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I know it's a great way to be told things I wouldn't like to hear, but i'm interested to know what people think of this, be honest, just not too brutal ok?

Belief

I see movement
Out the corner of my eye
If I look away
I see something go by.

When I open my eyes
It's as though it's not me
But when I shut them tight
I can finally see.

I feel a touch on my shoulder
As if I should believe
Who can trust one's senses
When reality can deceive?

In my confusion
I've been lost in lust
And through my travels
I forgot how to trust.

A typical stereotype
I became a prick
Forgetting my heart
And thinking with my dick.

Then through the years
Stronger I became
Fixing inner me
And releasing the blame.

Now life is all around me
And its bloody great
I'm a much better person
Even though i've gained weight.

But now there's something
Reminiscent of the past
Inside my minds eye
Outside the square so vast.

It's not in my beliefs
Though it was once before
Am I going full circle?
Do I re-open the door?

It's all about purpose
And learning of mine
Changing with the phases
Moving through time.

Is this middle age?
Am I over the hill?
Or is there more
Set to thrill?

Bring it on world
Open my eyes again
I'll try to be broad minded
Like I was back then.

Copyright joshtaal 2008

well if you want honest it sounds like your feeling very nastolgic and like there is something important that you learned and are about to share but then at the end it sounds as if your just about to go around the same circle again , but I did find it bringing images to my mind . hope that wasnt too brutal jmho

well I guess no news is good news??

I'll assume that people believe if they dont have anything nice to say it's best not to say anything huh?

No not too brutal, thanks omega.

Tell me, what images did it bring to your mind?

Speaking from a poets view its like you are wondering what is yet to come,reminiscent of things that happened some regrets,but yet are knowing in your minds eye you are yet to do something you know not what.But feeling weary about somethings,and wondering should you be that same person again.

Not bad honey, it is partially, but there is more.

Thanks for the comment

Hmmmm ... I found the poem interesting - it is like a confessional - as if you are speaking your thoughts out loud .... it sounds like you have been ashamed of things you have done in your past - but then you overcame the guilt and started to feel good about yourself. However, some sort of temptation has passed your way and you are thinking about doing something that you are not sure about - will it bring you joy or will it once again bring you shame ....

Personally I feel the poem would benefit being written without the verse regarding 'thinking with your dick' to much better effect ... it would leave the reader with a greater sense of mystery as to your meaning. But that is just my opinion - sometimes 'less' is 'more' if you understand what I mean?

I agree with this about the D**k statement

but for the most part the poem is pretty good..

good!! i like the sense of it... especially the following paragraph:

In my confusion
I've been lost in lust
And through my travels
I forgot how to trust.

it reflects a lot of what I personally have gone through... keep it up!!