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wow I am going to use that one when my step dad is drunk

I used to collect blond jokes,but my brother kept reminding me I was a blond.

you are too funny joe, tell the uk man a joke to make him laugh he thinks we are all too serious tonight he dosen't know yet that we all are moody people here.

I have a true story that strikes me as funny at the moment.

well if it is funny share it so we aren't so drab here now come on cough it up!

I used to work with this group of guys that had two main topics of discussion.Deer hunting and Nascar.They called themselves dog hunters.They each had between 25 and 60 dogs.Dog blood lines passed down for generations,all in the name of a better hunting dog.These boys were really proud of them dogs.They come in one morning tired,scratched up,covered in mosqito bites.There was a dog that, overnight, had became a grand champion and was suddenly worth 8 million.They wanted puppies.They wanted blood lines.The dogs owner wasn't parting with anything,so they get the idea to dress in black,cross a mile and a half black and green swamp,full of leeches,water mocossins,and an occassional alligator to do a little midnight shopping.They get in,get out,get home with the goods.I say"Where's the puppy?"We got genetic material was the reply.My wife is a nurse and she showed me how.You need a rubber glove and a special plastic bag.All I could say was"Tell me you just didn't tell me, you went through all of that to be known as a dog jacker."

good one man

but please tell me he didnt really do that...

The best way to hunt a deer is to put out some feed corn the night before.In the morning wait for the best buck to come along and get him in your sites.Just before you pull the trigger, set your coffee cup down on the kitchen table.You won't be late for work this way.

The absolute truth.They didn't think I was as funny as I thought I was.You shouldn't really piss off a bunch of rednecks with loaded guns.

How do you tell a blondes true age if she lives north of the county line?Count her teeth and multiply by her tattoos.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.

Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair, Kill Her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions.

He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn.

She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband.

She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "The darn gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Sounds about right.

Are you at the Salt river in your picture?

no... at a beach in chicago