In response to:
THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS:
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an
idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt
road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No
matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust
on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why
they smell funny to you. But they smell like money
to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Rt. 70 goes
east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We
have $250,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are
driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in southern Indiana waves. It's
called being friendly. Try to understand the
concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck
and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of
your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to
your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread.
You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at
the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer
season. It's a religious holiday held the closest
Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all
women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the
menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's
Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main
dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three
spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We
don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that
stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be
brown, wet and served over ice.
14. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better
be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have
long hair.
15. College and High School Football is as
important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a
dang site more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the
water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State
Universities, Community Colleges, and Vo-techs.
They come outta there with an education plus a love
for God and country, and they still wave at
everybody when they come for the holidays.
18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy,
Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If
you do, you will get whipped by the best.
19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That
thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't
want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
boxers. Refer back to #1.
20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard -
it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it,
and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from
the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska, worst case
you may have to live a whole day without croissants.
The pickups with snow blades will have you out the
next day.
HMMMMMMMMM....Sounds just like the rez code of ethics!!!!!!!!!!