Thread:

A few Laughs for a Blah Monday

Category:
Jokes & Humor

A few Laughs for a Blah Monday

Maine singles
JewelLiz
Yarmouth, Maine USA
Posted: Mar 3, 2008, 4:20 PM CST
Golfing On a Windy Day

The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivees?' Ole demanded.

'Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.'

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies.

'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers. Why not?'

She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'

Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!'

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

'Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?'

She too explains, 'You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.'

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb.....Tidy yerself up a bit.

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Scotland singles
lonelygirl1
Glasgow, Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: Mar 3, 2008, 4:24 PM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Scotland dating
Highland_Laddie
Glasgow, Strathclyde, Scotland UK
Posted: Mar 3, 2008, 4:26 PM CST
HAHAHAHAH very good Liz love it .......thumbs up
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Maine singles
JewelLiz
Yarmouth, Maine USA
Posted: Mar 3, 2008, 4:31 PM CST
Here's a few more....
Speeding in Ohio :
1) Good:
A Fremont , OH policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem. A twelve-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" . . . and a bucket full of money. (And we kids used to just sell lemonade!)
2) Better:
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Canton , OH . A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
3) Absolute Best:
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Ohio State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball." He replied " Ohio State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.......
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Islas Baleares singles
jbibiza
Ibiza, Islas Baleares Spain
Posted: Mar 3, 2008, 4:36 PM CST
All were good, but number 3 was brilliant!!!rolling on the floor laughing
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NordrheinWestfalen singles
issopui
Siegen, Nordrhein-Westfalen Germany
Posted: Mar 3, 2008, 4:37 PM CST
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Maine singles
JewelLiz
Yarmouth, Maine USA
Posted: Mar 4, 2008, 1:29 PM CST
THE YEAR ' S BEST (actual) HEADLINES

"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"

No, really?


"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"
Now that ' s taking things a bit far!


"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"

What a guy!


"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"

Those good-for-nothing ' lazy so-and-sos!


"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"

See if that works any better than a fair trial!


" War Dims Hope for Peace"
I can see where it might have that effect!


" If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"

Ya think?!


"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"

Who would have thought!


" EnfieldCouple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"

They may be on to something!


" Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"

You mean there ' s something stronger than duct tape?!


" Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge"

He probably IS the battery charge!


" New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"

Weren ' t they fat enough?!


" Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"

That ' s what he gets for eating those beans!


" Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"

Do they taste like chicken?


" Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half"
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!


" Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors"

Boy, are they tall!


And the winner is....

"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"

Did I read that right?

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Scottishlass
Knoxville, Tennessee USA
Posted: Mar 4, 2008, 1:48 PM CST
rolling on the floor laughing sticking out tongue rolling on the floor laughing sticking out tongue rolling on the floor laughing sticking out tongue rolling on the floor laughing
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Sindh dating
vintagerock
karachi, Sindh Pakistan
Posted: Mar 4, 2008, 1:54 PM CST
applause cheering thumbs up rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

thanks they totally made my day!
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Xlokk dating
p_seg
Central, Xlokk Malta
Posted: Mar 4, 2008, 3:54 PM CST
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