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Oh believe me... I have a warrior side.. don't believe for one minute that I am not a strong man.. but even the best of us has our weak moments... and sometime we reach a breaking point.. all that means is that even under this tough exterior, i'm just as human as anybody..

Just because you feel something for someone doesn't mean that they have to return those feelings. If you keep trying with someone who doesn't want to work with you on it, chances are they don't return your feelings, nothing you do or say is going to change that, you can't talk someone into loving you and if you continue to try... well it's called stalking, and it's not pleasant for either party.

Daniel I do not have a clue as to what you have tried or amount of effort you have applied to succeed at this quest or item you seek.

If what you say is true words from your heart... you Danielhave reached an impasse, a crossroad in your life as you know it.

Change your methods or path that has thus far gotten you no satisfaction or peace of mind.

Whatever change you make your friends (real) will be there.

The good thing about yesterday,...is it is NEVER coming back.
...Today is present,so treat it as the gift it is.
Life is choice,
...my yours be that of who you want to be.
Lite be with you....:)

You are not telling me anything I don't already know, but you don't know all the detials of what went on, and I am not going to go into them.. I had my reasons for why I did what I did, and that is all I am going to say about that... thanks though..

Thank you starlite...

Great post Daniel it is amazing to see the various natures, reflected due to you standing open for all to see...and I see that you are speaking now to the positive defending yourself revealing others weakness' where they tryed to take advantage of yours ...I'm not trying to sell you anything...I just think It speaks volumes towards your true self....

I am so there with U, Not having someone to tangle Ur legs with at night is very hard to accept. I have put myself into my own personal hell on earth. I am in love with a woman who is 800 miles away and cannot get myself to let her go and find someone local. I go to bed everynight figuring this is my purgatory. Here I must wait until I have earned my way into that heaven I know what waits for me if I am patient. It could literally be 2 or more years until I can lay there every night, until then I have CS and an occasional date. As for U, I feel that if U stop pushing and looking so hard and present Urself as a "Man ready for life" in Ur everyday life, it will fall right into Ur lap. There are just as many women out there going about their daily lives that are just waiting for the right guy to fall into their laps also. It always seemed to me in the past that when I stopped looking is when I found it. Trust in Urself If U have a feeling about someone in public, go and introduce Urself That's not pushing - it's confidence Big, Srong Handsome and CONFIDENT she won't be able to get U out of her mind. Ur going to be fine She is out there

most here thin im a genuine bee
so ill just proceed w/ my input

rejection is gods protection
(this can be a comforting thot after a near miss at a relationship
if you actually place your life and nurturing in His hands)

if you want something different, do something different

i get so tired of all the people that insist on remaining in a victim mentality
sometimes cloaked in 'doing so much for others' but in all that
'wonderful person 'doingness we are not feeding or re-filling ourselves

no one is a hero
sometimes its best not to help everyone and
get out of gods way for that person

a self image of i give to everyone else and yet my life is so empty
thats an easy one to figure out
its simple math
and it is possible to recover from that way of living
which as youve stated isnt living, but existing
doing for everyone else the majority of the time
isnt living-its creating a weak facade for ourself
and others of how great we are

imagine the healing we could do and the insight we would have,
such as knowing when and when not to 'help'
we can be kind AND not necessarily help. sometimes a few of those
or just one from someone who the person holds dear
will be another stepping stone to that persons awakening...

its not our job to fix all, whether they ask or not
its ok to give comfort period and not advice
its ok to say i am taking care of me right now
but i know your situation will end up perfectly...

if we are empty what do we have to give
all we do by continuing that way is one of two things
stroke our ego by appearing so helpful
or two, keep helping so we must not get quiet
and seek our own guidance. be still and know.
lean not on your own understanding.

life is for the living.
giving it all away is not living

i say these things as i have had to face these things in my own life
and change my behavior dramatically to have joy and peace

no matter what any say-this post is meant to comfort
because these changes are possible
but only the one offending themself, and the gift of life
can change them
no one is going to magically appear and fill us up
if that happens it will only be temporary-
it would only be a role reversal for awhile,
and again we are left wondering-whyyy am i not fulfilled

2 halves do not make a whole in a healthy relationship
and neither do no boundaries, no self care
or feeling some role/need/desire/obligation to help everyone...
so we will be appreciated-
a healthy example is a much better gift to others.

best to you
remember if nothing changes nothing changes
and no one can truly change themself except themself.

what we want is not always what we need and what we need is not always what we want..........



and what we get never seems to be what we need or want.......





just my thoughts here.......

good words

hello jodi


theres already what is sometimes called
'terminal uniqueness' at work here

i didnt see it b4 i posted my useless post
lest i wouldnt have


anyway i am sorry you are hurting
when you want to live differently
it will take practice, feel weird and cause some waves
but it is possible
and truly, if we have no fuel what can we give?

All the postings have been great....can't really add anything.....just know that your friends DO care and I am proud to be considered one of your friends Daniel.

Hi ELANA....



good to see ya love .......


dont we all suffer from terminal uniqueness...

seems everyone wants to be like someone else....this is why are societies are becoming mannequinned....( soon we will be overrun by plastic people bought with plastic cards) all in the name of fittin a norm...

I would rather be unique and be me than try to fit into or be
what society thinks i should be....


fightin all the way for my right to be who I am and maintain my uniqeness ....



you go girl......







elena

Daniel, I'm sorry you're down. I wish I could give a hug as big as that white tiger.

dana

Very true, and much food for thought... thanks

I don't want to be like anybody else, I can only be who I am.. and that is all.. I will get past this, as I have always done so in the past.. this is just one of those times when I have shown that I am just as human as anyone else...

Btw.. thanks to all of you that have posted that I haven't replied to...

aren't you dedicating too much time in finding her?That can depress us you know?
Try to look around you most of the time...i mean, in real life...?

btw by terminal uniqueness i mean being defensive
and saying but but but
you dont unnerstand

its different for me/this situation

that kind of thinking that may keep us from trying
whats being suggested at any given time
because "our situation" is sooo different
what a crock
what a sad unnecessary way to remain in the same crap...

Hey Daniel:

I haven't been on CS for long at all, but in this short time, I sure can spot the genuing people from the phony ones, and you are a very sincere person, you know that song " EVERY BODY HURTS SOME TIME"

i don't know who sang it, but it sure hits home, we all have been there, hell, i got taken just this last year by such a charmer, he had every one fooled, even my boss, my mother that passed away, my friends, and on top of that he put me in debt.

My problem is I never take the hurt and the negative from a previous relationship to a new one, and i certainly don't believe in giving 50-50, I truly believe, you should give it 100%, and give it all you've got and
if it doesn't work out then you can't blame yourself.

now I am so scared of even getting into a relationship, the last one really did me in. So what is one to do?

do you become heartless, and treat every one like piece of sh..., or do you chuck it up to experience and leave it alone.

I am with you brother, just vent all you want, at least this is like free therapy.

I don't want to believe all the good ones are taken.

take care,

Kathy