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Upon reflection, I have come to this inescapable conundrum. How much can you really learn about a person through what they post on a public forum? I, myself, am very different in a relationship than I am when replying to a nonsensical thread. In fact, I am different in a relationship then I am in most public atmospheres, esp. internet ones. I believe it was Aristotle who said "You learn more about a person in an hour of play than a lifetime of conversation." Are you learing how I react to different dificulties? Are you learning how my eyes become vacant and dead when I've lost my passion in a conversation? Are you learning that I like to laugh as much as I like to sit contentedly with someone in my arms? No, you're not. You're learning that I can spell well, and can have a sharp wit when tested. That hardly seems to be enough to base a crush on, but, maybe a picture and a quick word is all it takes. I've met one interesting person in all of my attempts at online dating, and it's starting to look bleak.... Can anyone prove to me that someone's "Pass-the-time" posts are enough to try and find more? Because, if not, I think I'll go back to a lonely lifestyle of playing music and video games......

Hi Zellarrone..

I am member on a computer forum, where over the years many of us have met. (not dating) MANY many of us.. in big groups.. small groups and even holidaying together. Regularly and often. (for 6yrs now)

I'm not talking about a *Love interest* But the thing I am VERY aware of is HOW different people can be when you actually do meet them and spend time with them.

Some of them over the years have really surprised me (and I them I expect lol)

Some (most) people are sooo different when you meet them in Real Life.. You have an image of their personality and behaviour in your head.. and in my experience .. very rarely are they JUST like that.. I honestly think 8 out of ten times.. you would be surprised by them (and not always in a good way)

It's EASY to sit here and say do and be anything you want to portray... It's the internet.. (could be a 60yr old bearded man for all you know)

only allowing people to know what you WANT them to know about you.. In a way that YOU want people to perceive of you. (im not nearly as mad as I seem)... haha

But its VERY different to meeting the REAL person... and seeing how they walk talk and move. How they behave/treat other people.

So I know that initially when you first *meet* someone here.. you both say the right things.. and it all looks sooo amazing.. but honestly the majority of the time it's not when you *meet*.

It's like a fantasy land really.

Im not basing this on meeting a handful of people (and im NOT just talking about lurrrrve)... I've met.. 50 60? people over the years.. I have a pretty good idea.

It has also taught me to rein myself in and be careful of what I say and do with someone I like..or who likes me. Because MOST of the time.. (In MY opinion).. it IS just fantasy.

Don't get me wrong.. some times I know it DOES work.. and it IS right... but I honestly think that is more of a fluke.. right place right time.. right person.

Well...I have been with a man for two years that I met on CS. The forum was the initial key to being introduced. The other key is keeping in touch by some other means, IM, phone and then finally meeting. You will know if it is right if you both cannot seem to get enough of each other and really want to keep in touch.


Best of luck!