Thread:

Don't Call Me...I'll Call You...

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Don't Call Me...I'll Call You...

Ontario personals
wikked
Ajax, Ontario Canada
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:09 PM CST
If you have great conversation with someone, whether it be online, the phone or any other such device, and connect on THAT level...and then have the opportunity to finally meet in person, and the "spark" is just not there...

no fireworks, no tingles, no chemistry....nothing!blues

Do you tell that person right at that first meeting....

Do you wait until you go home and send a message...

Do you go out a few more times, hoping that some divine intervention will happen and the spark will finally arrive....

How do you handle this type of situation? (and i know we've ALL been there at one time or another if you're really "internet" dating...and not just trolling!)

handshake comfort hug
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free online dating
Fallingman
dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:10 PM CST
In response to:
If you have great conversation with someone, whether it be online, the phone or any other such device, and connect on THAT level...and then have the opportunity to finally meet in person, and the "spark" is just not there...

no fireworks, no tingles, no chemistry....nothing!

Do you tell that person right at that first meeting....

Do you wait until you go home and send a message...

Do you go out a few more times, hoping that some divine intervention will happen and the spark will finally arrive....

How do you handle this type of situation? (and i know we've ALL been there at one time or another if you're really "internet" dating...and not just trolling!)

Well Wikked, I will tell you at our meeting! devil
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Detente
North West, England UK
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:11 PM CST
If, as you say, there has been chemistry online(confused laugh ), I'd give it a couple of meetings to reappear.

Nerves and all...
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Washington matchmaking
KingLeo
Frederickson, Washington USA
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:14 PM CST
In response to:
If you have great conversation with someone, whether it be online, the phone or any other such device, and connect on THAT level...and then have the opportunity to finally meet in person, and the "spark" is just not there...

no fireworks, no tingles, no chemistry....nothing!

Do you tell that person right at that first meeting....

Do you wait until you go home and send a message...

Do you go out a few more times, hoping that some divine intervention will happen and the spark will finally arrive....

How do you handle this type of situation? (and i know we've ALL been there at one time or another if you're really "internet" dating...and not just trolling!)

I've had a girl wait till I left then she messaged me, I would have preferred that she told me in person. I otherwise feel lead on.
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Ontario personals
wikked
Ajax, Ontario Canada
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:14 PM CST
In response to:
If, as you say, there has been chemistry online( ), I'd give it a couple of meetings to reappear.

Nerves and all...
What kind of "chemistry" can there be "online"?

Conversing allows you to connect to someone for sure...but on a different level wouldn't you say?

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New Brunswick dating
kissmedeeply
Asheville, North Carolina, North Carolina USA
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:17 PM CST
Tell them right at the meeting..face to face
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free online dating
Fallingman
dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:17 PM CST
In response to:
Tell them right at the meeting..face to face
come here then!
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sweetcherry
south, Xlokk Malta
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:18 PM CST
In response to:
If, as you say, there has been chemistry online( ), I'd give it a couple of meetings to reappear.

Nerves and all...
I feel it's kind of difficult to "feel the chemistry" online... with virtual conversation you don't really see the person in front of you, you don't smell him, you don't notice any behavioural quirks which might put you off when you do.

Yeah, I've been there, thought someone was a good idea to meet, then after we met I often found that I wasn't physically attracted to him after all. And before I get pounded on the head for giving physical attraction too much importance, from my experience I have found that if the initial chemistry is not there, in my case... it just does not develop over time. I've tried having 'a couple of more dates' with the hope of it happening, because some of these men were really nice guys and I had enjoyed making their acquaintance (still good friends with some of them), however... if the spark is not there, I often just let it go at that... or remain friends if the guy if there are no hard feelings.
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Virginia dating
yoursuperman
Lynchburg, Virginia USA
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:19 PM CST
Thats hard to say, but you had to have learned many things about this person before you met just from phone , internet ect.. so what turns you off maybe isnt the person its just something you are trying to deal with .. I dont see where a person would meet just from saying hi how are you , want to meet and than you see a stranger . internet does offer hope for who that person is, even if they hiding agenda's you can most time pick up on what they are looking for in just few words.

But if it wasnt meant to be than it will not happen anyway.letting them know how you feel i would think just by the meet face to face that person could realize how you felt expression, how you acted so on.
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New Brunswick dating
kissmedeeply
Asheville, North Carolina, North Carolina USA
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:20 PM CST
In response to:
come here then!
cryingyour going to tell me you dont like me ?
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free online dating
Fallingman
dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:20 PM CST
In response to:
your going to tell me you dont like me ?
I doubt it!
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Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:25 PM CST
In response to:
What kind of "chemistry" can there be "online"?

Conversing allows you to connect to someone for sure...but on a different level wouldn't you say?

i think there can be chemistry online followed by phone conversations...
For me the initial meetings arent my best, and im not sure why. it takes me a couple times of being with somone to put things together with that person. Like i need time to adjust and analyze them...

dunno
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Jan1305
(Moscow region temporarily), Murcia Spain
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:25 PM CST
I've been there three times and knew immediately that there was no physical attraction but I had a pleasant enough time.

I'll admit I'm a coward and hate hurting people's feelings so I'm afraid I couldn't say a permanent goodbye after each of the dates. It is the best way though because these guys still contact me from time to time and I really don't want it. Luckily they are all nice enough guys and don't pester me too much, I think they know deep down I'm not interested.

New Years Resolution....toughen up!
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New Brunswick dating
kissmedeeply
Asheville, North Carolina, North Carolina USA
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:26 PM CST
In response to:
I doubt it!
hug kiss
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Detente
North West, England UK
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:29 PM CST
In response to:
What kind of "chemistry" can there be "online"?

Conversing allows you to connect to someone for sure...but on a different level wouldn't you say?

I don't believe there can be any chemistry, as you yourself imply. Chemistry takes an interaction on a far greater level than mere words exchanged through a world wide web.

JMO

However, some people think it is possible.
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california dating
rwantin
Costa Mesa, California USA
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:36 PM CST
A great question, one I am not sure how to answer. As Jan had suggested, I too am a bit of a coward with regard to suggesting there's nothing really there. Thankfully, I'm never in this situation. Their running away, sometimes screaming, reconciles things rather nicely. smoking
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Texas singles
KittenLove
San Antonio, Texas USA
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:38 PM CST
This exact thing happened to me with a guy that I had been dating on-line that lives in North Carolina. After I came back from the trip to visit him, I gave it about a week and then I broke up with him over the phone. I didn't tell him that the chemistry we had felt on-line wasn't there in person. He had still felt the chemistry but I had not. I pussed out and used the vague excuss that it wasn't working for me anymore. I know it sucks, but these things just happen.
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Detente
North West, England UK
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:38 PM CST
In response to:
A great question, one I am not sure how to answer. As Jan had suggested, I too am a bit of a coward with regard to suggesting there's nothing really there. Thankfully, I'm never in this situation. Their running away, sometimes screaming, reconciles things rather nicely.
Self effacing to the last!

I've been told you are a VERY handsome man Robert!head banger
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sweetcherry
south, Xlokk Malta
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:40 PM CST
In response to:
A great question, one I am not sure how to answer. As Jan had suggested, I too am a bit of a coward with regard to suggesting there's nothing really there. Thankfully, I'm never in this situation. Their running away, sometimes screaming, reconciles things rather nicely.
running away screaming huh?? laugh wink
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South Carolina dating
mbcasey
North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 2:42 PM CST
I talked to a woman for a couple of weeks and went on 2 dates with her. There was no "spark", so I was straight forward and honest with her. I told her very tactfully that I just didn't have romantic feelings for her. We have remained friends and she told me later, she appreciated my candor.
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