Try this one the next time you get stopped by a cop.

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Scottishlass Knoxville, Tennessee USA
[top] Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:22 PM CST : Try this one the next time you get stopped by a cop.
While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other
side with a radar gun laying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know about, asked "what's your hurry?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work
side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously,"And just what do you do with a six-foot asshole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic ticket: $95.00
Court costs: $45.00
Look on cop's face . Priceless
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jpunk Edinburgh, Lothian, Scotland UK
[top] Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:28 PM CST : Try this one the next time you get stopped by a cop.
lmao!rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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OUTRAGEOUS San Juan, Panama Panama
[top] Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:29 PM CST : Try this one the next time you get stopped by a cop.
Scottishlass: While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other
side with a radar gun laying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know about, asked "what's your hurry?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work
side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously,"And just what do you do with a six-foot asshole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic ticket: $95.00
Court costs: $45.00
Look on cop's face . Priceless


That's just too good!
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p_seg Central, Xlokk Malta
[top] Thu Jan 31, 2008 1:47 PM CST : Try this one the next time you get stopped by a cop.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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jbibiza Ibiza, Islas Baleares Spain
[top] Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:31 PM CST : Try this one the next time you get stopped by a cop.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing I love your posts!!!!!hug
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VDLL1972 Rockin', California USA
[top] Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:08 PM CST : Try this one the next time you get stopped by a cop.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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lorax111 richmond, Virginia USA
[top] Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:41 PM CST : Try this one the next time you get stopped by a cop.
Well i've used all the other excuses and expect to get the opportunity to use this one soon. Wish me luck. I do anticipate some rectum isues in court however.


D
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irishlass45 Texas USA, Texas USA
[top] Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:53 PM CST : Try this one the next time you get stopped by a cop.
rolling on the floor laughing good one,I had no idea where you were going with that to start with,thanks for the laughdancing banana
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WeAreWhoWeAre between here and there, Ontario Canada
[top] Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:30 AM CST : Try this one the next time you get stopped by a cop.


I had this friend who was moving one day , and she had found her florescent green vibrator and had to stick it in her front pocket and carrying on with her moving . We ended up getting pulled over from an unmarked car , after going through the red light . He thought it was a stolen van cause the owner hadn't changed over plates from different provinces .
While he was sticking his head in the window , his lips were just a couple inches away from the head of the vibrator . By that time the two of us had forgotten all about it . While he was taking the drivers info , we noticed the look he kept giving us . After explaining to the officer who she was , he had this wierd grin on his face and still we didn't know why . After he let us go and we returned the van and told the owner about it , I looked at her pocket and burst out laughing .
She couldn't figure out what was so funny until I told her to check her pocket . She had pulled out teh vibrator not clueing in to what was so funny I told her what the cop had done . She looked at me funny and then it dawned on her . We had a good laugh over how the officer was going to write that one down , and what thoughts her brother would have after reading it . Her brother is also a cop , only he's the bigwig lol .
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