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You mentioned that he gave you a handful of paperwork....what does the paperwork state? Is it just a petition for custody or do they list grounds for the petition? If there is a reason given (valid or not), then you can combat the reason with your own facts, possibly without having to hire a lawyer (but I'm not suggesting that you won't need one; just suggesting that you don't hire one right away....do your own research first, such as about the laws in your state). His lawyer tells him he has a good shot. OF COURSE he will say that. He certainly wouldn't be his lawyer if he told him that he thought he couldn't win. But in all cases, someone is going to lose and it likely will be him, unless you can be proven to be unfit to raise your child. You're going to need money for that baby, so don't start handing too much over to a lawyer unless this is potentially a real issue for you, not just a whim on the part of the father.
And don't engage in too much banter with him. Say nothing, offer nothing, keep him guessing.
Having said all of this, I am a firm believer that a child needs both parents (again, assuming that neither is an abuser or is ill-fit to parent the child). I believe I read that you were going to do the same (file for full custody), so perhaps he got wind of this and came at you with a pre-emptive strike. Is there no way that you can work out a reasonable visitation schedule for him so that he doesn't feel that he is being locked out of his child's life?

Lena

Maybe try a different approach and come up with something that suits you both.. Being the dad.. he DOES have a right to be in the babies life. (whether the mum likes it or not)

If he feels like this.. then he is PROBABLY always going to be on your *Ass* about it.

You could take a deep breath... hold your tongue.. (and ask him to do the same) Have a good talk with him.. both lay your cards on the table and see what you can both agree on.


It's soooooooo much easier for all of you that way..

Than the (possible) miserable YEARS of fighting,

that only hurts you ALL.

Find a good lawyer and fast and pardon me for saying this......HES an a$$hole

I don't know what it is like in the US but in Ireland it would cause difficulties yes...

Excellent advise.. although I would still seek legal advise and try and propose a reasonable access arrangement.. at the end of the day kids benefit greatly from having both parents in their lives...

The paperwork wasnt anything really towards me just a couple of papers to volunteer to sign over custody and a bunch of lawyerish crap on his reasons which is basically cuz he made a life to far away to be apart of it and he has a gf down their and doesnt wanna leave.

Be very careful here. Don't let pride or present circumstances stand in the way of ensuring that your child is taken care of properly for at least the next 18 years. I don't respect women (or men, for that matter) who try to rake someone over the coals regarding child support, but the basic support needs must be met and you may find yourself in a situation some day that may make it extremely difficult to provide for your child. I hope this won't be the case, but one never knows. Raising a child as a single parent is tough and the expenses are incredible. Don't shoot yourself in the foot.

Yep.. that's how my ex and I handled it.. (after years of wishing each other death).. haha

The funniest thing of all.. is that he argued like MAD about seeing the kids... and when I gave the visiting options to him (ANY time etc)... on a PLATE....

he soon lost interest..

The kids are lucky if they see him every few months.. he calls to talk to me.. never to them

This stunt he pulled could easily be construed as psycological abuse. Things like this don't sit well with family court judges. If this shock to your system caused you to have a miscarraige there would be no custody case but a possible manslaughter case.

He would be well advised to think twice before jeopardizing the health and welfare of his unborn child (the very thing he's fighting for) by doing things to the one who's carrying the child which would cause the loss of the child.

I've been in a very similar situation and there is nothing quite like having a top notch lawyer handling this for you. Don't go it alone!

Having said that, Family court judges are not so inclined to automatically award custody to the mother as was common years ago. Keep this in mind. Just because you're a woman doesn't garrantee you will win custody, sorry but this needed to be said.

I agree. You can try that and if he still wants to be an unreasonable SOB then i say don't do him any favours. Okay you don't want things to get unpleasant but it seems to me he is the one who is being unreasonable and unpleasant about the whole thing. Why should you make things easy for him (i.e. put his name on the birt cert) when he is making things so awful for you? It may sound immature but he is hardly being mature about it either....

I agree

So the papers were drawn up in Texas? And he is the one who moved to Texas?? And you live in California?? Sounds to me that it is not a very likely positive outcome for him.

He could always move. There are guys out there that would move heaven and earth to be more of a part of their child's life. It's not yours or the child's fault he decided to move. The best interests of the child is what is important here, not his. It sounds to me like he just wants everything his own way.

It's a bad situation for sure but right now stress is definately not needed,you need to think of yourself and the baby first and foremost.
If your dad can handle the legal side for you,let him.

In a pefect world both sides would be able to sit down a talk things out but I don't see that happening at this moment.
Protect urself and the baby first then worry about the rest.

That is very likely the case. I didnt' think he'd be able to do all this in TX.

I think one of the things with him is when i was with him he was pushing so much for a serious serious relationship it was really smuthering. Then it got to the point that everyday i was driving 45 minutes just to bring him a god damn sandwhich and he'd make me out to be the bad guy when id be like ok how about you either buy one or make your own in the morning i aint a friggin catering service, and he was pretty manipulative as well. It felt like i was being groomed into this house wife which no offense to anybody but that isn't what i wanted.

It is common to find a lawyer that will say you have a good shot when you don't. A car salesman will sell you a car that you really can't afford; as long as you pass the credit check the rest is your problem. Lawyers have to sell their services too. Across the nation courts typically favor the mother. Sad to say I've seen judges award custody to women I wouldn't leave my dog with. Just keep your nose clean take good care of your child get an attorney, and you'll be fine.

Sounds like a big control freak. It really sucks when you do something nice for someone sometimes and then they just end up taking you for granted. You begin to think why did i even bother?!!

hey hun take it from me i have a son with a girl who tried to not let me see him and yes i tried for full custody and got laughed at by the judge you dont need some high priced lawyer just find a decent family practice attorney she shot down my high buck lawyer with a basic attorney and just to prove my point i am in the national guard trust me that will not give him any hold over you. the USA in general still will always give the mother priority custody over the father which sucked for me but will def. help out in your case

oh i'm so sorry lena , that sounds like hell you are going through. Read through most and it sounds like he's trying to pull a fast one trying to get you to sign something so as so many have said dont!!! Cant advise anymore then has been said....

get good legal advise asap cos i dont think you will relax til you know where you stand no matter how had you try.

remember you have lots of friends and if you have the backup of your dad to that goes for a solid family unit on your side too so dont worry