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Deciding how the next Load of Bananas is going to be shared:
One for you,Two for me............

Hun, Guess what today is?

Well, Son, first you soak your arse, then you tickle your right paw with your right hand, and when the fingers on your left hand start coming together... then you know is time to stop soaking your arse...

" Hey Honey- we may be caged in here- but we still have each other! "

@%&#!&*$$$, We were going to attack iraq.

are you sure I am your son, Dad?

Why son?

because you still have thick hair while I'm balding.

Well,son....I carried you in my belly for 9 mos,then your big 'ole watermelon head came out of a hole this size!

"Those people from CS are watching us again."

"yes, I know"

"what should we do?"

"give me... *grunt... just a second... *grunt... and I'll show you..."

I'm telling the truth dad....i didnt poop on mr wilson's lawn...

Drink up my little ones we've got to get you big and strong so you can join uncle rufus and curly in the mountianous and forested regions of the green belt.....the more of us we get to distract those dumb humans from the impending doom this administration has caused the more the US GOV is gonna pay us....... we can finally get out of this point-and-shoot nightmare I'm getting bursitis and I can't fling pooh like I used to.........NIPPLE!!!! WATCH THE NIPPLE CLYDE!!!!!!

aww dad
first it was the no santa talk
then it was there is no tooth fairy talk
now its the facts of life talk

well if your gonna tell we dont shag when we grow up
i dont wanna know
iv nothing else to live for

Daddy!....why you so unhappy!


Aww son! They don't make viagra for orangutans.

It happened like this. I saw your maw in a strip bar picking up ping pong balls and shooting them across the room. Then.........

.....her ping pong gun broke. Since she wasn't busy...I asked her to have a drink. Thats how I meet your maw, son.

Unfortunately son,unlike you,my father never exsplained about the harm caused by continual masterbating.

Well! some folks is dirty minded that a way. Just ignore them and they will go to another thread.

"Invest, he says! Put your bananas where they'll do you some good, he says! Never trust a chimp! NEVER!"

Son I have told you be4,your father is gone for good.He was relocated to other zoo.Wish I could make you understand.





What's wrong Dad, the laxitive still isn't working?

Daddy... That frat was so bad,, I cant move a muscle.