Posted: Jan 8, 2008, 11:09 PM CST
As many here know, I consider myself to be a self-proclaimed expert on the topic of kissing; not only expert, but also startlingly original - so original that I have seriously considered applying for a patent on some of my more novel techniques.
But kissing, as all true snog-aficionados know, is not so much about technique as about heart. That's why I believe in performing vigorous exercise before making out. Not only does it get the heart pumping, but the sweat can both exude sexy pheremones and serve as a pungent lip-lubricant as well.
The tongue cannot be overrated, either. A weak, limp tongue is a definite turn-off, so I strongly recommend tongue exercises for anyone who aspires to be a true Soul-Kisser. I actually fashioned mini-dumbbells made out of toothpicks and fishing weights to flex and tone my tongue. As a result, it's so strong now that I can easily dislodge a lady's tonsils or teeth. Just imagine what it's capable of elsewhere. LOL.
The same principle applies to lips. Soft is great, but nothing beats powerful lips in a make-out contest. After years of training, I can literally bend pennies with my lips. Few things can thrill a lady more, believe me.
But I'm going to stop here, because I'd prefer not to give all my secrets away, and also would prefer not to appear immodest.