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Ladies is this true?.

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Ladies is this true?.

Dublin dating
skimpydoo
Dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 3, 2008, 8:22 AM CST
Ladies below is an article I spotted on Yahoo and is it true?.

Be the perfect boyfriend.

Amy Spencer

It’s amazing how much my “ideal boyfriend” list has changed over the years. Just to give you an idea, here’s a sample of what I’ve looked for in the past:

Perfect boyfriend list circa 1986: Cute. On football team. And, like, totally likes me. Perfect boyfriend list circa 1996: Has a great job. Social. Lives in same city. Perfect boyfriend list circa 2006: Big heart. Faithful. Fun. Potentially a great dad.

Even now, with all we know of love and life, when women start listing what we’re looking for in a guy, it still usually starts with his looks, his location, his job, or O.K., maybe his sense of humour. But the truth is that any man—any height, any place, any job—can be the perfect boyfriend if he expresses the qualities that women really want. The things that speak to our hearts and affect us on a daily, weekly or monthly basis…the things we often forget we want in a guy until we see a John Cusack movie.

So I dug into my past experiences—good and bad—and talked to other women about what they’re looking for to come up with an ideal list. If we put one perfect boyfriend on order, here’s what comes with the package.

The perfect boyfriend…

…gives us butterflies in the beginning (Frequency: 1 x a week, at least for the first three months). I have a friend who’s been seeing a man for three months she describes this way: “He’s really nice and he’s really good to me, but sometimes I have trouble looking at him because he’s really weird-looking…but, you know, we’ll see.” Some people think you don’t have to be all that attracted to the person you’re dating. I’m not one of those people. (And let’s be honest, who really is?) The ideal guy is either immediately attractive to us for his obvious physical attributes (say, dark-haired and tall, skinny with glasses, exotic and graceful), or because he appeals to us in other ways (the way he talks, the way he walks, the way he kisses , the way he works). Either way, those fluttery feelings in the beginning of the romance are important. Relationships get hard, and one way to endure the rough patches is having a little spark of school puppy love to fall back on. The perfect guy provides that.

…makes us laugh (Frequency: a lot). There’s a reason “sense of humour” is consistently at the top of every woman’s love list. If you can’t laugh together, really, what’s the point?

…shows us affection in tender ways (Frequency: minimum 4 x a week). My current squeeze was recently playing with my hair for the duration of an entire episode of Grey’s Anatomy (speaking of, is it too shallow to want the perfect boyfriend to watch Grey’s Anatomy with you?). I was in such heaven, it made me realise how important it is to be touched in ways that aren’t always pre- or post-sexually-charged. For instance, guys, you know that clever idea you have of offering us a “backrub” when you really intend to slowly sneak your hands around and….well, we know that trick. I’m just saying, every once in a while, the perfect boyfriend would give us a plain old backrub.



…agrees to split the bill when we order food (Frequency: at least every other meal together). You know, you guys can have half of our chicken salad if we can have half of your burger? Your French fries are my French fries? Provided we don’t eat the lot, it’s an admirable trait if a boyfriend shares a meal with us—literally.
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Dublin dating
skimpydoo
Dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 3, 2008, 8:23 AM CST
…comes out with our friends and plays the role of token adorable guy (Frequency: 1 x a month). Like a designer coat you get for a steal, what’s the fun of talking about your big find if you can’t show it off? A perfect boyfriend isn’t just perfect when we’re alone; he’s perfect in public, too. Years ago, I dated an event planner who, every once in a while would say, “Let’s take your friends out.” He’d book a table somewhere, hail the taxi, pull out our chairs for us, order us drinks, and tell hilarious stories about some recent party fiasco. I couldn’t help beaming with pride when a friend would lean over and whisper, “Oh my God, he’s adorable.” For most women, our friends are our family and a big part of our lives, so we want our boyfriend to fit right in and make a great impression while he does it. What’s the fun of having the perfect guy if no one in the room goes home just a teeny bit jealous?


…surprises us with thoughtful gifts and gestures (Frequency: 1 x a month). This is where those flowers come in. Or a new CD we wanted. Or a sweet text-message at eleven a.m. Big or small, it really is the thought that counts. While visiting my guy in Scotland for a month, I mentioned a few weeks in that I was feeling a little homesick for London. When I woke up the next morning, he was standing there with two teas…and a copy of London’s Time Out, which he’d spent 45 minutes driving around trying to find. The gift itself cost him a few quid, but was priceless in boyfriend points. “Half the fun of a little gift is just knowing that the guy is thinking of you when he’s apart from you,” points out my friend Sue. “It almost doesn’t matter what it is, it’s just the fact that he thought of us while he was doing it.”

…compliments us on things other than our looks (Frequency: 10 times a month). In a movie I can’t help but reference weekly, Something’s Gotta Give, Jack Nicholson’s character tells Diane Keaton’s character, “You’re the funniest girl I ever had sex with.” Perhaps he could have phrased it a bit better, but there’s something magical about a man who notices the more profound, valuable qualities in us—who says things like, “You’re so interesting,” “You’re so intuitive” or “You’re so smart.” Looks fade, so we want a boyfriend who sees the pretty deep down.

…but, yeah, he also tells us we’re beautiful and hot, like, all the time (Frequency: seriously, all the time). It just makes us feel really good. And the return a boyfriend gets on this is quantifiable: The more beautiful we feel, the better girlfriends we are in return.

…gives us cards with stuff written in them (Frequency: birthday, anniversary, and holidays). Gifts from a boyfriend are great, don’t get me wrong. But it’s truly gratifying when said boyfriend also gives us a card with something heartfelt or sweet or cute written inside of it—you know, something more than just our name, his name, “Love” and a little punctuation. It’s not required, of course, but it goes a long, long way.

…calls us on our questionable behaviour (Frequency: well, not too often). My friend Kim mentioned an attribute she appreciates in her current boyfriend. As she puts it: “He calls me on stuff.” Kim is a tough chick who does her on DIY and goes on holiday alone. But when she gets a boyfriend, she says, “I tend to turn into kind of a weepy, girl-tied-to-the-train-tracks type. The other day I asked him to get up and get me a drink, using this weird baby voice, and he was like, “Whoa, what’s with the voice? Now you’re pushing it.’ He was right,” she says, “I w
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Dublin dating
skimpydoo
Dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 3, 2008, 8:23 AM CST
asn’t being myself. And it makes me respect a guy when he puts me in my place when I veer off-course.”

…makes us trust him completely. (Frequency: always). I dated a guy years ago who was big on boys’ and girls’ nights out. Which was fine, except that when he’d zip up his jacket and I’d say, “See you later,” he’d say, “Sure, unless I meet some other hot girl who wants me to come home with her, ha, ha, just kidding!” Guess what? Not funny. A perfect boyfriend makes a woman feel safe and secure. As my friend Dave puts it, “Trust is the titanium casing of a long-lasting relationship. Without that strong force field, you can’t survive. It’s what makes you a working team.”

…thinks it’s adorable when we’re our all-alone-selves in front of him. (Frequency: always). It’s rare to find a man who finds it charming that you wear decade-old T-shirts to bed, can eat a whole pizza by yourself, and spend Saturdays watching Hollyoakes marathons. And that’s what makes him so special. Assuming we agree not to push it (“I love that you don’t care if I don’t shave for weeks!”), the ideal guy would make us feel loved and accepted when we’re being our most natural selves.

Oh, and by the way, my perfect boyfriend is also cute. And, like, totally likes me.
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Aseeker
Seattle USA
Posted: Jan 3, 2008, 10:08 AM CST
Wow, long read, but yeah, I would say that is about 95% accurate.
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Dublin dating
stefonline
Dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 3, 2008, 10:11 AM CST
Sounds all good to me skimp.......lol
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free online dating
judd28
dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 3, 2008, 10:14 AM CST
what a load of b*ll*ocksconversing
but then I''m not a girllaugh honestgrin
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Aseeker
Seattle USA
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 10:31 AM CST
LOL And as long as you have such a bullocks attitude, you might never have a girl either LOL
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free online dating
judd28
dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 10:34 AM CST
In response to:
LOL And as long as you have such a bullocks attitude, you might never have a girl either LOL
dropping jaw maybe that's where I have been going wrongD'oh!
right atitude adjustment needed, will sign-up for some electro-shock therapy a.s.a.pwow!
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 10:39 AM CST
Holy Moly!!! wow! I'll have to read this when I've had MUCH more coffee...conversing
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Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 11:53 AM CST
I agree with some and disagree with some.
I really have outgrown needing to feel butterflies. That was grand when I was 16, but now, if I feel that butterfly feeling, I tend to be more cautious. I prefer a man who makes me comfortable in my own skin, at ease when I’m near him.
Sense of humor is a must. Laughing in life is important.
It used to be I didn’t need to be shown affection in tender ways, but after dating someone who can’t show tender affection, I realized how important it really is to me. I don’t want to be rough-housed and slapped on the back and treated like one of the guys.
I don’t understand the whole split the bill split the meal thing. I’m impressed by an old fashioned guy who pays the bill. I’m also impressed by a man who simply orders my food for me. “She’ll have the….”
Having him go out with my friends? What’s this? Like on girl’s night he tags along just to serve as a token? No. I definitely don’t want that. Although I do want him to be involved with my family and friends, I have no need to “show off my catch.” He’s a man, not a fish.
Small gifts are nice, not necessary. Same with cards. Compliments are even better.
Calling me on my own behavior is great. It’s forthright and it shows he won’t be manipulated, nor will he tolerate misconduct.
Trust is vital.
Feeling loved in a natural state is imperative. If I can’t be ME, there’s no point in the relationship.
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Kildare dating
springbox
kildare, Kildare Ireland
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 11:58 AM CST
YOU N EED TO GET OUT MORE ...U SPEND TO MUCH TIME ON HEREhere's to you here's to you here's to you
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Scotland singles
Chele75
Glasgow, Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 12:06 PM CST
haha.. totally agree....
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north carolina dating
spiceygamble
On my way abroad..., North Carolina USA
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 12:13 PM CST
Yeah... well, that's all fine if you want to be HER boyfriend.
Thing is, each of us has own little list.
Good luck sorting throught that pile of mail.

grin
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Aseeker
Seattle USA
Posted: Jan 5, 2008, 12:11 PM CST
LOL Spicey, that is why I didn't give it 100%. Not everyone is the same, and me, it makes me feel uncomfortable when a guy just stares and spends the whole night telling me how gorgeous I am. So maybe once or twice is nice, but then please go onto another subject LOL
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north carolina dating
spiceygamble
On my way abroad..., North Carolina USA
Posted: Jan 5, 2008, 12:16 PM CST
In response to:
LOL Spicey, that is why I didn't give it 100%. Not everyone is the same, and me, it makes me feel uncomfortable when a guy just stares and spends the whole night telling me how gorgeous I am. So maybe once or twice is nice, but then please go onto another subject LOL
It's a lot to digest when a man is fawning like a puppy, true enough.
It wears thin after a short time... but there are girls who eat it up with a spoon.
I agree.

When there are cookie cutter women & men in the world,
there will be cookie cutter answers.
thumbs up
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Utah dating
countrygirl62
Taylorsville, Utah USA
Posted: Jan 5, 2008, 12:34 PM CST
In response to:
I agree with some and disagree with some.
I really have outgrown needing to feel butterflies. That was grand when I was 16, but now, if I feel that butterfly feeling, I tend to be more cautious. I prefer a man who makes me comfortable in my own skin, at ease when I’m near him.
Sense of humor is a must. Laughing in life is important.
It used to be I didn’t need to be shown affection in tender ways, but after dating someone who can’t show tender affection, I realized how important it really is to me. I don’t want to be rough-housed and slapped on the back and treated like one of the guys.
I don’t understand the whole split the bill split the meal thing. I’m impressed by an old fashioned guy who pays the bill. I’m also impressed by a man who simply orders my food for me. “She’ll have the….”
Having him go out with my friends? What’s this? Like on girl’s night he tags along just to serve as a token? No. I definitely don’t want that. Although I do want him to be involved with my family and friends, I have no need to “show off my catch.” He’s a man, not a fish.
Small gifts are nice, not necessary. Same with cards. Compliments are even better.
Calling me on my own behavior is great. It’s forthright and it shows he won’t be manipulated, nor will he tolerate misconduct.
Trust is vital.
Feeling loved in a natural state is imperative. If I can’t be ME, there’s no point in the relationship.
Yeah, what she said!conversing

Except for the butterflies. I usually do not get the butterflies when we first meet, rather after our first roll!blushing
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Posted: Jan 5, 2008, 12:42 PM CST
In response to:
It's a lot to digest when a man is fawning like a puppy, true enough.
It wears thin after a short time... but there are girls who eat it up with a spoon.
I agree.

When there are cookie cutter women & men in the world,
there will be cookie cutter answers.
I certainly agree with you there, Spicey. thumbs up However, there are too many cookie cutter men and women out there. Even those that do not fit that cookie cutter mold might look like they do. Sometimes it does take the Hubble to discern the differences.
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capigirl
San Diego USA
Posted: Jan 5, 2008, 12:43 PM CST
I think women are too much into women's lib. now, this confuses guys, and women , let men be men, they know what we want and need, is when the woman wants to wear the pants , things fall apart, and then women get disappointed for not getting what they wanted.

Let men be men, let them lead, and see how far we get with them,
be ladies, real men adore real women!!!
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Aseeker
Seattle USA
Posted: Jan 6, 2008, 11:56 AM CST
capigirl "I think women are too much into women's lib."
I agree to the extent that it is just plain rude to give a guy a dirty look just for having enough manners to hold the door for them. Heck, at least guys don't do that to me when I hold the door for them LOL Just common courtesy, not any kind of belittlement.

" now, this confuses guys,"
What doesn't ? LOL
" and women ,"
I think a lot USE it to bully instead of being confused. If anything, it is the men that have turned into complete weaklings, EXPECTING the gf to be like mommy and pay the bills, that confuse women. They claim we wanted the rights to be equal, and confuse that with being meal tickets.
" let men be men,"
Definitely! And please, the daddys that remember how, please teach your sons.
" they know what we want and need,"
RFLMAO, the fact that this OP asked if the article was even accurate, kinda proves they don't.
"is when the woman wants to wear the pants , things fall apart,"
Sorry, but known too many men more than happy to do the "housewife watching soap operas" all day thing, because there are now plenty of couples where the woman makes more money. And no, they don't even clean the house LOL usually forget that is part of the deal LOL So just depends on the two partners and how they work together.


"Let men be men, let them lead, and see how far we get with them,"
LOL Reminds me of how my father used to say, "A good woman will follow her man anywhere." After my ex had put me through hell, daddy knowing all the details, the next time I heard him say that, I popped off with, "Well what if it's through the burning gates of hell?" He has never uttered that line in my presence since.

"be ladies, real men adore real women!!! "
Good luck coming up with a definition for what that would be, and be applicable across the board. Just can't pidgeon hole people like that.
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Louth singles
AutumR
over looking a meadow, Louth Ireland
Posted: Jan 6, 2008, 12:28 PM CST
~~~Thanks Skimpydoo,

I have to say I agree with 98% of it.

wave
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