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Fuming

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Fuming




FlowerOfTheSnow
Malaga, Andalucia Spain
Posted: Mar 20, 2008, 5:51 AM CST
jbibiza wrote:
My ex husbands new wife tried that on me in person... I told my ex to put a muzzle on his b*tch or I'd knock her off her stool.



Same thing happened to me but by phone ... I just burst out laughing so loud my sides were aching!!! She got really upset and put the phone down on me!!!

I was later told by my ex that she was really upset and cried for a while and that I was really thoughtless to have laughed at her as she was only trying to help!!! So I laughed at him too!!!

She never tried it again!!! And he never gave me anymore lectures about being thoughtless to his new lady!!! laugh
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FlowerOfTheSnow
Malaga, Andalucia Spain
Posted: Mar 20, 2008, 6:05 AM CST
diogenes wrote:
Does it realy actually matter? No, it doesn't; she is only four. She doesn't fully understand the significance of family names, and how and when they change in our culture. Her name isn't actually going to change anyway, even if her mother does marry this guy.

Does it feel like it matters? Yes, from the emotional perspective of a jealous father it matters. When she identified herself with his last name, I understood logically that she didn't know or understand what she was talking about. However, my first emotion was jealous anger. I wasn't angry at her...I don't think I was really truely even angry at the other guy. I was probably angry that the situation even existed.

I'm her Dad. Ideally, there shouldn't even be somone else to get names confused with for a young girl. Nonetheless, this is the reality of world that she lives in. That is so much more my fault, than my daughter's or the other guy's if I'm being totally honest with myself.


I think you have now hit the nail on the head at last Diogeness! The most violent type of anger is the one where one is angry with oneself and someone does something to remind us we have f.ucked up big time ... because there is a double wammy of anger, the one we feel for ourselves and the one we feel towards the person who reminds us of it ... Only we project it all on the other person ...

In order to leave at peace with yourself and project safety, re-assurance and love to your daughter, you may need to forgive yourself for being instrumental in her being in the position she is now in ... Also kids tend to feel the energy of anger from those they love and sometimes they think that it's THEIR fault even when it obviously isn't ... Responsibility as a parent comes in many layers ...

PS. I have been both a step-mum and have experienced my children having a step-mum in their life ...
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skimpydoo
Dublin, Dublin Ireland
Posted: Mar 20, 2008, 7:40 AM CST
I think he is just trying to get a violent reaction out of you. He is jealous that you are still part of your ex's life and he wants that to stop. Don't give in to his tactics and make your ex see what he is doing. He may even be a bad influence on your daughter.
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Tennessee personals
dcj22
Somewhere, Minnesota USA
Posted: Mar 20, 2008, 10:32 AM CST
FlowerOfTheSnow wrote:
Same thing happened to me but by phone ... I just burst out laughing so loud my sides were aching!!! She got really upset and put the phone down on me!!!

I was later told by my ex that she was really upset and cried for a while and that I was really thoughtless to have laughed at her as she was only trying to help!!! So I laughed at him too!!!

She never tried it again!!! And he never gave me anymore lectures about being thoughtless to his new lady!!!




This, is absolutely PERFECT!!! I love it!!
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Texas personals
diogenes
Longview, Texas USA
Posted: Mar 20, 2008, 2:56 PM CST
angelana wrote:
Why is this in Food, Recipes etc forum?


I chose that so I could "wine" about my problems....my sublte eccentric attempt at humor.
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Tennessee personals
dcj22
Somewhere, Minnesota USA
Posted: Mar 20, 2008, 2:57 PM CST
diogenes wrote:
I chose that so I could "wine" about my problems....my sublte eccentric attempt at humor.



You're always fun, sweetie. And you had every right to be upset. hug
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lover65
Vero Beach, Florida USA
Posted: Mar 24, 2008, 6:24 PM CST
angelana wrote:
Why is this in Food, Recipes etc forum?


Darn it,You beat me to it! I was trying to figure that out too.
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Sophie73
Denver, Colorado USA
Posted: May 30, 2008, 11:26 PM CST
hehe good catch!
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