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Thanks Blue down to 15, then the wait is finaly over

Actually after gettin into the friend zone , the approach i think is no where different.

One can always admit his fascination and ask her out. Its easier to say yes to a friend i think.

I'm glad to be in the zone

I've learned a secret to impressing women that I'm going to share with you. It's a secret that probably not 1 in 1,000 men knows or will ever figure out on his own. The reason that most men will never figure out this particular secret is that it's too obvious.

Let me explain...

I personally think that most men feel a very powerful desire to impress women. If you watch the way a man behaves when he's talking to a woman he's just met or a woman that he's on a first date with, you can see it. Maybe you've been there yourself. I know I have. Many, many times, in fact. The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually comes along with another feeling: DON'T SCREW THIS UP.

Here are some of the signs that a guy is feeling the need to "impress" the woman that he's talking to:

1) He tries to only say "cool" things, or things that will "impress" the woman.

2) He acts nervous and stilted during the conversation... sometimes coming across as "formal".

3) He tries to figure out what the woman wants to hear.

4) If he says something that the woman doesn't like, he "back-pedals" and tries to change what he said to suit the woman.

5) He doesn't say anything "risky", doesn't tease the woman, and doesn't do anything to upset her.

...in other words, when a guy is talking to a woman that he "likes", he's usually on his "best behavior", and he's trying to "put his best foot forward". And this drive to impress often makes them act unnatural.

There's your first hint, in fact...

THE SECRET...

STOP TRYING.

If you will just stop trying to impress women, women will NATURALLY be "impressed" by you. Trying to impress a woman doesn't impress her.

So let's break this down...

What's wrong with trying to "impress" women, anyway?

To start with, everything. When you intentionally try to impress a woman, you send the following messages on a "subtle" level:

1) I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I will try to "impress" you instead.

2) I'm not comfortable enough around women to just act normal.

3) I don't have a lot of experience with attractive women.

4) I'm insecure.

5) I don't know how to make women feel comfortable with me.

Ouch! But it's the truth.

Women can tell instantly when you're "trying". The conversation doesn't feel "normal", you body language is strange, and you can't seem to have a regular conversation.

Now of course, I've just described the way that about 99.9999% of men act when they're first talking to a woman that they "like".

Are you ready for a profound insight?

Here goes...

Most men do this with attractive women most of the time. In other words, it's old news. It's boring. It's predictable, and it does not impress at all. The bottom line is that trying to impress a woman usually has the opposite effect. It not only makes you look like a nervous guy who can't make normal conversation... it also bores the hell out of women.

OK, so you're out having a cup of tea with a beautiful woman you just met a few days before...

She asks you what you do for a living.

Should you answer with:

1) "Well, I'm an engineer for a software company that makes sophisticated vector widget plotting algorithms. I've been with them for three years, and I'm about to be promoted to Algorithm Manager.

2) "I'm a booty double. Have you ever seen it in a movie when a hot actor has to reveal his naked ass? That's my job."

...?

Well, it all depends on what outcome you want. If you want to try and IMPRESS the girl with your cool high-tech job, then #1 will work just
fine. Unfortunately, it won't impress her at all, and it will make you sound like a jackass who is trying to sound cool.

If you want to actually impress her, try #2. Most men don't have the balls to say something like this when a woman asks a "serious" question like "What do you do?". If you really want to make a long-lasting impression, keep the humor going.

She'll say "No, really... what do you do?". Answer with: "No, really. Haven't you ever seen it when an actor needs a stunt ass? I mean
hey... someone's got to do it".

The most IMPORTANT thing you can do to impress a woman is make her feel a powerful emotional attraction for you. Humor, and confidence both give of good feelings. These feelings will stay with her long after you have left and gone home. And it's the one thing that will make women pursue YOU... and try to impress YOU.

Well Riya I would argue this point but I think I would look kind of moronic arguing with a woman about what women think LOL

So with that said I will just back out slowly and keep my dignity.

no shadow... thats my personal opinion having noticed a lot of friends feel comfortable that way . you can always say what you think.
Really no problems.

Friends is GOOD..... if their is chemistry nature will take its course!!.. friends is perhaps the best basis for something.. cause even if there is no chemistry u can still enjoy each others company.. chemistry alone.. as we all know.. can fizzle out

Good luck to u.. worth the wait if it is to be in my book

thats the way to be shadow....

I find that if you are going to be in a friend zone, as it were, there's probably a reason for it. Maybe it was just meant to be that way.

Looked at another way, consider it sort of a win-win situation. One of the best friends I have ever had (have, actually) is a woman back home in Detroit.

Wow! You sound like you know what you're talking about here! Good post!