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Who's eady for the "Thread ending disgusting joke of the day"????

Yo mama is so fat that you have to take two buses and a train to get on her good side....

Hello
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Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob

Yo mama 's so fat that when she sits on a quarter a booger pops outta George Washington's nose!

( my meaning)

A man wearing a balaclava bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. "Open the f*****g safe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter. "But we're not a real bank" replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money". "Don't argue just open the safe or I'll blow your f*****g head off!" She obliges and opens the safe door.

"Take one of the bottles and drink it!"

"But it's full of sperm" the girl replies nervously.

"Don't argue, just drink it" he says. She prises off the cap and gulps it down.

"Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands. The girl drinks another one. Suddenly the guy pulls off the balaclava and to the girl's amazement it's her husband.......

"Not that f*****g difficult is it?" he says

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting finger** by Captain Hook.

******WARNING WARNING WARNING*******


The next post by goose contains the thread killing joke...




Hey Lush, you remember the insult thread we had going? How long before this one gets pulled?

OMFG!!! that's the funniest one I've heard in a while!!!

Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A. He worked it out with a pencil.

How about his one yo mama's so fat that the national weather service gives a name to all her farts

Whats a mean Jew ? If he found a bandage he would cut himself.

Ok, this is the last of my disgusting jokes, I've disgusted myself!

Two sanitary pads were floating down a sewer drain, and were approaching two tampons. Before the pads and tampons reached each other, one pad said to the other,

"Should we say hi to those 2 tampons?"

The other pad responded, "Err... nah... they're stuck up c*nts."

********* THREAD KILLING JOKE BELOW *************





















A pedophile an a little boy are walking through a dark woods. The little boy looks up at the pedofile and says,

"Mistaw, I'm Scawed!!'

Pedophile says, "YOU"RE scared?? I gotta walk out of these woods by MYSELF!!!'

You win.

DICTIONARY OF DATING

ATTRACTION... the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL... avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT... a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get".

INTERESTING... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT... what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY... how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love

To keep with the cat theme today yo mama so ugly that when she goes to the beach cats try to put sand on her!!!