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Anyone that has children knows that it goes without saying that the "children will come first"...how do you feel when you see someone's profile that felt the need to put that there? Does it deter you in anyway from contacting them?

I tend to categorize them as:

A) they will be spending more time with the children in close proximity than alone time with me....

B) "my children come first" may also mean "above my own wants, needs, desires...." (in reference to themself)

And please...though i do not think there is anything at all wrong with placing your children in priority as far as your life goes....why are you dating if you potentially have no time to devote to a relationship??

I think that god comes first but after that, yes my children are the most important thing in my life, they are our future, and if others that want to date you are not enterested in your children then they are only thinking of themselves and do not care for the one they are with in the first place!

I've had relationships with ladies with children, and to be honest, I would think VERY long and hard about doing so again.

Yes I could very well be missing out, but I couldn't handle the excessive noise, as well as other stuff.

Just my personal sh*t really.

I got my limits Pearl!

do u mean u dont want to have children one day ?

I don't have to put that in my profile having kids long flown the nest but I understand why people do.

My brother who has never married, is in his forties and more often than not meets women with kids. He has found it very difficult to be part of a ready made family many times over for a number of reasons. If someone has never had kids it is difficult to understand the time and attention kids need, and as Detente says, the noise and commotion they generate.

Perhaps women who include this in their profiles have had experiences with men like my brother?

Oh my goodness no! I want a houseful of lil girls in sweet lil dresses running about with their lil dolls!

But I'm not in any way ready for all that yet.

hi wikked!!! it's been a long time, how've you been??!!!

yeh i noticed it before and thought...well duh!!! i sometimes wonder if its a cover up..or like their trying to convince themselves and others how important their children are to them. just guessing on that...never thought of putting so dont really know why they do.

but the second part of your post about...hmmmmm
"why are you dating if you potentially have no time to devote to a relationship??" there has to be a balance...and the person's involved on both ends have to know the committments on the other. no one is gonna get 100% of anyones time, all the time.

Nice to see someone being honest here Detente.

Maybe people who put itheir children must come first have had bad expiences with past partners and because of this want to make it clear where they stand least they are being hones

I have no children and dated women with children. I love kids!! The women I dated not only told me in their profiles they had kids and they were #1, but also told me in person. I highly respect what they did and I understand why they had to say it.

Both women I dated with kids had NO support from the kid's fathers. I highly respected these women and their determination to take care of their children's needs. They had to be both mother and father to their kids, and maintain a full time career also. I assured both women, that I understand they want to protect their children above all else because these kids have been through enough trauma.

So if women have on their profile I have children and children come 1st, I have a great amount of respect for that. Maybe much younger men would have a problem being low on the totem pole...

I have met and dated men who have also come to respect my stand on parenting...and how important my children are to me...but i never had to tell them that...its what they saw in our interaction...

Hi cherry...Nice to see you too doll,,...

I come from a country that produced one of the greatest administrative oxymorons of all time: "No child left behind."

I very much appreciate it when men talk about their children on profiles. Saves me the bother of reading it all. I dont like kids and I certainly would not be interested in a man who had kids living at home. Im feeling quite unwell at the thought of it and Im going to have a drink.

Thats so sweet !!

Frankly, I have never met, nor seen a mother that cared about their children first; it was always like 'It's My Party Time!", "Here's your bottle/ or toy, now shut up and leave mommy alone!" How any man would want a woman with attitudes like that, other than a cheap thrill was always beyond me.....

really? thats insane!!!

There are a hundred reasons why getting involved with a woman that has children is difficult. Many of them selfish and many of them are real problem areas. When you marry a woman with children, you are marrying the whole family. There may be resentment on the part of the children that the new partner is trying to take the place of the absent natural parent, that poses a problem. From a romantic angle, A person might feel spontaneous displays of affection would be hampered as well as the physical tryst in the bedroom or anywhere else will have to be planned and not as romantic. Then there is the discipline issue. One parent may not want someone else disciplining their children, or they may have varient disciplinay styles. There the is the former spouse and theie interaction with the new partner...in reference to discipline. The standard issues of finances, religious training, etc...etc...etc.

Understand, I am not saying that anyone can't over come these obstacles, the question is, do you want to invest the time and energy??