Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

How to Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Complain because your husband had been eating your gingernut and jaffa cake body wash.

11. Rinse conditioner off hair.

12. Shave armpits and legs.

13. Turn off shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of shower onto a floor towel. Dry with a towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

16. Hang floor towel on side of tub.

17. Check entire body for zits, tweeze unwanted hairs.

18. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

19. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Taste your wife's ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

14. Pee.

15. Rinse off and get out of shower. (What's a floor towel?)

16. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

17. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

18. Leave shower curtain open, water on floor, light and fan on.

19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

20. Throw wet towel on bed.

the truth has been told.....

LOL Hey I resemble this

someone make sure to warn Goth

SHHHHH

Oh I'm sure we can compromise honey!!!!!!!!

Well I don't know

this one is a must

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Yeah.......it kinda played off in my mind when I read it.

~~~That is so true and soooo funny


BTW~some of those shower products sound awesome. Cucumber & Sage....I like the sound of that.

This is sooo embarassing.....someone please delete this thread....





(only kidding.)....whoooo whooooo!!!!!..lol..

Take off clothes????

It's more like...
1. Walk towards the shower stripping on the way and grabbing a towel.
2. Turn the shower on and shave while water gets warm.
3. Make mental not to seek cure for love handles.
4. Put paste on toothbrush and stick it in your mouth while jumping in the shower.
5. pee while brushing
6. Put hair and body wash on washcloth and vigorously scratch your self senseless all over forcing your right hand behind your back with your left.
7. Wash penix.
8. Wash where sun don't shine.
9. Turn off the shower, jump out putting toothbrush back and grabbing the towel.
10. Dry off while looking on the floor for the right outfit.
end time 10m30s

sounds about right....