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Question for all...
Last night, after work, I joined friends at a nearby bar, where we ultimately stayed for hours. I drank, but not a lot (plenty of water, nursing and sipping slowly, etc.), so I left in good shape, while others remained and some were completely wasted. I live very close by and go by foot almost everywhere in the area. Others had their cars and lived further away. OK. So I got home and soon afterwards, I received a call from one of the men (a friend who had previously made it clear that he wanted to be more than a friend, but I don't feel the same way and we had talked about it...I thought he understood that there was not going to be anything more than a friendship between us). Anyway, he called and said that he was totally blitzed (as I know he was...he had way too much to drink) and asked if he could come over and sleep on my couch for awhile. I knew that he had no business driving and I also knew that this man would not just take a cab home and deal with his car another time. I did not want him on the roads, so I told him he could come and he could have the couch. This is what a friend SHOULD do, isn't it??? He came over, I brought him a pillow and led him to the couch and left the living room to go to my den, where I have my tv and computer and such. Now I will speed this up...he got up after only 20 minutes or so, came in to the den and ultimately made some very inappropriate and highly unwelcome moves. And there was a bit of forcefulness which was somewhat alarming to me. I pushed him away, immediately went to the front door, opened it, and told him to get the F out. I grabbed the "panic button" that our embassy provides us, which would have brought security personnel here immediately if I had triggered it, and I stood with the door open until he left.
Now...finally...my question. Was I a fool to allow a man to come here, knowing that he wanted to be more than a friend? Or, was I being a friend to him by not allowing him to drive home? And, even though I won't have him here again, should I never let someone come and sleep on my couch if they are wasted if I know that they have an attraction or interest in me???

Oops...nasty one.

You did the responsible thing...you weren't to know he'd bahave in such a manner I suppose.

Dear me...sounds terrible.

I don't think you were a fool. HE was, but you weren't.

I feel you were definitely being a friend.

But personally seeing how men are i think once they are interested in you it takes a conscious and understanding man to be just friends. Most people normally dont get that part so i believe. Its difficult for them to stay platonic.

So, maybe i would have been kind too but with the caution alarms on high alert in my head before i offered him a couch.

No what has happened here is that your FRIENDSHIP was abused. you were doing the right thing where he was doing the wrong thing. Should you let guys stay at your home that are wasted. To be honest its probably not a great idea. But its their problem not yours. Be careful and stay safe. Alcohol changes people.

Certainly unpleasant and unnerving, anyway.
By the way...he called this morning to apologize, which segues a bit to the other thread about forgive and/or forget.
In this case, I will forgive him, but I won't forget...this requires remembering, so I don't let my guard down with him or do or say anything to him that he might interpret incorrectly.

Live and learn~~~

Nice gesture, but I'd not do it again....he's responsible for getting himself intoxicated, not you.

IMO....if you have a guy staying over who has designs on you anyway, you gotto expect that he will try something.....unless he respects you, and you know him well. Anyone has enough money in their pockets to get a cab....you did the right thing, but latin men can't be trusted in matters of the flesh....oooh, I know I'm gonna get flack for that....

Men do have the ability misinterprete a friendly gesture as more....

Absolutely !!!

Hey Jeff! (I LOVE that!)

IMO no.. you were not at fool AT ALL... You did what any decent friend would do.. HE took advantage of that.. no only that, but he scared you too..

It wouldn't stop me letting a *wasted friend* stay over again.. but for me I think it WOULD make think twice about allowing in if I knew they 'liked' me. Soo I doubt I would.

You're 'Friend' has some serious apologising to do IMO.

sorry that your night ended like that, he will probably apologise...blame the alcohol and hope you keep it quiet
If I was in your position I would have hit the button and let him explain himself to the security guards.....it would make him think hard about doing something like that again

I am not sure that I have ever interacted directly with you, Riya, but I have always enjoyed your posts. You're a gem.

Why couldn't he take a cab???

Just curious....

Yep I agree

I have always loved the way you express and i admire you too.

Here I am, keeping it quiet...on the Internet!!

I had a similar thing happen to me in similar circumstances..didn't want the person to kill himself or someone else on the road.. do I think i was a fool.. I think I was naive in assuming that he would be a gentleman.. its just too dangerous unfortunately.. I was talking to a judge recently and he was telling me that the vast majority of rapes involve alcohol and are by persons known to the victim.. thank god nothing bad happened to me.. I was pleasantly surprised just how tough I can be if backed into a corner.. but hell I would NOT do the same thing again!!