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******WARNING WARNING WARNING*******The next post by goose contains the thread killing joke...

Hey Lush, you remember the insult thread we had going? How long before this one gets pulled?

Ok, this is the last of my disgusting jokes, I've disgusted myself!

Two sanitary pads were floating down a sewer drain, and were approaching two tampons. Before the pads and tampons reached each other, one pad said to the other,

"Should we say hi to those 2 tampons?"

The other pad responded, "Err... nah... they're stuck up c*nts."

DICTIONARY OF DATING

ATTRACTION... the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL... avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT... a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get".

INTERESTING... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

I don't drink but I thinks I might need to go get wasted!

IRRITATING HABIT... what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY... how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love

A Night At The Farmhouse

The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was no vacant room.
"I could let you sleep with my daughter," the farmer said, "if you promise not to bother her."
The salesman agreed. After a hearty supper, he was led to the room. He undressed in the dark, slipped into bed, and felt the farmer's daughter at his side.
The next morning he asked for his bill.
"It'll be just two dollars, since you had to share the bed," the farmer said.
"Your daughter was very cold," the salesman said.
"Yes, I know," said the farmer. "We're going to bury her today."

Difference between rude & crude:

Rude: Throwing your underwear at the wall.

Crude: Throwing your underwear at the wall, & it sticks.

Difference between rude & crude:

Rude: Throwing your underwear at the wall.

Crude: Throwing your underwear at the wall, & it sticks.

Difference between rude & crude:

Rude: Throwing your underwear at the wall.

Crude: Throwing your underwear at the wall, & it sticks.

How d you know God is a man?
Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.......

What does it taste like now?????

How d you know God is a man?
Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.......

Kissing your Granny goodbye and she slips you the tongue!