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This happened to my brother.A girl that he had been dating for 3 months told him the other night that she thinks that they should just be friends again.He did not know why because they told each other they loved each other and fell head over heels with each other despite the fact they lived 8 hrs from each other.She did not talk to him at all yesterday then finally did and told him that she messed around with another guy.There was no sex but they did mess around.It was in the guys cry and it was this weekend.Well she did then stop talking to my brother until late last night.He asked some questions.He found out that it was more then once.He does not know if more then once that weekend or what.He did not ask that.She does not know if she still loves my brother or wants to be with him still or wants to be with the other guy.She says that she is confused.She only talks to him right now through text messages because shes not in the mood to talk on the phone.Whatever that means.She said that she has been blank all day yesterday too.She is really confused about things.

I am trying to give my brother advice on this but I do not know anymore what to do say.He is heart broken and hurting.I have never seen him ever cry as much as he has yesterday.Can some of you please give your thoughts on this?

Thank you.

How old is your brother and how old is a girl?

My brother is 27 and this girl is 26.

not to sound contrite....but he is old enough to handle his own problems!! Butt out!...JMO

Just be there, and listen to him. Dont go down the road of offering advice or talking badly about her. If they do sort it out and get back together you would end up the bad guy.

It is hard not to offer it, because he ask me what he should do.I tell him to just follow his heart.He says that right now he can not do that.It hurts too much to.I guess I am just asking for thoughts on this more then advice.Does that make sense?

actually i have been in simular situation ... it took me 5 moths to understand that I do want to be with my (recent boyfriend). He proved his Love by being persistent but not clingy... he gave me plenty of personal space. Well .. we were staying in Friends with benefits type of relationship for 5 month.

I do not know ... but i feel that it would be a not bad idea for your brother ...

1 To have an honest, open conversation with a girl about whys? and Whats?
2 To leave her alone to ... to give her time to sort her feelings out.

and btw if he will have guts to leave her alone for some time ... it will enhance her desire to be him. Women and some men are a strange creatures ... The less we love the more we get Loved

It is hard for me too when he comes to me to talk about it.Being my younger brother I am going to be there for him.I think it is just part of being an older brother.

I have and our other brother (whos the oldest), and his gf almost wife has told him to give her time and space, but he says he feels like if he does that then he will lose her since they are 8 hrs apart.

This is the only way to find out about true feelings and desire to be together. Life it is!

Even when someome asks advice of a loved one,they usually arn't going to listen and it can come back on you.If it's his1st heartbreak,we all go through it and hopefully come out better for it in time.At least she's being honest with himIf she's confused,she has a right to take her time,better than if you told us this and they were married!

It is his first heart break.I have told him that he will get through it.But he does not believe me.Imagine that.Yes I am happy for her being honest with him and not trying to hide it from him.Women are confusing and this is why I fear of having a daughter.You never know what is going through their mind and if it is a good thing when people say just give them time.

Yes I told him the thing that everyone hears once in their life.Let them go then if they come back to you its meant to be and if they do not then it was not.(Well something along those lines).

If he were my brother I would advise him to keep going and not look back; they are supposedly in love and this is what she does? Very sad indeed; God works in mysterious ways, tell your brother that and hopefully he might understand. Oh and do keep him busy, going out together and doing things he enjoys.

[color=red]Hi there,
Firstly I’d like to commend you for being such a first-rate big brother, sometimes we all need a friend like you. Personally I think that the girl in question is just playing with your brother and his intense feelings. I don’t feel by what you have said that she has any intention of staying your brother’s girlfriend. The fact that she is already messing around with other guys seems that she is not either, mature or faithful enough to be committed to your unfortunate sibling. All you can do is be there for him, try not to be too harsh or judgemental in the things that you say about her because it is more than likely that you will only push him away in the direction of this girl. I wish you both the best of luck and hope that your brother’s broken heart mends soon.
Esperella xxxxxxxxxxx[/color]

ship! behave yourself,and be nice Tell this young man that from the day we are born we have approx 27000 days from when we are born,I did a thread pertaining to this,and the days of approx do NOT include incidents of death,wrecks,cancer,etc.make him calculate how many approx he has left and ask himself if he wants to spend one more day hoping she will WISE up,he will get the pic,lord knows after waking this morn to find I had not gotten any mail from a certain somebody I chose to blow it off snap! and he should too,communication is an absolute,if they are now down to texting only now? then she is no longer interested,that is supposed to come at the first of the relationship and progressively work toward phone calls.Good luck and let us know what is going on,will look for your thread,God Bless

I agree

I would tell him to follow his HEAD and not his heart at this time.

He deserves someone who is crazy about him, and wants him, and knows it. If that were true of this gal, she would have never messed around in the first place, and never demoted him to 'friend'.

i've had some experiance with this kind of things but am no expert.

i dont know what your brother should do but i can tell you what i would do: As much as it hurts, i would turn the other way, cut off all contact and never look back. Come on, the girl didnt even have the good heart and descency to meet with your brother (more than once if required) and talk things over with him to make it easier for him.

From what i have seen in my lifetime, i would have sucked up the pain now to prevent the future pain later.

I dont know what your brother should do, i know what you should do: Take him out, have fun, fool around. It helps.

Read what you wrote very clearly... she is screwing another guy and letting him go. tell him to face it and move on,, otherwise, she will leave him just hanging on the side,, just in case she looses the other guy.. then she will do it all again.