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Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50 or hovering over 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to be nice and conform to the fashions that the designers in NYC, California, and/or Paris inflict upon the world.

So I made a sincere study of the situation and here are the results. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together:

1. A nose ring and bifocals,

2. Spiked hair and bald spots,

3. A pierced tongue and dentures,

4. Miniskirts and support hose,

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads,

6. Speedos and cellulite,

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar,

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor,

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge,

10. Bikinis and liver spots,

11. Short shorts and varicose veins,

12. In-line skates and a walker.

HAHA, I saw a lot of that at the Aerosmith concert I went to. Especially 4, 9, 10 (well they were wearing swimsuit tops to an indoor concert w/ mini skirts!)....

and here I just mastered that art of remaining upright on my inline skates while pushing my walker. Oh well, have never been much of a fashion buff anyway. . .

Ok, ok, now I am really confused..

How about "pierced" dentures with a gold ring?

And the support hose with my red and white plaid shorts?

The ankle braclett is from the Sherriff's Dept., they call it a monitor..

What if I use a BB ring bigger than the scar??

Unbottoned shirts ok with the long bypass scar?

Is my "Speedo" ok with the midriff bulge, liver spots and varicose veins??

And BTW, yhe inline skates do work with the walker as long as you also wear leg braces..

Obviously, you have never been to Sun (Sin) City, AZ...

That was some funny stuff scottishlass!

I have to admit it, I almost did the miniskirt support hose thing. I swear I almost did it.

And then I looked in the mirror and said "For crying out loud, I'm either wearing the support hose or the miniskirt but not both! Who am I trying to impress anyway? And why would they be impressed with this combination?!?"

So I went out in jeans instead.
Much more comfy.