Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

I don’t get the good-bye threads. I’m not referring to any one in particular, because I see about 3 of these pop up every day. Not just here, but other internet message boards also. They usually go like this:
“I have to say goodbye to all my friends. It’s been a great journey and learning experience, but my heart just can’t take the ache it feels when I’m here. Thank you all so much for all you’ve done and been to me when I needed it most. Farewell.”
And then a litany of responses follow that all pretty much say “You’ll be missed. Please don’t go” yadda, yadda…

But… realistically… if the person really did leave, they wouldn’t be around to see the responses, right? So why respond? That’s kind of like someone calling you and after they say goodbye and hang up the phone, you continue to talk to the dial tone saying “Please don’t hang up the phone.”

In addition, if someone had well-thought out that leaving was the most rational, logical, and best choice to make… wouldn’t they also logically give their contact information to the people they DID want to stay in touch with, and there would be no need to draw the entire forum list into it?

They rarely ever leave for good. They come back 16 hours later with “You’re right. I just needed to clear my head.”

It’s hard to see these kinds of threads as anything more than a little pity-party the person was having for him/herself. Psychologically, this is very manipulative behavior. They needed some affirmation that people would miss them. They needed some confirmation that someone out there was reading their words. They needed some assurance that they had an internet friend or two. Quite plainly, they needed some attention. So instead of saying, “Hey. I am really feeling lonely and need some of my friends to help me boost my self-esteem and confirm my self-worth.”, they use emotional manipulative ploys to tug at people’s heart strings by making people think they are losing a friend.

So I guess what I am wondering is, why are people so easily pulled into this type of behavior? We certainly wouldn’t tolerate this type of manipulation from our children, or family, or real life partners, or co-workers. Why fall for it online?

"But… realistically… if the person really did leave, they wouldn’t be around to see the responses, right? So why respond?"

The people leaving normally give a 'grace period' of say one day to allow time to receive the reponses.

thats true girl...sometimes maybe they just want to let others know there leaving so no questions are asked....hmm could be anyways...

personally when I go, I will leave without a trace...i dont like goodbyes, not my thing...

Well,when I said goodbye, I was trying to do what was right. Because I was in a relationship..not in love, yet, but in a relationship. That relationship fell apart a few days after I posted. So I came back on! I really thought that..well no, I was fully committed to this woman. But we were not compatable after all. So, you may have seen this as a "false" leaving. But I left because it was the right thing to do. Then came back on because it was the right thing to do.

ship yours was different...you were leaving for the positive at the time, not for pity or wanting others to beg you to stay...yours was good...i wish things would of worked out for you...but am really glad you came back...

When I go (and I've come close a few times already), I will just go. No announcement, no explanation. As you said, I will be able to stay in touch with those that have become my friends.

All I can say is.................well said.

I know what you mean ... I also know people who have played that very same card numerous times

I also know it does not apply to everyone who starts a goodbye thread ... My opinion : Live and let live ... After all no one forces anyone to post replies to threads they don't want to take part in ...

Hmm, do you think those are the reasons they start the threads if not leaving for a positive one?

well sometimes, yeh...

let me re-phrase....

there have been a couple that have left or taken a time out for very different reasons then for pity or recognition...those i'm glad for the goodbye thread so we can say what we would like to them in our own way. I'm glad they gave us the opportunity to let them know how much they mean to us and look forward to a return...

Ok.

I would not be caught posting in them if i thought they were for those reasons: Pity and attention.


I do miss DODs.

yeh i miss him too...very much

I'm sure when I LEAVE,THEY'LL BE A few who will be waving good-bye with the middle finger.....nothing new THEWALL2 hasn't experienced.


One,Two,is this mic on?



Now...........HIT MYYYYYY MUSIC!
















BREAK IT DOWN!

What about those who are always 'forcing', threatening and pushing others to leave the site?

Oooh, ooh , and those who 'prophesy' the booting of others for months even years?
Must be devastating for them to not see 'them' leave.

goodbye says it all lol

Forum Rule 15 clearly states NO GOODBYE THREADS.

And sometimes saying nothing speaks louder than any words could.

If every single forum rule was adhered to, 3/4 of the threads would have to be either locked or deleted!!!