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Either great minds or fools...



Someone got very upset with me once because although I acknowledged their apology I did not offer forgiveness. I was very hurt and any words of forgiveness would have been meaningless at that moment.

Result? A repeat and escalation of the same hurtful behaviour. Forgiveness is not something to be dispensed lightly, as for forgetfulness...if you live long enough you forget all the losers anyway

I forgave my (ex) husband for all the things he said and did ..

because it didn't effect HIM, how I felt.. it only hurt me.. and it stopped me moving forward.


It was faaaaarrrr easier to forgive and let it go. (though it DID take me a few years of wishing his every conceivable gruesome death )

But as soon as *I* forgave him in myself.. I felt a million times better.

and yeah.. for the most part I HAVE forgotten it now too.. but I'm not IN a relationship with him, so it was easier to do.

I'm not sure how well I would do at forgive and forget if I was IN a relationship.. once the rot sets in for me its the beginning of the end.

forgiveness means you no longer embrace the hurt and choose a healthier 'I have learned' attitude.

I'm pretty certain trust can be re-established dude...total trust as well.

An open mind helps...the ability to reason through the multitude of negative emotions.

Most importantly, it's the attitude of the offender...their sorrow and contrition.

If they own their behavior, and obviously know what they did wrong, then you have an accountable person ... people who won't see or admit are far less apt to change anything.

forgiveness is always a very personal thing, and one should never rely on others for it 'affirmations'. jmho

Forgiveness for me.

To forget is impossible...we just try to do our best to put it to the back of our minds so as not to allow it to influence our best intentions.

If they own their behavior, and obviously know what they did wrong, then you have an accountable person ... people who won't see or admit are far less apt to change anything.

forgiveness is always a very personal thing, and one should never rely on others for it 'affirmations'. jmho

What is more important in a relationship : To forgive or To forget ?

Unfortunately, and contrary to popular belief, women are the only creatures with "feelings"..

It's usually easy for me to forgive and move on. only true forgiveness works with me...to forgive is to let it go and hold no resentment or bring it up again and again..if thats done then there was no real forgiveness just the words not the actions.

forgetting is a whole different story at least with me, depending what it is of course. somethings are not meant to forget, somethings you cant forget, somethings are stupid to forget.

I dont no longer seeing them go hand in hand.

Forgive for yourself so you can move on...forget the deed...BUT not the lesson!!!!!!!

Hi beb,



i am agree with your first statement

i am agree with your second statement in some appointments too

only the third point we are different...

In Germany we say: forgive and (!) forgetting

..and I think you can (!) say, they will go hand in hand...because only when you forget you also have forgiven real...if not, it will be still in your brain - and once a day a similar situation - it comes back ...



that´s real love ...

yeah what she said^^^

traveling light is the choice for me too



cant dance carryin a bag-o-bricks