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are not men to expected to be more "in control" of their emotional side?

ermm .. I think its best to take one step at a time and reveal things like going with the flow ..

Initially .. i dont think its nice to talk about past hurts cos we arent sure about anything when a relationship is yet in the budding stages .. so gradually letting things unfold is best ..

But doesnt mean hiding or lying anything major ..

I think that is true!,,weather it is healthy or not ....I believe most cultures expect a man to not show emotion,,especially fear, sorrow,,blah blah blah,,, oh yea "Live Long and Prosper" hee hee
,,,,good question though!!
;-}
GP

Possibly ''men'' or ''women'' for that matter, should think about dealing with/getting over their pain before getting into new relationships..........just a thought

I could be wrong, But I think if you still have that much pain from a past relationship.. You are not ready to be dating yet.
got to give yourself time to heal first.
Rush into another relationship too soon,, you pretty much doom it to fail also.

Same for a man or a woman.

However, If you mean is it ok to talk to someone about it.
I would suggest talking to a RL friend to get it off of your chest, If no friends you trust with it, try a preacher.. just to unload. even if you don't believe, they are willing to listen and comfort!

But as far as a relationship, I would also question any new prospects!
If they have recently broken up, they to will be bringing in baggage that will most likely destroy any new relationship.
walk away and find someone else.

Thats exactly it!
Most people these days rush from one relationship to another so fast that they have NO healing time, Then wonder why every relationship fails.

No, don't do it! You'll be reviled and ostracized!

Excellent answer, sweetie.


And Riya, I've been meaning to tell you all evening. I love the new picture. Beautiful as always, dear.

I have a rule - that I broke willingly and knowlingly in the fall - not to be anyones "transition person." I've done that enough - be the person that gets someone past the heartbreak for them to move on to someone else. I just normally refuse to be that person.

We have all been hurt, that is why we are here now on CS.
Just depends on what we learn from it.

Im no doormat or gravy train..

I think that before venturing onto something else....we need to deal with, and process, issues and hurt first. No one deserves to be *dumping ground*. There are people called therapists to help with that!

Glad I could help....

You poor sick puppy! keep it up and we are going to have to worm you!

No-one should initially reveal their pain from a past relationship....In fact if it still exists then its better to remain single and spend time healing rather than looking for solutions in another person...
Friendship is something that builds over time and I believe the strong foundation that love can blossom from...openness and honesty are important but it is wiser to take the time in getting to know someone your initially attracted to...

You sohuld never reveal that stuff in the beginning. If you are asked about it, keep it short and simple. No one likes a person who open the floods gates of past emotional bad experiences.

Yea.............
I'm still looking for my next ex!

Nothin' more to add really...so well put!

Perfectly expressed!

men are human beings with emotions... and yes they should be shared, but only with someone close to them or someone they don't know and doesn't matter...it's cheap therapy and it's not good to hold hurtful things inside. because you become crowded inside and won't have room to love or be loved.... from...peaceinlove and i wish you all peace and love.

at first, FECK NO, women like powerful, strong men.
maybe later

only to your mom and sister