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A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the childinnocently.'
You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.'
You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move'

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'
The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out
and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,
'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.One little girl was wearing a
particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and said,
'That is a very pretty dress.Is it your Easter Dress?
'The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-onmicrophone,
'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'


A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,
'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....
'His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?
'The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.'
'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked
'Yes,' he answered.Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,
'What are you teaching my son in math?
'The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.
'The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?
'After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class.
She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.
She read, '.... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said,
'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?
'One little girl raised her hand and said, '
I think he said:'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'
'The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.