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Well found out both my self and my friend were seeing the same guy so we both turned up to meet him Never seen someone go so white. My friend and i fell about laughing went to the bar. Some guys up by the bar asked us what we were laughing so we told them, They were nice so we both dumped him and went off with the new guys

While out with my ex wife and 3 other couples at a mexican restaraunt, after dinner and a few margarita's the conversation turned to strip clubs and there was some debate between the sexes over the morality of it all, you can imagine the back and forth across the table.

It was my "turn" to give an opinion so I began, in a raised voice to be heard over the music, to say "I really think they're a waste of time and money" I shouted, "There's a cover charge to get in, a two drink minimum plus however much money you stuff into the G-strings of the women you can't touch and probably wouldn't want to based on where they've probably been" The music stopped just in time for the entire restaraunt to hear me yell "I'd rather be home jerking off to porn!"

every head in the restaraunt turned, then laughed (except for some of the older patrons).

At least we were finished eating.

now thats funny

thanks, it's a true story

thanks it made me laugh on a boring Sunday night

Timing is everything

If you gave her 3 opportunities, you are just too nice.

Once upon a time I got all dollied up and pranced out to my car heading out to meet the possible man of my dreams...

I had a convertible at that time, it was a hot sunny day but I wanted to be perfect...so up came the roof of my car to cover my long locks of hair that I had curled for hours... I even used Honey Nut oil in my hair so he would love the glint and think of me always when he came near honey...

OH yes.. I had it all planned.....

I was wearing a beautiful white sun dress, low cut, to give me an exotic sensual innocent look... my eyes were coated in a fine creamy pale pink... within hints of silvery glitter to add to my "MYSTIC" look....

Oh yea... I Could cream the jeans of a man as I walked down the street.. he was going to be in AWE of my appearance......and POOF I would wow HIM with my ability to deal with my job....

He was a beautiful, tall, slender, well spoken man, and he was PERFECT..

I walked in, heads turned our eyes met.... his lips parted as I knew I was looking WOW that day....

He stood up; pulled out the chair.... my pale flesh and skimpy high heels were all flowing, man I had it going on.... My hair brushed past his lips as I sat down into the chair and I could hear him breathe deeply from the honey nut oil I had carefully massaged into my hair....a low groan…

We chatted, ordered, and then I had to sneeze... I could not let this happen.. it would break the PERFECT evening..... I held it back.... took a deep sip of my drink.... choked and it cam flying out all over him... Including a "BONUS" chunk.....


FOCK.... we never went out again.


My life is over... that is why I am still single..........

Met a lady on a blind date, at expected time, at expected place with expected heavy brown coat; me with expected black coat and beret, said our mutual hellos; went to have dinner at a nice restaurant; we were both comfortable and easy going with each other; great topics over dinner. She travelled a lot and I did also. It wasn't until 2 hours later, coming out of the Chamber Music Recital that a chance remark about her being employed by a newspaper that I had thought she worked for a travel agency. She thought I worked for a Courier Service...seems we each met up with the wrong dates at the right place and time, went off for a lovely evening...We both called our respective correct dates that had returned home, apologized profusely and made a date for all of us to meet a few days later. Had a great time...and a great laugh at the perils of such casual introductions and misleading/ misinterpretations of situations ...all began well and all ended well...%D

Does a date with the doctor count,cos its quite funny?

Had to go for usual "ladies check up" Had a shower then decided fem deodorant was needed. Didnt have any so went to my daughters room to use hers. Grabbed the pink can and had a good old spray then dashed off. At the surgery knicks off legs in the air (blushing like mad) it got worse when doc and nurse were trying hard not to giggle.

Got home and told daughter the story from start to finish. She looked puzzled and said she didn't have fem deodorant. I took her to her room to show her that she did in fact have some. Oops..........





Disco Glitter Spray in Barbie Pink.

That's a good one.

Now that's damn funny.........I can't top that one~






At least one I'd share on here.

Excellent. Wish I'd been there.

HYSTERICAL!