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But it is fun as hell practicing conception!!!

Nothing wrong at all. I just wish I knew who and where they are...

true...lol

i am a single father who feels the same way you do.I think people don't want to deal with our baggage and definitively don't want to put up or raise kids that aren't theirs.it is sad but true.when ever i met someone and we started getting to know each other soon as my kids step in,that someone usually runs away.to be honest my kids come first,i am half the reason why they are in this world and they are not accepted no much i can do

With most people who have kids, I am sure there is a biological mom/dad in the background, not so much for me and my kids. My kids dad lives in Texas, 1000 miles away, and couldnt care less about having a kid. I dont get any kind of help from him, no phone calls, no visits, no birthday or Christmas cards, nothing. So, with me that would not be an issue.

The time issue about not having as much time, this is true to an extent. There are certain things that will require time to be spent with my kids, but who is to say that time has to be spent with just the kids, couldnt we all spend time together?

My kids would probably accept any one in their life since they have never had a father figure in their lives. When I date someone, at first I dont let them meet my kids at all. Then after a while if it looks like it might be a possibility of something long term, I introduce them as my friend and dont do any kissing or cuddeling or anything in front of them until they get used to the person... not that that has happened! I have been single since I had my daughter. I knew how hard it was to date with one kid, and decided it was impossible with two!! :) But now my daughter is 3 and I am almost done with college, so I decided to start seeing what is out there.

I am glad you added the last part. That is kinda the point I was trying to make, if you like someone a lot, then why should the children be the deciding factor? I have dated men with kids before, and I didnt feel the least bit thrown off course with their children, but that could and probably is because I have kids as well...

Thanks for the input from everyone, I know its been a few days!

Exactly! I am going to college right now, and I have always and will always support my kids. It is not a mans responcibility to take care of someone elses kids. Later down the line if it becomes a family, and he wants to help out, thats fine, but I would never pressure him to be the one to bear the financial burden of two children.
I play the part of the bad guy very well as well!! I prefer that I deal with my kids, not someone else. They are used to me, and I wouldnt want to throw them off, not to mention I wouldnt want them hating the new bf! It is not a mans place to come into a relationship where there are kids involved and have to be the disiplinarian- spelling??.. If my kids did something wrong while I wasnt around and the man had to take measures, i think putting them in the corner until I could deal with it would be ok, I wouldnt get mad or anything. Just sit them down and tell them to wait till their mom can deal with them...

See some single moms let their kids walk all over them, and I dont understand why they would do that. My kids are a little bad, but that is any kid! They all have to test the water and see what is acceptable or not acceptable, as long as the parent corrects the behavior when it occurs, and the child learns they cant act that way, then they dont get out of controll. All I have to do with my son is to take away his video games or allowence! That will set him straight and he will start cleaning the house and being really sweet to me and his little sister.
As for my daughter, she is only 3, and a bit spoiled at the moment, but she is learning that time out is not much fun, so she is starting to be good now. Not that she is bad, just bossy, she thinks she runs the house, she likes to boss her brother around, it is actually kinda cute right now, but I dont want her to do it forever, so I am working on stopping it now before she gets too big!
I have said before, as for the babies daddies part, not an issue for me, at all...

Thanks for the input though, it is nice to hear all the different points of view!!

Definately be careful of who you bring around your kids!! I never let a man know where I live or where my kids go to school or anything until I know him very well and trust him very well too!! Your childrens safety definately comes before any relationship!! I have always been adiment-spelling? about that!!

Being a "father" is a biological fact that any male could accomplish simply by having sex. Being a "dad" is something that takes WORK, LOVE, AND DEDICATION!!

Just my thoughts.

Cheers all, and good luck in life[/quote]


Exactly!!!

See I am the type of person who would adopt a kid just to help the kid out. No matter whos kids they were, I would accept them as my own, just to be there for them and give them alife and a family that loves them. I dont think of children as baggage, but I suppose for a person without kids this is probably exactly what they think.
My kids always come first no matter what, I let any man know as soon as I meet him that I do have two kids, and they are my life, so if they arent interested in children, they wont be interested in me. I spend my days at the park in the summer or camping, fishing, or hiking- even my three year old loves to hike! I have three nephews and two neices as well, so I am normally around a LOT of kids at all times! It doesnt bother me at all!! I love kids, I guess most parents do, its kinda a requirement I think!