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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a
sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.

He yelled out,
'Miss Jones, I need to have a piss!'

Miss Jones replied,
'Now Johnny, that is not the proper word to use in this
situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate.
Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly and
I will allow you to go.'

Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, 'You're an
eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a 10.'

got any more?

y mitch....so you can steal them and pass them off as your own in a few months.....

I have a lot more!

I can`t tell you anything

u can tell me anything...but if there is comedic value to it....its fair game....love ya!!

Rats

the first Little Johnny Joke I ever heard.

anyone know it?

It was a little boy's first day in school and a teacher was going to
play a "guessing" game. She passed out different items to each of the
students and proceeded to ask each student what item they received.
When it was the new boy, Johnny's turn, the teacher gave him a candy kiss.

She asked "Do you know what it is?"

Johnny replied "No"

The teacher said, "Go ahead and open it up and taste it."

Little Johnny did so.
The teacher then asked, "Now do you know what it is?"

Little Johnny said "Nooooo."

The teacher said, "I"ll give you a hint...it is something your daddy
wants from your mommy every morning before he goes to work."

A little girl in the back of the class jumps up and screams
"JOHNNY, SPIT IT OUT......... IT'S A PIECE OF ASS."

Not me.

Little Johnny had a substitute teacher at school. Miss Jones had already warned her about his mouth. The children were learning to associate words with the letters of the alphabet.

"Who can tell me a word that starts with A?" asked the sub.

"ooooh! oooooh! me, I can!", Little Johnny couldn't contain himself.

The wary substitute knew what was coming and she ignored Johnny. They proceeded through the alphabet until they came to the letter R.

"Oooooh! Me! OOOh! ooooh me I know!", wailed Johnny.

The teacher couldn't think of any foul words beginning with R, and finally gave Johnny a chance. "Okay, Johnny tell us a word that starts with R."


"Rats, really big fucking rats with really long dicks!"

Oh the Substitute Teacher one.

I'm an avid fan of Little Johnny jokes.

It all started back when I was... j/k

Fishing With Grandpa

Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while
grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little
Johnny asks, "Grandpa can I have some beer too?"

"Can you stick your penis in your a**hole?" grandpa asked back.

"No"

"Well, than your not big enough"

Granpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny sees this
and asks for a cigarette.

"Can you stick your penis in your a**hole?" grandpa asked again.

"No"

"Well, than your not big enough"

Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His grandfather
says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?"

Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your a**hole?"

Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick so he says, "Well of course I can, I'm big enough."

Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go f**k yourself, these are my
cookies"


Bad little Johnny