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I often work with couples in situations like that.. and I do see no matter how much they love their partner.. sometimes.. resentment can creep in. Even if it only a teeny little bit at that certain time/day.

Other times where it has been an ongoing or progressing problem that needs some intervention.. and we have had to take it further... or offer more.. do more.. whatever is seemingly best at the time.

Sometimes it can be incredibly frustrating/upsetting for the able bodied partner... and so sad to see.

(as I know Mair and Morgan already know)

True love is that which does not alter when alteration finds... true love is that of an unconditional kind.... its a bit like a mothers love for her child..

How one behaves in response to one of the situations mentioned above is perhaps an accurate measure of how much he/she loved the person in the first place...

The question would be do u love that person enough?...

There is no doubt that a physical or mental illness will challenge and test a relationship.. and the truth is it would NOT be like it was before.. its really just a matter of how strong the relationship is...the person would essentially have to make the decision.. 'do I love this person 'enough' to want to look after and support this person for the rest of our lives'... for many the answer will be 'no' for some the answer will be 'of course'!!...

My Mum has Parkinson's and as someone who was in the caring profession i found it really hard to deal with BECAUSE i loved her so much. Maybe im just weird !

Yep I found it so hard caring for my Mother, and you have to fight so hard for respite.

No, I don't think it's weird at all, I think it's difficult to see someone you love struggle with something they used to do easily. I think it's hard on everyone seeing our parents get older and less able to do the things they used take for granted

nahh.. that's the problem I've had with my Liver cancer buddy Trish.. I work with people dying a lot.. I always know what to say and do.. (even those WITH liver cancer).. But when Trish got it.. my mind went to MUSH.. and I have been completely lost for words.. never once thought I had found the right thing even to say.. yet almost daily I have found the words for 7 yrs.
This has shown me that it's definitely different when its someone you love.

I don't think your weird at my lovely. My mother had Parkinson and later went on to devolved Alzheimer's. Found it extremely hard to cope with it. As i knew what to expect because of my job.

My sister is an alcoholic and this i find difficult as i deal with addiction in work.

I feel sometimes too much love spoils it too..

Definitely if it was someone i truly loved .. it wouldnt matter one bit and i would be rite next to him ..

But on an broad perspective .. in case of a loved one involved.. it is really difficult to handle as such ..quite bearing on your ownself mentally ..

(my mum died of alcoholism.. and my grandmother- I know alllllll about that)

I have found i felt so guilty because i couldn't handle it when as you say when working i always knew the right thing to say and do.

I know it wouldn't bother me if my partner lost limbs.. (even all of them).. wheelchairs.. had prosthetics and all that.. (i work with that too haha).. Or really.. the use of their 'Tackle' ... I think I would still feel the same.

I think the thing that I would struggle with the most would be mental illness of some kind.. or some kind of mental deterioration... if I couldn't talk to them in the same way as I had before.. over time I think I would find that hard.. I think then the 'love' would (eventually).. turn into a different kind of love.. one more of care and concern... and not 'Love' love.

If that makes sense

so true ..

No Morgan.. you are not at all wierd !!

In my work dealing with accidents is routine ... but when my little bro. met with an accident i knew what to do and i can easily detach from my emotions.. but for once for a min. I Did feel so giddy and blank for a while ..

haha I know.. strange isn't it.. you would think we would be the best people to deal with it

If you're "pursuing" a relationship, then no, I would break off the romantic element of it. If I'm already in love, then it's too late. I'm hooked for the duration. It would be impossible for me to abandon someone I loved.

Mair... that is realllyyy difficult !!!

Thats it.. when the chips are down.. you know what to do and it all kicks in .. 'detached'

(until after )

IMO Alzheimer's is one of the MOST cruel things.. to the family.

The person WITH the Alzheimer's (over time).. seems perfectly happy living in their own little bubble... while everyone around them is left forgotten and heartbroken. It's a sad and very cruel illness imo.

same here

Helloooo

true .. but we land up all lost in those moments ..