Thread:

If you loved someone could you/have you

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Sex & Dating
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If you loved someone could you/have you

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bajanblue
Speightstown, Saint Peter Barbados
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 9:16 AM CST
In response to:
I don't think anybody could just say no, and that's that, no argument. There are situations where it's perfectly possible to love someone yet have sex with somebody else.

Sometimes, particularly in a long relationship/marriage, love and making love gets lost in all the day to day dramas, and being human we need a little loving from time to time. I'm not saying that people actively go looking for it, unless you are a serial philanderer, it can often happen accidentally when you are at a low point. I would go further and say that it may not always be just about sex but to have a feeling of intimacy with somebody and a confidence boost.

I have read of people with partners who sadly are unable to make love for a number of reasons and such are their physical needs, they have to find that satisfaction elsewhere. It doesn't mean they do not love their partner and sometimes they have come to a mutual agreement about it.

If sex is not important to you then all is well, do not judge people for whom it is important and try to recognise the difference between, as I said, serial philanderers and others.
I'm not saying that people actively go looking for it, unless you are a serial philanderer, it can often happen accidentally when you are at a low point. I would go further and say that it may not always be just about sex but to have a feeling of intimacy with somebody and a confidence boost.



I believe that if this type of feeling is coming up when I am in a "committed" relationship with the promises that entails, I need to do some serious re-examination of what is happening in said relationship.

I have to say this - the image of tripping and 'whoops there you are...' is so funny - I have never been able to have sex accidentally, and while I can agree that in cases of inability on the part of one partner to perform at all an agreement can be reached, if fidelity has been promised that promise should come before personal desire.

Lacking sex with a partner is not the same as lacking food, water or air.
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shipoker55
St. Petersburg, Florida USA
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 9:19 AM CST
In response to:
had a sexual relationship with someone else?
yes.! to both!
innocent
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fireliter
Allen Park, Michigan USA
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 9:19 AM CST
In response to:
I agree with Aries.. If I am in love with someone.. I just don't even *SEE* anyone else.

It's like tunnel vision for me
tunnel vision thumbs up

I like that descriptionthumbs up
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raavana
gampaha Sri Lanka
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 9:22 AM CST
In response to:
Me too..

Monogamy is practically my religion.. (long before I was ever even cheated on - not 'because' I was)..

I am ragingly passionate and deadly serious about it.



hey ..please tell me ..what is this ''Monogamy'' ? dunno
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Eupho
Wild Wild South West, England UK
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 9:22 AM CST
In response to:
hey ..please tell me ..what is this ''Monogamy'' ?
Being faithful to one person
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Jan1305
(Moscow region temporarily), Murcia Spain
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 9:31 AM CST
In response to:
I'm not saying that people actively go looking for it, unless you are a serial philanderer, it can often happen accidentally when you are at a low point. I would go further and say that it may not always be just about sex but to have a feeling of intimacy with somebody and a confidence boost.



I believe that if this type of feeling is coming up when I am in a "committed" relationship with the promises that entails, I need to do some serious re-examination of what is happening in said relationship.

I have to say this - the image of tripping and 'whoops there you are...' is so funny - I have never been able to have sex accidentally, and while I can agree that in cases of inability on the part of one partner to perform at all an agreement can be reached, if fidelity has been promised that promise should come before personal desire.

Lacking sex with a partner is not the same as lacking food, water or air.
I agree entirely, the relationship does indeed require some serious evaluation if one or the other feels the need to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere.

What I was trying to say is that people shouldn't judge so quickly those who have been unfaithful.

I think you have taken far too literally my previous comment about accidental sex and I believe you knew exactly what I meant. A lonely person in a relationship can meet somebody accidentally and the sex may or may not follow on from that meeting.

I also agree with your final sentence, it cannot be compared to a lack of food, water or air, however, for some people it is a very important, even necessary ingredient for a contented life.

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morganlee
Qawra, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 9:39 AM CST
I really have a problem that when a person has been unfaithful, they seem to think they can say 'sorry' expect to be trusted again and act the the injured party, when this instantly doesn't happen.
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riyablossom
somewhere .. , Pennsylvania USA
Posted: Jan 4, 2008, 10:07 AM CST
In response to:
I don't think anybody could just say no, and that's that, no argument. There are situations where it's perfectly possible to love someone yet have sex with somebody else.

Sometimes, particularly in a long relationship/marriage, love and making love gets lost in all the day to day dramas, and being human we need a little loving from time to time. I'm not saying that people actively go looking for it, unless you are a serial philanderer, it can often happen accidentally when you are at a low point. I would go further and say that it may not always be just about sex but to have a feeling of intimacy with somebody and a confidence boost.

I have read of people with partners who sadly are unable to make love for a number of reasons and such are their physical needs, they have to find that satisfaction elsewhere. It doesn't mean they do not love their partner and sometimes they have come to a mutual agreement about it.

If sex is not important to you then all is well, do not judge people for whom it is important and try to recognise the difference between, as I said, serial philanderers and others.
Thats a Deep thought Jan !thumbs up

Real life isnt as simple as a yes or no.. I have known people in such situations.

Personally , For me , its a big NO !!
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