex is the biggest reason for failure in most budding relationships. That may sound prudish, It's not. I love an afternoon in bed as much as the next person. Maybe even more than most.

We all have an inherent need for intimacy. It's the reason most of us are here. A strong sexual relationship is the purest form of communication with somebody. An oppportunity to express to one person, that special person, all that you feel about them. It is only natural to associate sex and intimacy with that kind of communication attached to it.

While stereotyping has put men into a "looking for sex" light and women into a "looking for a relationship" light, the reality is that we are searching for the same thing. We just have different emotions defining our viewpoints of it. Mars vs. Venus.

Most people have been in the boat of meeting someone and finding them interesting. Nature takes over, you jump into the sack. Unless one of you two is a cold fish, a good time is had. It also triggers an event.
A hidden acid test of a sort. The true relationship clock starts ticking down to zero hour....decision time.

There is an underlying commitment made when you have relations with somebody. The roller coaster has left the platform. But you can really only hope that the ride is a good one.

Good times are had, the sex is great. But soon thereafter, the nagging "where is the magic" feeling creeps in. The natural assumption is that the problem is who you are with. Therein lies the problem.

The intimacy that we are really seeking hasn't had time to develop. You can try and nut it out until it does, but that brings on a whole different set of problems. Good fodder for another post, but too long for this one.

Before you know it, things stagnate. The relationship withers.

So, is being forced to go slow, taking your time, letting the distance to that crucial milepost remain, really such a bad thing?

Just my two cents...

I can't, I don't think, ever do that again.

I sat here at this computer for hours talking to a man from 40 miles outside of London. I fell for him hardcore. I listened to him, watched his expressions on cam, even talked to his mum, and after we talked for a bit, he made plans to come to the USA on a 3 month visitors visa to meet me and the kids, but he realized (according to him) that there was no way that he could leave his family or his country.

I cried for over a week, didn't eat and didn't sleep, and my kids we devastated because they too understood what our lives would be like with him here and they grieved for the loss as well.

I have a new rule....if I can't meet you in less then a couple months, then I don't even want to chat like that with a man ever again. I often wonder if I'm going to miss out on my soulmate with that attitude, but I really can't suffer a blow like that and sit here and waste my life away on some man from England that doesn't have any intentions of ever meeting me.

I'd move or I'd go there, but I can't move my children outside of the USA and leaving them here for their father to raise is out of the question.

-Erin

A long-distance relationship would certainly beat the one I have now.

I second that...

I wish I believed that.....really I do!!!

-Erin

Love CAN conquer all - if it's a cooperative effort.

I am in a relationship with someone who I adore, and he's only 40 miles away or an hour by train. and as god is my witness i'll make it work

I agree....too many crucial decisions are made about relationships after having sex and all the feelings are there that seem like love...BUT are actually the result of false intimacy...Intimacy is far more than sex and takes awhile before you can open yourself up freely enough to allow true intimacy to develop between each other.....Sex right away clouds judgement and leads to bad decisions and heartache!!!!!!!!!

Not always in my opinion, I don't think you can always know whats in a persons mind and heart when your so far apart.

That's true - which is why I added the qualifier "if it's a cooperative effort." If you're trying to do it all on your own, you'll almost certainly fail.

Ditto I think we share the same brain!

Well it's possible we were twins seperated at birth!!!!!!!!!

I feel for you Erin. I haven't even got that close yet but I'm still hoping. I like your new rule by the way.

I still believe that, it's just a matter of time. (So I keep telling myself)

Aries if I were in the same situation I would make it work as well. The biggest bummer for me is the distance and I'm not talking about 40 miles.

I agree with this...wow, this was deep....

Myself, I need the intimacy to have a relationship with someone. Sure, I can chat with you for months, have a meeting during those months but to know you, feel you, touch you, I need that to be in person.....more than I guess, the "normal person"


I don't understand how anyone COULD develope and keep a solid relationship without the intimacy.

This, is just me though....


ewww, I don't like this winker....

I know it's possible or again I may be kidding myself.