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# 1

Tue Jan 1, 2008 6:48 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

BamaBob

Cullman, Alabama USA

Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

I don't claim to understand women....but this one puzzles me. I met her online. She is really really a nice, cute, and sweet person. We have an amazingly amount of things in common including where we live, how we live, and what we want. There was NEVER any pressure to do anything. First date was dinner and a drive, all went nice...just a small hug and light kiss. Second date was out for some activities just to get to know each other, grab a beer and a sandwich, then to my place for a movie. She spent the night, we cuddled but no sex. Third date...I delivered dinner to her house, helped her put a few things together she had gotten for Christmas.... a little snuggling. She anticipated my kisses with openness. After a little romance she pulls the cutains closed as she was extremely hot and anxious. She led me to the bedroom. In no way did I ever pressure her for sex. Actually, by the time I was ready to give it to her she was practically begging... Afterwards she spent a very long time in the shower. Tho' she was very nice she seemed distant. Since then she broke the date which she had made with me. I had to encourage her to just be friends and not avoid me because I'm not about to burn that bridge. I don't know what her problem is or if there is one. I just know that she went from extremely hot to wanting to not date and being apprehensive about dating...just wants time. She says she doesn't want to get into casual sex, but after 3 dates and getting to know each other quite well I do not call it casual. For me it was the beginning of a very comfortable relationship...I just don't know, I'm somewhere between puzzled and confused, not hurt but trying to be very understanding since my last relationship ended with me devastated. I certainly do not want to be hurt again and don't want to see anyone hurt... but What's the deal? I've had similar experiences. I know she has feelings for me but surely the sex was not so bad that she ran from me.... the only thing I may have done wrong was to insist on a condom....as much as I hate those things I want to use one until I know I'm the one and only and prefer to see a health certificate.... So...somebody tell me what's going on in her mind? Did my use of a condom make her feel that she is dirty or that I don't trust her?

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# 2

Tue Jan 1, 2008 7:14 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

blue_eyed_blonde

Vinton, Iowa USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

in my thinking...the condom had nothing to do with it nor did ur performance...its thoughts deep inside her...JMO and cant say more on here...best to you..

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# 3

Tue Jan 1, 2008 8:25 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

BamaBob

Cullman, Alabama USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

I have to agree with you B.E.B. It was absolutely a performance of a lifetime! I mean...like total restraint until she was boiling over! LITERALLY!... I do know for a fact that she has issues she is dealing with...kinda sorta my heart goes out to her and all of us who are dealing with lost loves and have issues that we are not through dealing with. There will always be something in the back of my mind that refuses to let me give 100% of myself to a woman and I have to deal with that every time I'm alone with a woman.

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# 4

Tue Jan 1, 2008 8:29 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

fireliter

Allen Park, Michigan USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

In response to: “I don't claim to understand women....but this one puzzles me. I met her online. She is really really a nice, cute, and sweet person. We have an amazingly amount of things in common including where we live, how we live, and what we want. There was NEVER any pressure to do anything. First date was dinner and a drive, all went nice...just a small hug and light kiss. Second date was out for some activities just to get to know each other, grab a beer and a sandwich, then to my place for a movie. She spent the night, we cuddled but no sex. Third date...I delivered dinner to her house, helped her put a few things together she had gotten for Christmas.... a little snuggling. She anticipated my kisses with openness. After a little romance she pulls the cutains closed as she was extremely hot and anxious. She led me to the bedroom. In no way did I ever pressure her for sex. Actually, by the time I was ready to give it to her she was practically begging... Afterwards she spent a very long time in the shower. Tho' she was very nice she seemed distant. Since then she broke the date which she had made with me. I had to encourage her to just be friends and not avoid me because I'm not about to burn that bridge. I don't know what her problem is or if there is one. I just know that she went from extremely hot to wanting to not date and being apprehensive about dating...just wants time. She says she doesn't want to get into casual sex, but after 3 dates and getting to know each other quite well I do not call it casual. For me it was the beginning of a very comfortable relationship...I just don't know, I'm somewhere between puzzled and confused, not hurt but trying to be very understanding since my last relationship ended with me devastated. I certainly do not want to be hurt again and don't want to see anyone hurt... but What's the deal? I've had similar experiences. I know she has feelings for me but surely the sex was not so bad that she ran from me.... the only thing I may have done wrong was to insist on a condom....as much as I hate those things I want to use one until I know I'm the one and only and prefer to see a health certificate.... So...somebody tell me what's going on in her mind? Did my use of a condom make her feel that she is dirty or that I don't trust her?”

Sometimes you can know a woman "too well" and vice versa.

Sometimes the expectations of an event can diminish the pleasure shared.

and that is something whoever experiences it... will have to come to terms with.

Delusional fantasies, one too many "harlequin romance novel"
on the ol book shelf.

Patience does have it's rewards.

Best of luck to ya both

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# 5

Tue Jan 1, 2008 8:42 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

BamaBob

Cullman, Alabama USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

Thanks fireliter... I'm just very thankful that I was able to talk her into remaining friends and convincing her that I in no way am a threat to her sanity or anything else. So far we still email each other nice stuff and have talked a couple of times on the phone and she's good enough that she has done at least 1/2 of the calling...a sign of a real friend!
But still, she insists on not dating at this time. For sure, I do feel that the door is not locked and I am definitely a patient person so...unless there is another little fishy swims by and can overcome my desire for her then I might just move on down the road.... but....man I really hate it tho' ...we just had so much in common and were so overly comfortable together that it kinda spooked her. Whatever happens I will definitely respect her wishes...and maybe, just maybe, she will read this thread.

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# 6

Tue Jan 1, 2008 8:45 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

BamaBob

Cullman, Alabama USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

ugh... reminds me of those stupid potato chip commercials "betcha can't eat just one"... give me a good taste then snatching the whole bag of potato chips away from me and leaves me craving more... hmmm...surely I'll find more potato chips.

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# 7

Tue Jan 1, 2008 8:48 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

diogenes

Longview, Texas USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

In response to: “ugh... reminds me of those stupid potato chip commercials "betcha can't eat just one"... give me a good taste then snatching the whole bag of potato chips away from me and leaves me craving more... hmmm...surely I'll find more potato chips.”

Frito Lays?

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# 8

Tue Jan 1, 2008 8:49 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

fireliter

Allen Park, Michigan USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

In response to: “ugh... reminds me of those stupid potato chip commercials "betcha can't eat just one"... give me a good taste then snatching the whole bag of potato chips away from me and leaves me craving more... hmmm...surely I'll find more potato chips.”

Or it could one of the best compliments you've received in your life. the intimacy shared took her breath away to such an extent she still trying to catch it.

if thats the case Bravo my man thumbsup:

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# 9

Tue Jan 1, 2008 8:49 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

Indyfella

indianapolis, Indiana USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

In response to: “Frito Lays?

”

No.......... Chesty

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# 10

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:15 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

gentlepaws

Any town, Ontario Canada

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

Wow. Good luck.

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# 11

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:17 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

diogenes

Longview, Texas USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

In response to: “Wow. Good luck.”

He already got lucky Paw Paw.

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# 12

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:23 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

gentlepaws

Any town, Ontario Canada

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

In response to: “He already got lucky Paw Paw.”

I wouldn't call that luck.

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# 13

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:25 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

shipoker55

St. Petersburg, Florida USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

I will never understand women sexually. I have given up trying. The woman after my marriage break-up...just wanted sex..no kissing, no foreplay...just do it. As many times as I was able at each get together. Never in her bed! On the floor, sofa, my house, but not in her bed! The last woman I was with, when I was tired out after two times, told me she wasn't interested in a " man like that". And I thought all MEN thought was sex.

Just be thankful for the good times you had with her and move on! Don't pine over what is lost!

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# 14

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:30 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

Indyfella

indianapolis, Indiana USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

Heck, maybe a 1 night stand could work?

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# 15

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:30 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

cutelildevilsmom

portsmouth, New Hampshire USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

She may have felt she went to far to fast and got scared.Give her the space she needs with no pressure.Just check in with her to let her know you are there if she wants to talk. Good luck and you sound like a very caring man ..

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# 16

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:30 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

Indyfella

indianapolis, Indiana USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

In response to: “I will never understand women sexually. I have given up trying. The woman after my marriage break-up...just wanted sex..no kissing, no foreplay...just do it. As many times as I was able at each get together. Never in her bed! On the floor, sofa, my house, but not in her bed! The last woman I was with, when I was tired out after two times, told me she wasn't interested in a " man like that". And I thought all MEN thought was sex.

Just be thankful for the good times you had with her and move on! Don't pine over what is lost! ”

Maybe she had a thing about "scaley" sheets?

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# 17

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:32 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

cutelildevilsmom

portsmouth, New Hampshire USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

well this woman would rather do it in a bed and not up for all nighters anymore.....evreyone aproaches sex differently so you just have to roll with it.

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Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:32 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

CS Ad Robot

# 18

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:33 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

cutelildevilsmom

portsmouth, New Hampshire USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

In response to: “

Maybe she had a thing about "scaley" sheets? ”

I remember changing the sheets after a sex session but its been awhile...

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# 19

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:36 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

raavana

gampaha Sri Lanka

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

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# 20

Tue Jan 1, 2008 9:45 PM CST ( show ) ( hide )

lover65

Vero Beach, Florida USA

Re: Understanding women...sex but end of relationship....

I'm kind of going through the same scenario, The girl I am seeing was the same. We dated a little longer, maybe two weeks before we slept together. The sex was great. she even told me that I needed to work on a quickie. ( I'm not bragging here, It's true) And she was the one that told me that she liked sex everyday.
All of a sudden, things cool off for the last couple of weeks. She says that she doesn't want anything more than dating right now, but yet she got pissed at me when I went to my old girlfriends to get the rest of my stuff. She also wants to date other guys, but doesn't want me to date other women. She talks about long term things in a relationship, but doesn't want to commit
Does any of this make any sense? I really like her, and could see committing to her, but nothing makes any sense. I'm at a loss here, and don't know if I should move on or stick it out. Any Ideas?

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