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Most important... not to do anything that would require forgiveness.

Hi Eupho

The memory is very selective on what it wants to remember. This is to all of you. So you may say; well I'll forget but somethings you never will.

With that said Eupho I don't forget the past either.

Its human to make mistakes !!

That too, we are after all only human.

You simple can't make your self forget . You can only decide wether you can live with the memories if you can you best walk away

Is it right to continue to discuss them ..

True, but not all of them require forgiveness.

Nope.

That can lead to the poisoning of the relationship.

If you can't put these errors to the back of your mind and allow yourself to move in within the relationship, then move on without the relationship.

IMO, no. Continuing to discuss them is a sign that forgiveness wasn't granted.

I forgave my (ex) husband for all the things he said and did ..

because it didn't effect HIM, how I felt.. it only hurt me.. and it stopped me moving forward.


It was faaaaarrrr easier to forgive and let it go. (though it DID take me a few years of wishing his every conceivable gruesome death )

But as soon as *I* forgave him in myself.. I felt a million times better.

and yeah.. for the most part I HAVE forgotten it now too.. but I'm not IN a relationship with him, so it was easier to do.

I'm not sure how well I would do at forgive and forget if I was IN a relationship.. once the rot sets in for me its the beginning of the end.

Sometimes it's very difficult to forget. Unfortunately, it's almost impossible to "try" and forget something as the act itself reminds you of the situation. It's a quandry~

Missed you last night Riya...

Oo me too!... my mind is choosey over what it remembers too.

It's true (I think)... about how you may not always remember what someone said.. but you will always remember how you they made you FEEL.

hope u r doing fine ...

I agree with you there. Once trust has been betrayed, there's no getting it back. The question then becomes whether or not you want to stay in a relationship with someone you can't trust.

gawwwd!

How THEY made you feel*

I would NEVER do that again.. life is far too short to be messing about in something you don't believe in 100%.

IMO

Me neither. I have a "zero tolerance" for chearters.

I'm pretty certain trust can be re-established dude...total trust as well.

An open mind helps...the ability to reason through the multitude of negative emotions.

Most importantly, it's the attitude of the offender...their sorrow and contrition.

Sadly, that carries over to future relationships, I do believe.... (baggage) People think they can put things in the past, but we are a sum of our life experiences.