Thread:

I can't find my enlightenment.

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I can't find my enlightenment.

Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 3:04 PM CST
If there is one thing that keeps me believing in a god, it’s seeing people who have changed…
from bitter to happy, from self-centered to loving, from lazy to motivated, from reckless to concerned,

Being the pragmatist I am, abstract reasoning is a bit lofty for me. I have found certain truths in life.
Being kind to others does not make others kind toward you. Being cruel to others does not make others cruel toward you. We see it daily in high schools. The meanest girls are often the most popular, have the most things, get the opportunities, get the success. etc. We see it more in the real world.

I see a man who was a drinker, a drugger, a selfish and reckless man. He hurt others and cared not for the consequence or pain he caused. He was bitter toward the world. The world owed him something. Life’s unfair. Who cares. Why bother.
He was angry. He was resentful. He was cynical. He was indignant. until…
he wasn’t.

For no particular reason, and not due to any particular circumstances, or crisis, or supernatural phenomenon, or intervention, he changed.

I can sit and peruse the psychology books all day long reading theories of personality development.
And there is no practical answer.
X personality + Y circumstances doesn’t = enlightenment.

It’s frustrating to not have the answer. I consider myself a decent person, but I could definitely use some attitude adjustment. I could be more motivated, take initiative more. I could be less lazy, less skeptical. I definitely be less passive and more assertive. But every time I try to enforce these things into myself, I can’t seem to stick with it. I actually have had more luck dieting than I have being a good person.

I want my enlightenment and I can’t figure out the scientific method of acquiring it.
I went and sat in the woods and waited on it, but all I got was cold.
I went to a church and kneeled at the alter, and all I got was sore knees.
I read, and researched, and wrote. I’ll probably end up with carpel tunnel.
I got in a funky yoga position. I stared at a candle. I contemplated a proverbial riddle. I hauled water.
And I can’t find my enlightenment.

I’m not jealous of the reformed druggie criminal who found his enlightenment. In fact, I’d have to say I’m happy for him.

But I want mine too.
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England singles
trish123
Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 3:09 PM CST
Maybe its in being content with the search and letting go of the need for absolutes - maybe its about embracing everyone (metaphorically of course) with respect for the stages of their journey - i have no answers but sure have some maybes - good luck with your search wave
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st712
Cheshire UK
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 3:16 PM CST
to the o/p..I aint gonna read all that mrs
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CuspofMagic
Space/Energy---, Piedmont Italy
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 3:17 PM CST
Yes--- the seeking of absolute Truth--- is a daunting task for mere humans --- acceptance that we are organic is a start
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UnluckyGuyinpa
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania USA
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 3:22 PM CST


Most of the time we cannot find what we seek the most. I'm as practical as practical can be. I consider myself a man of science and logic but I can tell you from personal experince that I have indeed found my enlightenment. I wasn't looking for it nor was I trying to apply logic or science to find it. It just happened. I don't know how and I don't know why, but I can tell you it has changed me as a person.



While I wasn't a drug addict or alcoholic, I was one of the meanest, cruelest non-caring,cynical people in the world. you name a bad quality and I problably had a little of it. Then as I said it changed. I struggled for years to try and understand it, how it happened, where was the logic, the science? I couldn't wrap my mind around it no matter what I did. I came to terms with it as best I could by letting it go, which I can honestly say was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

I know that this doesn't give you the answers you seek, but if it does anything I hope it reaffirms your belief that it can and will happen to you.

I wish everything could be logically or scientificallt proven or solved. But my own logic dictates that it is an impossability, the evidence surounds me and is undeniable.

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starr6114
mitchell, South Dakota USA
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 3:26 PM CST
Check under the bed. That's where I found my mind the last time I lost it. I had put it in a shoe box under the bed and forgot it.grin
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HJFinAZ
Sun (Sin) CIty, Arizona USA
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 3:41 PM CST
But I want mine too.


Patience is virture........wink


hug
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Aries01
Dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 5:03 PM CST
In response to:
If there is one thing that keeps me believing in a god, it’s seeing people who have changed…
from bitter to happy, from self-centered to loving, from lazy to motivated, from reckless to concerned,


I think that maybe you know the answer already.. its out there... just have the courage and trust to grab it.... so much in our life is outside our control.. if we learn to just trust and go with the natural ebbs and flows of life.. u would be surprised... we can waste an awful lot of time worrying.. judging.. seeking and never get anywhere...


cheers
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 5:30 PM CST
you don't go to enlightenment

it comes to you

when you least expect it..........teddy bear
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martyg
Dublin/Kildare, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 5:34 PM CST
ha ha ha...I have it...


chase me!!sticking out tongue leprechaun
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prncss4someone
Hopeful, Michigan USA
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 6:04 PM CST
heart wings see what I mean?drinking
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bajanblue
Speightstown, Saint Peter Barbados
Posted: Jan 15, 2008, 7:22 PM CST
I practice zen and I think the whole point is that we never find enlightenment.

Enlightenment descends on us like a coup de foudre and stays awhile or goes away again.

Once in sesshin (an extensive and intense group meditation session) I had a moment of total awareness and this unplanned unwanted huge belly laugh just erupted from somewhere down by the soles of my feet while just two tears trickled from my eyes.

I walked around for three days feeling as though I was wearing my skin inside out.

Then the lights dimmed again.

It was an interesting experience.

Just keep living. enlightenment will catch you when you are not looking
.day dream happy place
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