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What is wrong with having kids??

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What is wrong with having kids??

Amphoe Bang Kapi singles
trulymadlydeeply
Bangkok, Amphoe Bang Kapi Thailand
Posted: Feb 24, 2008, 9:49 AM CST



Love kids... and If Im hooked up with a guy with kids it's like winning Lotto.. buy one take all.lips
and its a plus in case I can't have one of my own.


wave
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shipoker55
St. Petersburg, Florida USA
Posted: Feb 24, 2008, 9:54 AM CST
if I met a woman with live in kids...I would run as fast as I could.

Who needs the added tension?? They will manipulate and try to control. Women have a problem with discipline. They set limits on how a "step-father" can discipline. Maternal instincts interfere with dealing with issues fairly. The man ALWAYS loses in these situations.

I have always said don't take anything I say seriously....this is an exception!!
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Wisconsin singles
lover65
Vero Beach, Florida USA
Posted: Feb 24, 2008, 11:23 AM CST
Kids are evil, I was one once, I knowgrin grin grin


Actually, I like dating women with kids. Most of the women that I've dated that had kids were great, and so were the kids. If someone doesn't date you because you have kids, move on and find someone who will. My girlfriend now has one daughter, and she is a great kid, she actually likes me, so it makes it that much better to be with her mom. dancing The rough part is finding time to be alone. kids kind of put a damper on that sometimes. Keep trying.
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Wicklow singles
CapeDoctor
Greystones, Wicklow Ireland
Posted: Feb 24, 2008, 12:13 PM CST
Call men selfish for being apprehensive about getting involved with a woman with kids, but you have to look at their life situation as well and reallise just how much it impacts on their lives too.

As a young single guy I think the following makes me uneasy about a girl with kids:

You know she's gonna have far less free time especially if her kids are young, you also know their's gonna be a biological father in the background! Then there's the issue of kids not accepting you as the 'new guy' in their mummy's life....

Call it selfish if you like but that's how I fear it is.
But in the same breath, if I really liked her and she liked me too, I'm sure I'd learn to accept everything that comes with the package;)
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WeAreWhoWeAre
between here and there, Ontario Canada
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 2:35 PM CST


That is one reason why I will ALWAYS make it clear to the man , my kids are my responsibility and no one else's . I do not want to be financially supported so therefore they wouldn't have to worry about that part . Also I wouldn't burden the man with the cost of my kids . And the way I see it , if the man really wants a woman that has kids , IT'S A PACKAGE DEAL. I
also make it clear that I do the punishing when they do something wrong.
That way he's not the bad guy and I play the part so well lol .
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Ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 2:36 PM CST
Love me...Love my kids or get lost...Plain and simple!!!!!!!!!

wine
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highplains
Highland Springs, Virginia USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 2:45 PM CST
I've dated some women with kids....with deadbeat dads.......

Amazing how a man feels when he takes a gal....with kids.....and attempts to raise them as his own....

Only to find the rugrats WILL NOT respect him.....or their own MOM....

Have ZERO effing discipline........and I mean ZERO....little heathens.....

the headache almost always anything that may be felt for mommy....

Baby Daddies....and all that sh*t......auggghhhhhhhhhh

Rare instance is it worth the aggrevation.....
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highplains
Highland Springs, Virginia USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 2:45 PM CST
the headache almost always NEGATES anything that may be felt for mommy....
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California dating
lenababi
Santa Barbara, California USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 2:51 PM CST
I would be skeptic to get involved w/ a man that has kids especially for attachment issues and such, and me being pregnant i wouldn't just bring anyone around my child as it is.
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Arizona singles
letitroll
phoenix, Arizona USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 3:05 PM CST
For 5 years I helped raise 4 kids starting ages 13, 12, 10, and 4.... They belonged to an old friend of mine whom when I met, I was 19, she was 17..........

She married, had 4 kids and divorced 14 years later....

After returning home, she had trouble making it because she had no skills but as a housewife....
Everyone turned their backs on her... mostly her family.... so she was stuck...

I offered to let her stay for 2 weeks.... I was single, and had the room.

She was tired, and the kids were fringing on disrespectful behaviors, so I gave them some solid guidlines, and eventually we bonded.

Her feelings for me were stronger than mine for her..... so I had to keep a plutonic relationship with her. We dated people, but not at the house..... the house was sovereign territory reserved for the family.
Women did not understand the situation as it were, but I eventually didn't give a dam what other women thought, the kids became that important to me....private school, music lessons, travel, camping, boating, fishing, skiing, they did it all......

What eventually brought a close to this, was a huge settlement that she recieved from a back injury on a job, and didn't tell me about it, letting me continue to pay for hers and the kids expenses.... when I did find out, I expained to her the breach of trust, and sent her down the road...... but it was really hard to give up the kids, no matter what, they were like the family I never had.....
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JoseyWales03
Walton, West Virginia USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 3:10 PM CST
It depends on the person....I married a woman with 2 kids and their father has not contacted them in 8 years, he had nothing to do with them before. I have no natural born kids of my own and I accepted these two boys as my own sons.
My wife and I got divorced a couple of years ago, but thankfully she had the wisdom to realize that I was the father figure for these two boys and we have a great relationship now. She allows me to assume fatherly responsibilities and I call these two boys, my "sons", and they call me their "dad".
You just have to find the right person with the right frame of mind. I am very proud of my two sons. Being a "father" is a biological fact that any male could accomplish simply by having sex. Being a "dad" is something that takes WORK, LOVE, AND DEDICATION!!

Just my thoughts.

Cheers all, and good luck in life
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Maine singles
arabella
Somewhere In, Maine USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 3:12 PM CST
Hence my post about Sisyphis....

Kids are a joy and sometimes a burden.

I have two grown kids who have lives of their own and support themselves just fine.

But my youngest will never leave home and has special needs that require "commitment".

Meaning I'm about to be committed any minute rolling on the floor laughing

My point is, kids come first and the discussion about kids should happen very quickly between adults who are hoping to find a LTR.
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Arizona singles
letitroll
phoenix, Arizona USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 3:14 PM CST
letitroll wrote:
For 5 years I helped raise 4 kids starting ages 13, 12, 10, and 4.... They belonged to an old friend of mine whom when I met, I was 19, she was 17..........

She married, had 4 kids and divorced 14 years later....

After returning home, she had trouble making it because she had no skills but as a housewife....
Everyone turned their backs on her... mostly her family.... so she was stuck...

I offered to let her stay for 2 weeks.... I was single, and had the room.

She was tired, and the kids were fringing on disrespectful behaviors, so I gave them some solid guidlines, and eventually we bonded.

Her feelings for me were stronger than mine for her..... so I had to keep a plutonic relationship with her. We dated people, but not at the house..... the house was sovereign territory reserved for the family.
Women did not understand the situation as it were, but I eventually didn't give a dam what other women thought, the kids became that important to me....private school, music lessons, travel, camping, boating, fishing, skiing, they did it all......

What eventually brought a close to this, was a huge settlement that she recieved from a back injury on a job, and didn't tell me about it, letting me continue to pay for hers and the kids expenses.... when I did find out, I expained to her the breach of trust, and sent her down the road...... but it was really hard to give up the kids, no matter what, they were like the family I never had.....



If you go to my profile there is a photo of the youngest with the dog that I got the kids..... he is age 6 at the time of the photo... cute...huh?
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Arizona singles
letitroll
phoenix, Arizona USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 3:16 PM CST
letitroll wrote:
If you go to my profile there is a photo of the youngest with the dog that I got the kids..... he is age 6 at the time of the photo... cute...huh?



Never mind... here he is.... I made him my primary
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Missouri singles
rasgumby
Moberly, Missouri USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 8:08 PM CST
letitroll wrote:

What eventually brought a close to this, was a huge settlement that she recieved from a back injury on a job, and didn't tell me about it, letting me continue to pay for hers and the kids expenses.... when I did find out, I expained to her the breach of trust, and sent her down the road...... but it was really hard to give up the kids, no matter what, they were like the family I never had.....


Thats one of the best points!
There are so many women with kids that just USE a man for the financial gain end of the deal, but still treat the man like shit!Use a man for years and leave for greener pastures when the kids grow up.

These are the type that make it hard for All of the women with children!!!!!

And if you think I am going to help raise someone else kid's, that to would be a mutual task.
How the hell can a woman expect a man to act like a dad but yet stand there and say.. You can;t disipline the kids?? TWF...
Almost always the woman says " They are my kids! It up to me" oh....But you want the guy around for the $$$$ and the easyier life!

The women have to decide to share the entire package! Not to split what the guy can and cant do.
If you expect a man to treat you as a normal family... you have to grow up enough to actually let him be a father!

If on the other hand the man is not smart enough to be a GOOD father. and you think you need to set rules.. guess what.. WRONG GUY!peace
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California personals
hrt4lse
Redding, California USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 9:00 PM CST
I'm somewhere in the middle here. While my kids were around, I was careful about introducing them to anyone because I heard the feedback from whenever they visited their dad & the new step-mom, so I didn't want to cause any more stress for them.

Then, my kids were basically stolen from me by their dad. After making the adjustments (not completely sure I have sometimes)...I've decided that I don't want to give birth to another child, so that's been taken care of.

I'm not adverse to dating someone with kids, and have done it twice. The first one didn't work out so well because I was the one with rules, & when I brought it up he felt I didn't like his daughter. The second one would've worked pretty good because he was a pretty accepting kid, but things didn't work out between his dad & I.

If a guy has shown an interest & his profile mentions that he'd like to have kids, I'm up front & tell him that I won't be giving birth anytime in the future, but that I'm not adverse to adoption. Although the more I think about it & consider my age, the more I'm thinking maybe not...lol

I have an aunt & uncle who chose not to have kids. I don't think their lifestyle would have ever fit with kids. I think I'm more at that point where I'd rather be able to have just me & a mate (if I still had my kids I'd be at the empty nest point anyway...one's 23 & one's 18).

So I can see it from both ways...being accepting of someone with kids and being at the point where I'm done with them. I get my fill at work since I'm around Jr. High kids all day. Just sometimes wonder if I'll know when I've been made a grandma & if I'll ever see them. crying
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Florida matchmaking
evie_girl_fl
Lake Wales, Florida USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 9:03 PM CST
casie1600 wrote:
Why is it that when a guy you think you might like finds out you have kids, they are suddenly not interested?? I dont understand!

Is it a fear of committment or maybe scared to share their personal time with the kids or what??

I would like to hear from some of you men why this is, as well as from women why they think it is!! I am sure these will be different responc

But I dont want any fighting at all over this subject, just a non heated discussion! I am just curious thats all!

Thanks in advance for any input!!


IT because they are not ready to deal with other people children.. However, the man/woman should learn to READ the profile BEFORE he or she try to contact her/him... professor wave
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HJFinAZ
Sun CIty, Arizona USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 9:13 PM CST
Kids..........44, 36 & 26(adopted one)...... I wonder how they are going to feel about calling a 22yo redhead (with big boobies) Mom...............sigh

sticking out tongue





hug
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Missouri singles
rasgumby
Moberly, Missouri USA
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 9:15 PM CST
HJFinAZ wrote:
Kids..........44, 36 & 26(adopted one)...... I wonder how they are going to feel about calling a 22yo redhead (with big boobies) Mom...............


You sound like DR King { I have a dream}sticking out tongue rolling eyes
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Ontario singles
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Feb 26, 2008, 9:16 PM CST
HJFinAZ wrote:
Kids..........44, 36 & 26(adopted one)...... I wonder how they are going to feel about calling a 22yo redhead (with big boobies) Mom...............


The same as my 16 year old kids will feel about calling some 20 year old stud....DAD!!!!!!!!


grin
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