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Maybe I am less tolerant now that mychildren been grownfor 10 plus years.
My nephew who is 17 comes to me with a shortage of cash problem.. he tells me its for gas for his car and he was going to the away gamewith GF and all that.
I loaned him the cash 40dollars to fill it up. you guessed it. he bought CD's ... never went to game .. I was furious so I called himn and asked about the money, he said he changed hs mind, so where's my money? he basically blew me off with I'll get it in a couple of weeks. well,yesterday I went to his house and removed the CD player in his car.

Now , I have my Sister blowing up, yelling I stole from him, and all that... all I'm trying to do is to teach him
Do not mistake kindness for a weakness.

Did you teach the kid the need to pay back debts, or did you give the kid a lesson in Justification?

I agree that the kid needs a lesson about money but to remove his CD player is going to backfire and by the sounds of your sister it is backfiring quickly.

I don't know whether taking the CD player was such a good idea. Nothing against your family but respect and responsibility is taught at home. Your sister should have made your nephew pay you back in a timely manner. You didn't keep him waiting to recieve the $ you should not have to wait to be paid back. I understand that most teens don't make alot of money but even if he gave you $5.00 a week until it's paid back.It would show good faith and responsibility. Good luck with settling this family dispute.

i believed i will have taken the CD also but first i would have consulted with his mother (Your Sister). And them take the CD anyway

i appreicaite the input,
He has a habit of avoiding or denying responsibilities for his actions. He is getting to old to have my sweet pain in the ass sister bail him out.

Don't worry he will be 18 very soon and them you can kick his as like and adult.

this is exactly what I'm trying to teach him, when he's 18 there is no safty net, he will be held accountable and not by a loving uncle.

Taking the cd...dunno about that. You handed over the cash...
Eventually, as sataed above, he will have to learn his own way. Might be a hard fall to his ass...and, we don't like to see those we love hurt, but some lessons are just harder to learn. Better he begin to learn now? If he chooses not to, then his actions will definately catch up to him.
This is similar, not quite, to what I'm helping my own son learn. He just turned 19. While he has a shit life right now, he has to take some big steps ahead.
I feel for ya, hon...

One of the lessons that I learned the hard way...If I decide to lend out money (especially to family) not to expect it back or i'm just setting myself up. unless i have them put it in writing...
Question? Did you tell your nephew in advance that he could only spend the money on gas and nothing else?
I wouldn't of taken his CD player. I would of waited to see if he paid me back. If not, then tell him your wallet is off limits...
Sometimes it's just best to lend out the money with no strings attached and then just wait and see if he pays you back as agreed...

All good valid points ladies,
I would have probably treated my niece different, but she is more responsible and considerate of others.
Anyway I know couple ofthe neighbors will be happy he has no tunes ,,,,,,,no matter how big the kicker and speakers are no Cd/radio no tunes.....
He'll get the CD player back, just takes a good faith payment..but like he said the weekends coming the ain't got the money...........excuse me I have to go the mens room and drop a load of 100's bills... LOL

I don't think that you taught him any lesson. Sounds to me like you were the one taught the lesson. Is this the first time that you've loaned him money and not been repaid? If so shame on you for doing it again. If he's been trustworthy up 'til now, shame on him for breaking your trust. Whatever the case, you should take the position of the Adult, which you are in this situation. If he doesn't pay you back let him know that he can longer count on you for loans. If he pays you back it will be a miracle, but if he does, let him know that next time there will be an interest charge..That's real world. In my opinion you should be the grown up and give him back his CD Player. Allow his conscience to guide him in the right direction, not just the desire to get his music back....that's my nickles' worth.

the nickle is appreicated

this lad has borrowed my tools without permission then left them in his backyard. The snowblower I let his mom use for the season he gave away. I've been away from this family awhile, he can do whatever he wants ...but this time i responded...

In my view there were 3 wrongs here. He borrowed the money, didn't pay it back, and you took his CD player. He did you wrong no doubt. But what are you teaching him? Your sis is correct, you stole his CD player. If you knew he was irresponsible to begin with, you should not have loaned him the money and then, told him the reason why. Trust is something you earn and it doesn't sound like he has earned it. Other people's actions toward us do not cause us to react. We react because we choose to react. Yes, you are an adult and what you taught him is because he wasn't responsible, you don't have to be either. Each of us is accountable and responsible for our own decisions/actions. I would give back the CD player and apologize for taking it. That could be the first lesson you teach your nephew. When his birthday or Christmas comes up, you can deduct what he owes you by giving him a card and his gift is partial payment for the money he owes you. Just my opinion.

I was about to bend to the opnion of others, but, a phone call has changed everything. I have compromised he paints my downstair hallway and he gets his CD /stereo back.
course, gonna have to paint first. which he is gonna do tonite and tomorrow after school.
I guess without the tunes his ride just ain't the same.
and he loves being in the drivers seat....LOL

thanks for the input it was appreicated.

I'm glad it worked out for you.....take care

Rick

to be honest i think he is lucky he borrowed it from you and not the local loan shark that would of charged him big interest and then broke his legs for not paying him back

maybe taking the cd player was wrong maybe not but if he learned a life lesson then good for both of you

but what do i know

Thank ya kindly

generally, natural consequences work greater than imposed ones...he borrows from you and screws you over, he doesn't get any more money.

as your sister, i wouldn't have allowed you to keep that cd player, she's right...it was stolen. heh, doesn't mean that HE would have gotten it back right away, though...just that it is her place to take care of that.

hopefully it will all work out for you, good luck.

i don't think he ever planned on keeping it just holding it till restitution is taken care of

which as listed earlier they have come to an arrangement

hope he does a good job of it and does not get paint in all the wrong places hmmm